[MRT6211]

Hey everyone,

I've been having a lot of issues within my therapy lately. I really need help deciding on whether or not I should leave my therapist of 7 months or stay. I'm going to give a long backstory to help, but the tl;dr = therapist all the sudden is changing our boundaries without explanation and it's making me not trust her, but I am really attached to her and don't want to leave her during this rough time in my life.

Backstory: Right before I went away on a recent vacation I was not in the best emotional state but I was keeping it together and finished that unit in school strong. The session with T before I went on vacation though I was expressing to her that I was unsure about being away from her so long and she only responded by saying over and over that I would be fine, I would have fun, and said the words (I repeated them over and over to myself so I remember them well) "who even thinks about their therapist when they're on vacation." And I know she was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't successful and it made me feel like a miserable freak who doesn't know how to have fun because I was feeling pretty depressed still while on vacation.
The day I came home, I carved the word "FREAK" into my wrist. The first of many words I would carve into my body in these past 3 weeks (and the first ever). So then when I went to see her that Monday, she showed up 10 minutes late to our appointment. I was already in a BAD state going in so I freaked out in the waiting room. Apparently it was a miscommunication where the secretary forgot to mark that I was there though. Bothered me that she never came out to check to see though because I have never, ever even been late. Anyway, I got mad/upset, we had a bad session...we had a bad week of sessions...she even added an extra one for me. So I had 3 sessions that week for only the second time ever (we normally do 2x/week). Then she told me I could never have 3 again because there had been 2 weeks now when I needed 3 sessions. This is also when I started staying past my time for appointments/having a TON of trouble leaving. Then she came back during or next session and said we were moving to 3-a-week therapy but no more staying late. Thus begins the next week (2 weeks ago now).
Day 1: I leave on time, without too much issue.
Day 2: I try to leave on time and I'm holding back tears barely as we wrap up and then one slips out as I'm trying to gather my stuff. She asks what that was about...I break down crying and tell her I'm not okay, etc. etc. but I don't tell her what I'm really thinking about (cutting). I cut after I left.
Day 3: Time to leave comes, I'm freaking out and I had told her that I cut after I left last time earlier. I'm conflicted about whether or not to tell her I know I need to cut myself again after I leave. And like a lot. I decide to let it out. She sighs, drops her pen down, and says "well now you know I can't let you leave" in a very annoyed tone. We make a half-assed safety plan she seems annoyed at me about because I didn't know what to contribute. I finally get myself to leave and I make her late for her next patient by like 5 minutes. I feel super guilty and like a piece of **** for not being able to leave. I go to my car, start hitting myself uncontrollably, and realize that I CAN'T go home. I know I will cut. I sit in my car for awhile, get the courage to call the clinic, get the secretary. She says she will leave a message with my therapist to call me back. Secretary apparently never transferred on the message before my therapist left. Therapist never called me. Bad weekend with suicial ideation/planning occurred.
Then that Tuesday I tell her about what happened during the weekend, and she lets me leave with hesitation after that time, and with promises that I will bring her all medications I have left in my house but don't take the next morning at 8am and we will have another session. I show up to that session, expecting to just iron out my feelings, and end up being blind-sighted and having her supervisor come in and make threats of sending me to crisis. Now at this point, I knew I was no longer suicidal, and also I have had some BAD and traumatizing previous experiences with crisis that I don't want to relive. They eventually let me leave, but I can no longer be on my MAOIs because I "can't be trusted with medications." Whatever though.
