[20oney]

how many of you use email or texting with T between session? As well as how often..?

I'm suuuuper uncomfortable with emailing my T, but I also rely on it a lot.. Some weeks, I won't feel the need to email at all. Where as other weeks, I need to touch base, to know that there is still that someone who is goi g to be there for me.. So I maybe email 0-4 times a week.

[Luce]

I have only seen my T for 8 sessions so far, but we have emailed a bit for practical / necessary reasons - needing to organize various connections with others and getting forms completed and such.
I am away from home for a couple of months and she offered to keep in touch via email while I was away, but I declined at that point (not realizing we would need to keep in touch for those practical reasons). I did tack on a positive personal update to one practical email, and she replied specifically to that.
I think she is okay with email, but I personally don't want to get into the habit of using it. I think I would overuse it. Once the other parts of me get involved (I have DID) they all want to have their say. I don't want to get into that situation.

[SoConfused623]

There is no way that my T would ever give me her email address or her cell number. I'd bet a lot of money on that! Truth be told, even if she allowed out of session contact, I probably would only use it in extreme emergencies.

[captgut]

I don't have his contacts, but I can't even imagine me writing or texting him.

Possible trigger:

maybe i'll sent him my suicide note. idk

He allowed me call clinic where he works in cause of emergency. I never called him, even beeing too close to sui, even when i SIed. And I'll never call. It's not an emergency. I can't be an emergency.
I often need someone to speak out (between sessions i mean),now i can write here and it's amazing.

Also for me it's quite strange that Ts allow texting. That means they are at work 24/7! Of course it's their choice

[LostOnTheTrail]

So far, I've emailed R twice. Once with a question about something we discussed in session, and once to tell her that I'd applied for a job. I've thought about it much more, but...to use P's favourite term...'Boundaries!'

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T only texts when there's a schedule change. I do email her at least once a week. I think the most I've emailed her in a week is 5 or 6 times. Mostly the emails are for check-ins and just to know she's there. Other times, it's when I'm dealing with something difficult. I've also used email a few times when I had something to tell her, but was too afraid to do it in person. In her replies, she acknowledges what I wrote, and provides reassurance and encouragement.

[feileacan]

I do email my T sometimes. It really depends on how I feel. There have been periods I've emailed every week and sometimes several times a week. There have been periods of several months when I haven't felt any need to email.

But, my T has never promised that he will respond, nor do I expect him to respond. So, I could probably email him as often as I want, to get things out that I find too hard to say in session. But I rarely get an answer and I basically never expect an answer. I know that he always reads and thinks about what I write, though.

Another T I had temporarily sometimes responded too. But again, it was not something granted, so I never relied on it. I wrote because I wanted to write. If I wanted a response, I would call instead.

[CharlieStarDust]

I was in the habit of emailing T after each session; mostly saying what did or didn't work for me and what I took away, or what stuck me. We have an agreement that she'd acknowledge my email, and if it's worth discussing, we'll do it in session. I usually see her every 2 weeks - so that's the frequency.

I can text my T but not excessive amounts. Not sure what she defines as excessive though she said something like hyperbolic like "just as long as it's not 50x a day".

I sometimes send several messages during a rough day in a crisis sort of situation, but when it settles down I text saying I'm OK. I don't text on good days but sometimes I do to say something general that I've noted about my progress in a week or two weeks. I see her once a month due to the clinic being overloaded.

Her boundary is she'll read at her own pace when she wants to, and she won't reply.

Knowing she doesn't get notifications (I asked, she told me) and will check periodically when she wants to see if I've messaged (this she told me because I thought no notifications meant she let them pile up unread) does reassure me that she doesn't feel intruded upon by my texts.

She's made references to my texts before during sessions, such as when I've texted I'm afraid she will grow to resent me.

[clueda]

I don't really.

I think I've emailed her 3 times over the last 2.5 years, and it was always for scheduling purposes. 2 years ago she also gave me her cell phone number because she went away while I was in crisis. I didn't have to use it though.

My T always calls (never texts/emails) when she has to cancel or move my appointment.

[MessyD]

We only text to schedule or reschedule our sessions. I'm not sure what his policies are, I never asked. I never emailed him, I wouldn't want to risk rejection (although he probably wouldn't) but I also prefer it that way, I could get used to it easily and I don't want to count on him being there all the time.

[Teddy:)]

I email all the time! My T is fine with it, she actually encourages it as emailing her helps me process stuff. I also struggle with holding onto her presence so being able to email & ask if she there is very reassuring. I couldn't imagine seeing a T who was against out of session contact

I emailed both of my therapists a lot. The first was very confusing and messy regarding how he viewed the email communications but the second had no objections to my sending as many as I wanted and whenever. It was me who had a lot of ambivalence about my between-sessions emails. I did ~5-6/week on average. Most of my emails tended to be quite long and detailed but also had short ones about scheduling etc occasionally. I had the habit of almost always sending a reflection email to them a few hours after session, on the same day. They were okay with texting but I rarely texted them simply because I rarely use that form of communication with anyone. So, lots of emails. The second one was great at handling responding, he always promptly replied to scheduling issues, otherwise kept it short and to the point when there was something that warranted a response. Very organized, clean and professional - I loved it. I did have lots of negative/mixed feelings about my sending all the long/detailed emails (often with a compulsive drive) but eventually that motivation dissipated and it was very liberating.

