[BlessedRhiannon]

Hello all,
I was never a very active poster, but did share some on this forum for a while. I've been away from even reading the boards for about 6 months. I find myself in a very interesting place now and thought I'd come back and see what I could contribute to this community.

I went through a major depression and was suicidal the end of last October/ first of November. It was a hellish two weeks - I took medical leave from work, was in contact with my T daily, worked with my pdoc to try and stabilize my mood. I probably should have been hospitalized, but it was something I just couldn't do. My T did suggest a day program, which I also was not able to do. That suggestion from T caused a lot of hurt for me and once I was past the crisis, I tried to pull completely away from the therapy relationship. We talked through it, and just in the past two weeks, I've really felt better about the relationship again I feel like maybe it's even a bit stronger now.

I'm still going to therapy and we are now working on some old issues that are cropping up again. I'm in an interesting place because I'm not constantly trying to manage symptoms or jumping from one crisis to the next with just short breathers in between. My pdoc has finally gotten me on a great mix of meds to manage my bipolar and ocd symptoms. I finally feel like I can really participate in life again! It's a good feeling to want to explore things in therapy (even if it's really hard and it's topics I'd so much rather avoid). It is a good feeling to want to participate in online communities as well as socialize with people in real life.

So, I wanted to come back here and share some of my story with others, share my therapy perspective, and support others in their journeys. I'm not sure how active I will be, but I'll be around anyway.

[BonnieJean]

It is good to hear from you, RhI. I remember reading your posts over the years.