[thesnowqueen]

I was wondering how important others think it is for their p-doc's to gel with them personality-wise. The one I was seeing was fairly cool and I would describe what was happening. He would ask questions like 'do you think the meds are doing anything?' which I never could answer. Generally I knew the kinds of things important to report and he would make notes. Because I'd been seeing him for 8 years someone suggested a change might be in order and I've just seen a younger female doctor. Totally different manner - she hugged me after the appointment and made me promise not to SH or S. I am also able to message or email her direct which I'v never been able to do with a doc before. I think it's good because we are starting afresh - blood tests, EEG, etc. However, I also wonder whether personality and manner, degree of warmth, etc, is of any importance when it comes to p-doc as opposed to therapist.

My interactions with my pdoc were very different from my interactions with my therapist, probably because my pdoc really didn't engage in therapy with me; he knew I had a therapist. My pdoc is definitely much more clinical with me. Because his focus is on medication management, our discussions were focused on symptomatology that the meds were treating rather than discussion of issues in any depth. He is a very kind man. Very soft spoken, polite, gentlemanly. I respect his work with me, his willingness to really make me a partner in my medical decisions, his ability to listen to my concerns, his clarity in explaining everything he is doing. He has an excellent bedside manner. But as much as I like the man, there is no deeper relationship, certainly not like I have with my therapist. I'm okay with that. So long as he has all of the above characteristics, that is perfectly satisfactory to me.

I have dealt with specialists, particularly with my husband, who have awful personalities, terrible bedside manner, who are unwilling to listen and explain things in detail. I am quite certain there are many pdocs out there who fit that description and I feel very fortunate not to have been landed with one of them.

I don't think the need for personalities to gel is just something needed in a pdoc. I find it important no matter what health care provider I am receiving services from. I've been in situations where, because of the particular specialty/illness and limitations of insurance or accessibility, we had no choice but to deal with whatever awful personality was in front of us, and those were stressful appointments, often very intimidating, and exasperating.

[atisketatasket]

For me, if I'm seeing someone for 20-minute appointments, we don't need to gel at all.

Current psychiatrist seems soft-spoken and polite. He is also easy on the eyes.

Former psychiatrist insisted on one-hour appointments (where you got about 20 minutes' worth of time) and had an incredibly labile and sometimes abrasive personality. Perhaps if we had gelled better she wouldn't have suddenly terminated me unethically, so on the whole I prefer the polite disengagement of the current psychiatrist.

[thesnowqueen]

Interesting! I also thought that polite, relatively-disengaged and clinical was just fine.

I do think 'an excellent bed-side manner' is MORE than this. Then again I respond disproportionately to unexpected kindness...

My current T seems to think that the doc should relate on a deeper level than impersonal-professional in order to properly assess how one is doing. However, when it comes to prescribing meds, the options are really so limited - and the ways the chemicals affect the various capacities is so crude, I'm really not sure how much of a fine grasp is required.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I'm very grateful for my p-doc. He has an excellent bedside manner, is knowledgeable, listens to me, explains things well, and is willing to make the appointment as long as it takes to resolve concerns. There's no rushing to the next patient. That does mean that sometimes I'll have a long wait to see him, but I also know that should I need extra time, I will get it. He's accessible by email and phone and even cell phone for emergencies. He doesn't do therapy with me - he knows I have an excellent therapist that he teams well with. For me, these were all very important factors in staying with him once I'd met him the first time.

For me, it is very important that I have a good relationship with any of my health care providers. It's more so with my pdoc, though, because I see him so often and for such difficult things.

[Elio]

My T is a p-doc. I see her only for therapy and my GP prescribes most my meds with endo-doc prescribing my testosterone. I am on an interesting mix of medications that all affect my mood/energy levels.

So yeah, it is important that we gel. I understand this would be different if I was seeing her only for medication management.

Personality absolutely matters to me.

If my pdoc has a selfish or arrogant personality, there is no way I am going to stick with him/her. I do not want a pdoc who acts like I'm a worthless peasant who doesn't know anything. I cannot respect someone who cannot respect me.

Even if my appts were only 1 min long, I still would not want to deal with that personality. No one deserves to be mistreated.

If I was just seeing someone 20 minutes a month for medication management, the most important thing would be their competence and patient centeredness. I would not want a nice, warm doctor who was behind the times in treatments or lacked patient centeredness. A competent cold doctor who took my concerns and preferences into consideration would suit me better. In my experience, they are not mutually exclusive, believe it or not.

we are starting afresh - blood tests, EEG, etc.

That is a really good sign, and not the standard in my experience.

I had a long-term psychiatrist therapist who I had a great relationship with, and I've had a really good rapport with most of my psychiatrists over the years. However, I think most were not that knowledgeable, and aside from the one who was a therapist, I really regret having stayed with them. At the time, it didn't cross my mind because they were helpful in a sense where they viewed me optimistically or positively and without stigma. I've always felt psychiatrist I've worked with were very non-pathologizing and supportive.

However, it took me years to figure out it that working with them was not good for me in the long run (after years of accumulating knowledge about psychiatry). The last 3 prescribed whatever I specifically asked for and never had their own ideas, which was so disappointing. Just give me your damn prescription pad and save me the time and money.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think it's important to have a connection on some level. I've had 2 horrible Pdocs in the past. One told me that my depression was bs, and the other criticized my weight even though he was bigger than me (he was over flowing his chair!) I also had a Pdoc who was more concerned about college and job than my meds and mental health.

My current Pdoc is okay. She's nice, but I'm not attached to her or anything. But she gets the job done. That's enough for me. And she doesn't criticize or disrespect me.

[annielovesbacon]

I need to be able to trust him/her so I feel comfortable sharing symptoms like

Possible trigger:

SH, disordered eating, and suicidal thoughts,

but other than that, s/he can be any old doctor. I just discuss general symptoms and if the meds are helping or having an effect. I only see my pdoc for about 20 minutes once a month, so even if I wanted to have a closer relationship with him it would be hard. But I don't want that. That's what I have a therapist for.

[Donutworryrelax]

I think it's best when the therapist is cool and has a good sense of humor. This helps you trust them and relate to them more. At the same time, they should set boundaries and remains professional. It's especially reassuring if they seem intelligent and observant. It's always important to remember that they're not your friend (as hard as that can be sometimes), they're your therapist, and they're there to help guide you towards a healthier life.

[captgut]

My T is also a psychiatrist.
It's ok, but i don't know how to answer to "do you think meds are working?". Because i don't know...

And when we talk about meds it reminds me i'm a patient, i'm weird etc.

I see my pdoc once every six months. In the beginning it was important that he could build rapport for me to open up about symptoms. Now it isn't important. I'm embarrassed I got so attached though.

[nottrustin]

I really thinks it depends on the person. For me what is most important is for my Pdoc to listen to me and be understanding . When it comes to meds I am very stubborn on what I will and will not take. I also need to feel comfortable talking to them if I am going to disclose painful information.

I knew Pdoc on a personal level as a coworker before seeing her professionally. So that was helpful. Before being a psych NP she worked as a counselor so that helps for me. She is good at connecting dome of the dots about me where I cant.