And then Thursday comes...our third session. Now Wednesday night I worked so freaking hard to prove myself to her. I read an entire chapter of my DBT book that I got from a previous therapist, I wrote down safety plan stuff/alternatives to cutting/etc. I wrote down everything I wanted to tell her and confess about to further gain her trust and I gave her the meds and everything. When I showed her all my hard work she was less thrilled than I thought she would be. I also offered to show her my scabbed over cuts to prove I hadn't been cutting since Saturday and she always says no to that or tells me only if I'm comfortable, but this time she was much less warm and said "yes, I need to see them." And she inspected them very closely. Freaked me out a little. Also at the beginning of sessions she right away felt like a different person to me. Not sure if it was me or her, honestly...she started to take notes almost and she has never taken notes so I was really freaked out and mentioned it and then she got annoyed and said it was fine, nvm, she won't take them. So we had a really rushed session where I didn't get to tell her everything and we didn't finish my contract we were supposed to make and then she wanted me to have strategies to get me to leave on time apparently, but I had only thought of a bunch of strategies about how to make me feel ready to leave, whereas she seemed most concerned with how to physically kick me out regardless of whether I was emotionally ready to leave or not. I kid you not...her solution was to literally open the door and then if I couldn't leave, come get someone to escort me out. I'm like: "if you do that, you WILL cause me to have an emotional breakdown, and I will NEVER be able to come back here."
And then I asked her what my friend suggested I ask: "do you think you have enough experience to help me?" And I expressed my concerns because she's only a postdoc that she might not. And she got incredibly offended and said yes and then I said "I feel like you're mad at me" and she said "well that's because you just tried to fire me!" And I was just crushed. I didn't even want to be there anymore. And then even though she promised me M/W/F sessions from now on consistently, she didn't have any availability on Monday really. So I left having a Tuesday session which is a long time when you're in this much distress. Got to my car. Cried a lot. Managed to go to school for a little bit but I can't focus AT ALL. So I go back to the parking garage and cry more and then call the clinic to see if I can move my appointment to Monday at 8am, even though that's way too early for me I had to because of emotional distress. I talk to my therapist, she asks why I wanna move it, I say I'm incredibly emotionally distressed, she says okay and then starts to leave me! I ask if we can talk for a little bit and she says no unless it's an absolute emergency!
And now let me tell you: I have ALWAYS been allowed to call her and talk to her. The the beginning of the year I was allowed to email and she would call me, and then she randomly took that away from me at some point because "it was against clinic policy" all of the sudden. And she told me to "call if I need to, I'd always rather you call than not call" literally so many times this year.
So. Many. Times.
And now all of the sudden, I get that taken away from me. So I start to flip out on the phone with her and tell her how it's not okay for her to take that away from me because it goes against her word, and I get the same spiel I keep getting over and over "you are maximizing the resources the clinic is able to give you now, the next level of treatment is a day treatment program."
And they know that's not 1. actually clinically indicated for me, 2. not possible, as I'm a full time doctorate student.
I feel like they took away all of these things that they had in place to help me all because I had a really rough last month. Like I was fine for about 6 months with 2x/week therapy and getting better and really starting to connect on a deep level with my therapist and then this stuff happened.
I feel like I'm being punished for having a rough time in life. And like they're acting like this was always their policy when it's like sudden boundaries have been put in place and without even telling me. And then they act like I'm crazy and that these were always the boundaries, which is NOT the case.
It's like everything suddenly changed and that everyone has such a negative view of me all of the sudden and is blaming me for everything and I have no one left to help me. Like my therapist got me to this terribly vulnerable place that I was scared of and then left/abandoned me/pulled back most of her services. And I have abandonment and attachment issues. That's been established many times. Deeply ingrained from my childhood, or so I've been told.

