[20oney]

I have a session tomorrow with T. I run through it all in my head constantly from the moment I leave the office, until I go back 2 weeks later. It's probably the strongest motivator to keep going that I have.

How do you all prepare yourself for a session? Or do you not?

I'm not good at talking, or expressing what's really going on. I find some weeks I tell myself what I am going to say. Majority of the time I never end up saying any of it though.. I'd like to present a vulnerable side of myself in therapy, but am yet to discover a way in doing this. I'm honestly not sure that I am capable of expressing myself, it's just an internal war that I get to face alone because it doesn't budge when I try bringing it to the surface..

Anyway.. just wondering! Do you prepare yourself, and how?

[catnip123]

My T always asks me if I have a 'question of the week' before we get started on what she's planning to talk about. So I try to think of anything that came up during the week that I want to ask about. Other than that I don't do anything else to prepare for a session.

I am no longer in regular therapy but I did prepare when I was. I never had issues expressing myself, more the opposite: usually too many things on my mind at once. It helped to make a plan to keep on track. Nothing complicated, just decided on one main topic I wanted to address in the session and also often told the T about it in advance, via email. Sometimes I changed the plan (even more than once) during the week between sessions but usually I stuck with my last decision and would jump start the session with it. There was often still quite a bit of wandering in the actual session but it was typically around the main topic. I usually found sessions where there was too much of what I perceived as aimless drifting rather unsatisfying, so planning worked better. I do this with many things in my life so I believe I just used the same strategy in therapy.

[AnxiousGirl]

I try to prepare but it doesn't go as planned. I usually plan like right after the serious weeks session by saying "okay next week 100% I'm going to tell my T about this or that" then when the day comes I say "eh maybe not" and I don't usually tell her in depth about whats going on. Sometimes I say something and she goes from there and we do uncover some hidden stuff but not all the time. It sucks.

I was never a preparer. For the most part I just went in and we got started. My therapist and I had a routine that we started with, sort of a check in, that always seemed to get us to where the session needed to go.

Have you considered sort of a therapy journal where you write down what is on your mind and share it (or parts of it) with your therapist at the beginning of the session to get started?

[lucozader]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I try to prepare but it doesn't go as planned. I usually plan like right after the serious weeks session by saying "okay next week 100% I'm going to tell my T about this or that" then when the day comes I say "eh maybe not" and I don't usually tell her in depth about whats going on.

I'm sort of similar to this. This week, for example, I planned what I was going to say obsessively, going over and over it in my head until it was almost a script. Then I sat down in front of him and it all went out the window. I did manage to address some of the things that I wanted to address, but it wasn't anything like it was in my head...

[Sarmas]

I try to think about things that I want to talk about but then when I'm in session I'm not sure what to say. I know what I should speak about but it won't come out. This past session part of the session led up to things that I wanted to address. I sort beat around the bush a bit but i never nailed it. It was better than not addressing it at all. I just keep trying and making a mental note for the next time. I find that as long as I'm talking in session it is productive.

Some therapist say that preparing too much and forcing the interaction onto a specific track is a form of resistance/defense against allowing stuff to come up spontaneously.

I used to be very poor at preparing for my therapy sessions. I would literally just sit there not knowing what to say. "Uhhhh..." Then I realized that I actually had A LOT of things I could talk about. I just wasn't thinking about them because I never mentally prepared.

That said, one thing that helps me a lot is taking 5 or 10 minutes on the day before my therapy session to think about my stressors, what went well recently, what didn't go well recently, and what kind of advice I was seeking. Believe me, everyone has stressors in their life, even if they're not obvious, and there are always pros and cons to what happened during the past X weeks. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of thinking, which is why I always carve a few minutes out of my day, usually midday though (because thinking about it before bed makes me ponder about it ALL night). But you also don't want to overthink it. Stick to 5-10 minutes, then go do something else.

Then on the day of my session, I review everything I went over on the day before. Basically I "sleep on it" and see if I changed my mind. "Ohh, that was stupid." Or "ohh, I forgot about X, Y, Z." The idea of preparing a day in advance is to make sure I'm not stressed and scrambling at the last minute to think of something. Because that's when I forget.

But what works for me might not work for you. It's just an idea.

