[Teddy:)]

If you had made an agreement with your T to update them on an event that was occurring that was important to you, and you followed through on this....would you expect you T to reply?

I've learned that it's best to not expect emails from therapists other than about practical stuff like scheduling or bills. It does not mean I don't wish for it but that's different from expecting and being upset if it does not come or not when I would like. I take it as it's not part of their job to interact with me via email, when they do it's a nice extra but not fair to expect it, IMO. It saves some turmoil.

[Pennster]

In that circumstance, I would probably hope for a reply, but knowing my therapist it would probably take a few days!

My therapist isn't great about replying to emails- but I find writing emails very helpful. The way I resolve this is by telling him I don't need a reply, and then not expecting one. I find this much less painful than hoping for an answer. And if I do need an answer on something I usually ring or text him.

But it took me awhile to come up with this solution, so I know it can be hard if you don't hear back!

[RainyDay107]

If they requested the update, yes. I would expect a reply. If you wanted to update them and initiated the idea, I suppose a reply is optional. (I think a reply is a good idea, either way if the client doesn't overuse E-mail "privileges."). Validate your client, T!

-----Soapbox talk:

Frankly, it seems like a lot of Ts "accept" E-mails from clients between sessions, but don't reply or send a terse reply. It seems invalidating. I'm basing my observation from what I've read in this forum.

I can text my new T and she will reply. I've just recently (yesterday, lol) discussed my decision to trust her and enter the course of trauma therapy (big deal for me to work on C-PTSD), but even in the previous weeks she has replied to texts, on other issues. I think I e texted her three times over the past few months. She wants more contact if I don't feel well.

My prior T did no therapy or any correspondence outside sessions, electronic or otherwise. I would receive his answering machine when I'd occasionally call to change an appointment.

Both methods are fine with me - I just need the rules laid out in the beginning. My new T has encouraged me to text her when I feel bad, but what would I say?

I suppose I'm not used to a T wanting me to do that - reach out. I just roll with my feelings and use DBT skills. I have bipolar disorder and anxiety - I can't imagine texting her absent a very significant issue. I don't understand, really.

Anyway, I feel sad reading about how members have permission to send their T E-mails, but then it's a guessing game if/when they will receive a reply. I think it puts a lot of power in T's hands over the client. IMO. (It reminds me of when a boy takes a girl on a date and she waits by her phone the next day for his promised call.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by Teddy:)

If you had made an agreement with your T to update them on an event that was occurring that was important to you, and you followed through on this....would you expect you T to reply?

At some point, probably, but I would understand if she couldn't reply the same day. If it were during her days off, it would be even more unpredictable. But that's my situation only. It's been long enough now that I don't read too much into it if she doesn't reply.

How long has it been since you sent her an update?

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Teddy:)

If you had made an agreement with your T to update them on an event that was occurring that was important to you, and you followed through on this....would you expect you T to reply?

I wouldn't expect my T to reply but I would hope she would reply. Setting my expectations so high would only lead to a let down and frustration if she didn't answer. I think to us it would be expected but they don't have the obligation to respond.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Since my T always replies to texts or emails unless I specifically ask her not to, I would most definitely expect a reply back. I suppose that really depends on the T's style, though My T's style is to respond to emails and texts unless asked not to. With phone calls, she does only return calls if asked to do so, so I guess if I'd left her a voice mail, I'd have to ask for a call back. I know some T's are the opposite and will only respond if asked to do so.

[luvnola]

No I wouldn't. My t wouldn't call or reply, but would mention it at the next appointment. But that's my t; she doesn't do between session contact.