[laxer12]

I have some pretty strong attachment issues and I'm not fully convinced that it can change. If you do research on attachment, most of the "solutions" point you in one of two directions 1) have a secure relationship with someone or 2) go to therapy. These aren't the most encouraging answers...

My current T thinks it's possible, in particular, with EMDR. We have done some EMDR but I think we'll now start really focusing on the attachment stuff with it. I'm trying to stay hopeful that things can change but I'm not fully convinced.

Last week I said that "nothing has changed" regarding my attachment issues and my T just repeated that phrase back at me. I said that my understanding of where my attachment issues come from has changed but the feelings I get from them have not. It's hard to imagine those feelings ever going away.

Has anyone here had experience resolving attachment issues in therapy? Sometimes I feel like the therapy relationship makes it more difficult.

[wheeler]

I'm hoping it does, but I'm not convinced it will.

[BudFox]

My intellectual understanding of attachment theory and my own tendencies has increased dramatically past few years. But the patterns live on. Therapy made things worse. It magnified all the deprivations and other problems in more ways than I can count. I'd put my money on real world relationships, awareness and insight practices like formal meditation, and maybe psychedelics.

[kecanoe]

Mine is getting better. I can't say for sure whether it is due to T1 (to whom I am attached) just sticking it out with me for 10 years or T3 who uses brain spotting (which is a combo of EMDR and SE). But I am better. Not cured yet but oh so much better.

[unaluna]

Yes but it takes time. Like in the olden days, when someone died, people would mourn for a year. It took going through all the seasons, all the holidays etc without the loved one. Then you were ready to move on. It probably takes longer to heal from (lifelong) damages and at the same time forming and enjoying a secure attachment.

My husband's attachment issues have gotten much better (really not much of an issue anymore remarkably). I think his improved much in part due to the therapy he and I both went through with our most recent therapist. I think the therapy, combined with the final realization that he really could believe and trust in our relationship, worked together to get him to that place. We've been married 30 years, and he didn't really trust that attachment until about 3 years ago, and the main change during that time was this therapist that worked with both of us individually and together as a couple.