[20oney]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I was never a preparer. For the most part I just went in and we got started. My therapist and I had a routine that we started with, sort of a check in, that always seemed to get us to where the session needed to go.

Have you considered sort of a therapy journal where you write down what is on your mind and share it (or parts of it) with your therapist at the beginning of the session to get started?

Yeah we sort of do the check in thing to. If I have sent an email through the time between sessions, T might bring something up.. Im no good at committing to taking a therapy journal, best I can do is email, but I constantly fight not to use that.. It's a long process hah

[thesnowqueen]

I either make a list in my head, or note some keywords down on my phone. Generally the stuff gets covered anyway in the session, but I can look down every now and then to check that things are being covered. Sometimes things on the list seem less significant during the session and then I'm happy to just omit. I also found it artificial and difficult to broach each topic in order of my list - so I just let everything emerge in its own place.

I look on the past week and decide on what I want to talk about.

I'm doing childhood exercise for the past 2 weeks.

She would ask how I'm doing, my job.

There's always something to talk about.

[annielovesbacon]

I'm a writer. Flannery O'Connor once said, "I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." I relate to that a lot -- I am not really good at identifying my emotions and thoughts in the moment, but I take 5-10 minutes out of each day to write something. Then before my session I will go through and reread what I've written, and I can get a sense of my mood and patterns of emotions, etc. I also will write down things I think "I need to say that to t!" so I don't forget.
I write about every session immediately afterward so before each session I review what we talked about in the previous session. That helps me prepare as well. T takes notes but sometimes she forgets things.

I don't. I sometimes really struggle to begin a session. But my experience by now tells me, what needs or wants to become seen will.

[feileacan]

I don't plan either. I also very rarely talk about what's happening in my life. I also struggle starting to talk at all, so we have a basic agreement that my T starts. He usually starts with some random observation he made about me when I came in. I usually become immediately hostile to him when I walk in the room and then I typically start arguing back to him. It takes me a lot of time to get to a place where I can see and feel him as someone I can trust, typically during the last 5-10 minutes. Everything else before that is just an attempt to get there and things we talk are not important in themselves at all. Then finally, when I get to this trusting place, I can talk to him about however I'm feeling or what comes to my mind at that moment.

I don't prepare as such. I think a lot between sessions and sometimes I talk about that stuff or sometimes it just takes a different path when I get in there

[MBM17]

I keep a list during the week. I also compose email drafts to my therapist (I don't send them) and then can pull those up during session.

I relate to A LOT of what you said in your post. Especially - I think all week many times a day about the last therapy session, what we said, etc., and that's what helps me keep going. I worry that it's extreme, that I shouldn't do it, but I need it. It helps and supports me.

[luvnola]

I don't prepare. I don't have regular weekly sessions anymore, so most times I forget I have a session until I get a reminder text the day before. I don't really think about therapy until I'm there.

[captgut]

I try to write a speech - on my laptop or just in my head.
But every time I fail and can say nothing.

Last time I made my speech, but I was almost panicking. Speaking is too hard for me...

[InnerPeace111]

I am an organizer / planner by nature so, yes, I plan for each session. I always seem to have questions about myself, events to discuss, dreams to explore, etc. I write everything down in my journal day by day or sometimes I just write a list in my journal at the end of the week. I bring my journal to therapy so that I won't forget to mention something important.

[skeksi]

I used to plan quite a bit of what I would say. Then if T didn't respond as I wanted or expected, I felt frustrated. I think I was afraid to not be in control of what happened in the sessions.

Now I usually don't plan. I sometimes glance through my journal the morning of T to refresh my memory about what's been going on for me. This may be easier right now because we have been dealing with the same issues for a while so I just pick up the thread where we left off.

[dlantern]

Anything emergency or pressing get to the front. We try to match it up with what is easy to discuss ie family, job, processing, trauma. It might also spill over into groups discussing what went right. For us it all depends on who is ready to enter therapy, if we are strong enough to allow newbie in therapy despite their reservation sometimes they have to be shown inside of waiting permission that is suppressed anyway. I think they all get the picture especially with a map and know eventually they might need a turn with the therapist..

How was your week, the slow approach works best if you struggle with trust.
Colorful papers drawing anything creative and innovative might be an option to lighten up the moment. Especially if you like to laugh take it easy not really good at jumping right into trauma. Letting your light shine for the spiritual folks.