I did not use email to seek support or reassurance, for me it was an extra channel to express myself, provide information, reflect, process stuff etc. Like journaling or blogging but sending them the "articles". So I had no issues that it wasn't reciprocated, in fact when my first T got overly enmeshed in the emails and wrote a lot, it affected me negatively and made him question his motives.

Not with any of my therapists. They were always available via phone contact to their office or after hours by phone, but not emails or text. Honestly, I preferred it that way. Having an actual conversation where we could hear each other's voice, ask immediate questions, get immediate clarification, was much more helpful to me that an email or text would have been. I see emails and texts more for business matters that don't need immediate response or depth of reply. If I needed to contact my therapist out of session, I NEEDED immediate response and depth of reply. Phone calls were always responded to within a few hours at most and he was always willing and able to spend time with me on the phone if that was my need. It was very personal and attentive.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

I did not use email to seek support or reassurance, for me it was an extra channel to express myself, provide information, reflect, process stuff etc. Like journaling or blogging but sending them the "articles". So I had no issues that it wasn't reciprocated, in fact when my first T got overly enmeshed in the emails and wrote a lot, it affected me negatively and made him question his motives.

I have used email and handwritten letters in this way. I don't want or need the therapist to respond. I tried calling both a couple of times - I found that not useful at all. There was, for me, no benefit in hearing their voice or in having an exchange with them. This response on my part greatly baffled the second one and she kept trying to get me to call her more until she finally accepted that for me, it just was not something that made a difference.

I am allowed to text mine and I usually do but I try to limit it to one day a week as I don't want to become a nuisance. Sometimes I just send her a text to simply check she is still there, due to my abandonment issues.

[Erebos]

My pdoc says NO, to outside session contact, and I am so glad, because it means his other clients don't get to either.
For those of you with a possessive streak I think you get what I mean.I would have to message all the time so I knew his other clients didn't get any of his time. *facepalms*

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have used email and handwritten letters in this way. I don't want or need the therapist to respond. I tried calling both a couple of times - I found that not useful at all. There was, for me, no benefit in hearing their voice or in having an exchange with them. This response on my part greatly baffled the second one and she kept trying to get me to call her more until she finally accepted that for me, it just was not something that made a difference.

I did like getting responses from them when I did but with the reasonable, concise and professional content my last therapist used, not the often dramatic, patronizing and superficially "meaningful" style of the first one.

One conventional "therapisty" thing that sometimes bothered me was when they would send an email just to say they received my email or even more, that they received but would read it in detail later. I realized that this is probably something they learn to do in school and do with many clients by default because some get impatient and do get something out of being simply acknowledged but for me it felt unnecessary and rather meaningless. I mean, emails most often bounce back when they don't go through so I would know and I had little doubt they would read mine when they wanted. I guess that sort of textbook T reaction bothered me because on some level it made me feel as though I was not able to wait for meaningful communication or that they perceived me as very needy, which is something that tends to clash with my default self image. But I did get how they were probably unclear about me at first, what I wanted with all those emails.

[skeksi]

I have emailed once. T is willing to but what helps me is him, being in a room and seeing and talking with him, so when I am struggling an extra appointment is what helps me.

[InnerPeace111]

My T and I do not text at all. I do not have her phone number. We email but only for canceling and rescheduling appointments. That's it. Otherwise no outside of session contact. I prefer it this way. I am an extremely private person with strict boundaries for myself.

[passionfruit3]

I don't necessarily text my therapist but people on my team like my casemanagers sometimes text and I'll text them

[Sarmas]

I did email text in the past and things didn't go well with that. I would send her an email whenever I felt like things were going out of control and I was in distress. She encouraged menu the past to also use email in order to communicate things that I had a hard time discussing in session. Now I only communicate if it's related to a change in schedule. Otherwise I've learned and now I don't text or
Email at all.

[ruh roh]

I email often. Sometimes to vent (not about T, but life), sometimes for support, sometimes to convey information. I don't use it to get angry with my therapist or to work out conflicts unless it can be done with a simple clarification. It's been a tremendous help, but I also have a tremendously good therapist. She replies when/if she can.

[MobiusPsyche]

I email but no text as I don't have her cell number. I've also called in the past.

I email no more than twice a week and usually it's zero times a week. I see my T twice a week so if I only saw her twice a month or something the emailing would probably be more often.

My T lets me write two pages and give it to her at every session. She reads and responds to it, and we discuss things during session sometimes. I think this system is why I'm not emailing all the time. I think it works better for her because it's more predictable and the amount is limited to two pages. It works really well for me too (Although the amount used to not be limited so we had a rough patch when she had to limit it).

So even though I don't usually use email, I get that same level of access that others do if that makes any sense. She has done this for other clients in the past so I don't feel like she's making an exception for me.

[Pennster]

I use email, text and phone pretty regularly. It all works really well for us. My therapist does between-session coaching by phone, and that's really helpful when I am distressed, or trying to catch myself before I fall into depression. I occasionally text with an update if I am doing better after a hard time, or if something has happened. And I use email almost like journaling- I write up things to reflect and process them.

The only communications I expect an answer for are phone calls. We often talk about the things I email about in session, but often it's enough for me to write them up and work them out that way. To me the most key thing is that I don't expect a response for emails or texts- waiting for a response would be too hard.