[CantExplain]

Are there things you say that your T objects to?

[doogie]

Yes. When I judge myself too harshly for things.

[nottrustin]

Whenever I talk about being a bad parent. She will tell me why I am a really good mom...then she will say how I she knows I disagree but she will agree to disagree.

[lucozader]

He objected to me repeatedly calling myself 'pathetic'. It kind of makes me want to tease him by doing it more...

When i get all judge-y about myself.

[ruh roh]

I can't think of anything. She's fine with whatever foul names I call myself. I can't think of anything I've said to her/about her that's offensive.

He didn't often let me get away with "I don't know." It wasn't about about not liking it as much as he kind of felt if I was resorting to that answer, there was probably something deeper going on. He kind of took "I don't know" as the start of an exploratory mission.

[atisketatasket]

Pretty much everything out of my mouth was disliked by DBC.

[junkDNA]

One time I told him that I think psychological tests are stupid. He never gave me one after that , haha. Oops.

Oh yeah the "i don't know" thing- when i say that she'll say "you don't know? Or you won't say?" usually of course it was that i didn't want to say.

[CharlieStarDust]

She doesn't like when I question her sincerity; and when I tell her she's not real and neither is the relationship. But she's a pro, and takes it in stirde and challenges me on that.

[junkDNA]

last session my T said "i care about you"

i said "i dont believe you"

he said "that feels offensive"

how i hate myself, how stupid i am, that i deserved to be abused, that i cant do anything right, that he things my family says are right. it makes her really mad.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

last session my T said "i care about you"

i said "i dont believe you"

he said "that feels offensive"

Yeah, I can see how that would sting. I haven't said anything like that to my therapist, but I think it would feel like an insult to her if I did.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Yeah, I can see how that would sting. I haven't said anything like that to my therapist, but I think it would feel like an insult to her if I did.

Yeah I'm rude
I know

It's honest too, i think, more than rude. Saying "i don't believe you" is about you, not him, y'know? Saying "no you don't" would be ruder i think but that's my opinion .

[awkwardlyyours]

Both former T and current T (more the latter) have repeatedly commented that I always come in with an agenda or have something on my mind to talk about.

They were not complimenting me.

I've now tried to go in without something specific to talk about and I can already see the long roads to stultifying boredom stretching out before me and current T mostly not having a clue on how to deal with it.

I don't know if this counts..

When I was getting psychological testing for my ADHD and bipolar, i had to do an IQ test. I kept saying "sorry, I really suck at this" in response to almost EVERY question. I said it because I was severely depressed and felt like a failure.

The lady never said anything to me. Just gave me funny looks... and you could tell she wanted to tell me to stop it, but she was uncomfortable saying it... So I keep saying it until she gave me even more weird looks. Lol. That's when I stopped.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Both former T and current T (more the latter) have repeatedly commented that I always come in with an agenda or have something on my mind to talk about.

They were not complimenting me.

I've now tried to go in without something specific to talk about and I can already see the long roads to stultifying boredom stretching out before me and current T mostly not having a clue on how to deal with it.

You're the boss. You have a right to set the agenda.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

You're the boss. You have a right to set the agenda.

Yeah, I know.

What I understood though -- and, I suppose it has some merit although it's debatable if it's the right approach given where I am -- is that I use it as a defense i.e., end up mostly in an analytical / cognitive space rather than accessing my emotions / being spontaneous blah blah.

I get the sense though that Ts believe in that spontaneity stuff in a largely cookie-cutter way -- it's good for all clients at all times kind of a thing although I'm not sure they're always prepared to handle what comes up.

In the last session, the lack of an agenda somehow ended up with current T asking me a bunch of questions and me responding with an excruciatingly close analysis of her therapy techniques (down to how and when she attempts to mirror me). She seemed to then get stuck for words and then finally said the session was 'surreal' and that she hasn't met clients who analyze sessions that way (I was tempted to tell her that they are more likely to have just not told her).

So, we'll see how it goes -- I'll give it a couple more sessions and then decide if it's worth continuing doing therapy 'spontaneously'.

[stopdog]

She said she did not like being called Dude. Or you people. I generally stopped Dude but told her I do it in my head. I did not stop you people. I asked what she wanted to be called and she said her name. Good god - we are not that close.

[captgut]

"I don't know"
"Nothing" (What's wrong?)
"Maybe"

[annielovesbacon]

She doesn't like it when I say negative things about myself and will say so every time I do it. I also am quite vulgar in my language and I suspect she doesn't like that either, or at least she personally does not like to use foul language.

[feileacan]

No, I don't think I would be able to say anything that my T doesn't like. When in session with me he puts himself, his likes and dislikes aside and focusses only on me to try to understand why I say the things I say. I see it as an advantage of a blank slate T.

[runlola72]

He doesn't allow me to apologize as much as I want to. I'm constantly saying sorry to him. Especially if I've emailed him a lot. He tells me it's ok to acknowledge but not ok to say I'm sorry for that.