I don't want to leave her, but I feel like all of this "new clinic policy" is going to make me have to do so. I feel lost in life now. It doesn't even seem like an option to find someone...let alone start all over again...

I just don't know what to do anymore guys...I see her tomorrow at 8am but I am SO anxious about going...please help...

It does sound like she is really not experienced in dealing with your type of issues. You also sound like you are in a great deal of distress and perhaps an outpatient program might be in order for awhile until you are more stable since you seem to be needing nearly daily contact with a therapist. Have you looked into a DBT program designed more to work with your kind of issues?

[velcro003]

Wow, it sounds like you really have been going through a tough time MRT. I'm sorry

Is this a T at your school? Is she still in training/has a supervisor? What it seems to me is that maybe she got overwhelmed by the seriousness of your cutting/suicidal ideation/planning, and her supervisor probably told her she needed to document everything more carefully/maybe tighten her boundaries? I am not sure.

Can you take with you this post? Or maybe write out something similar, and bring it to your T tomorrow? Tell her that you feel really effing awful, and wanted to feel supported and not booted to a crisis team, and maybe get a clear picture on how contact should work when you feel in great emotional distress.

My sense is she is overwhelmed and not handling it well. I would try to go in tomorrow as calmly as possible and ask her if things are changing because you've had a tough time of it.

[lucozader]

I do think you should find someone better able to support you - though I understand that won't be easy. I agree that it seems like her boundaries are all over the place, and some of her behaviour seems to be unacceptably defensive. It sounds like she's causing you more harm than good at the moment. Sorry you're going through this, I hope you do find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve

[growlycat]

It's not that boundaries aren't important but she is failing to communicate that she cares about you. Showing annoyance on her part is making things worse. Can you look for another t? In my twenties I finally had a t that got this. After a little while of calling all the time and being in crisis, his caring stability finally helped me feel ok enough to have little contact between sessions. It took time and work to get there but without the right t I never would have.

I hate reading how inconvenienced and annoyed she sounds. Where is her empathy? I hope you can at least start exploring other options.

[kecanoe]

It sounds like this t is asking you to do things you can't do. Leave on time with a good attitude, no self harm, no calling in crisis. If you can't do those things then it sounds like you really have no other option than to figure something else out. What I did when I needed more sessions per week and wasn't able to do any kind of intensive program such as PHP or IOP (nothing available in my location) was to start to see more than one t. It got me through.

[ScarletPimpernel]

It does seem like you're exhausting all the resources at the clinic. Maybe it is time for outpatient or a crisis house. Have you looked into any groups in your area to get even more support?

[Merecat]

To be honest it sounds like you need more support than outpatient therapy can give you. Whether you like it or not she does need you to be able to leave on time because she has a responsibility to the other people scheduled to see her, to be on time and available to them as she is for your session time.

What did you think would happen when you were telling her about wanting to hurt yourself after leaving her? She has a duty to help you keep safe and while I can tell you didn't like what her supervisor had to say, if you aren't able to keep yourself safe after sessions you do sound like you need more specialist help. The reality is your T doesn't have unlimited time to be with you when you're struggling so much and does have other diary commitments - I doubt her feeling was about not caring so much as knowing someone else's time with her will be impacted because she needs to take care of you.

I also think that allowing phone contact out of session when someone is as fragile as you appear you've is very hard for the client and therapist alike. Theres no way she can be available to you in the way that you need and still be well enough to do her job properly. University clinics just aren't set up for that kind of work - they need to schedule clients tightly so don't have wiggle room if someone is in crisis and don't have wrap around support. Can they help you look at a day programme that might be suitable?

I don't mean that in a blaming way, you can't help what you need and I do see how for you it feels like punishment. Your rough month sounds very rough indeed and I'm not sure you can say that outpatient support isn't clinically indicated. The university service doesn't have the flexibility of structure it sounds like you need though from what you say your T has tried to be more available to you. I guess I'm wondering what you hoped for from her in terms of time and support, which might give you a better sense of whether they can actually give that to you.

[BudFox]

Sounds a bit like emotional abuse. She sounds really ignorant.

Many therapists seem ignorant. Boggles the mind. What are these people doing in this job if they don't understand how to interact with people in crisis? WTF. What is the dumbest thing you can do in response to someone who is cutting or otherwise acutely dysregulated? Respond punitively and cause more shame. Good god.

Also, few therapists seem to understand this:
“Attachment is the drive for closeness and proximity to another human being for the purpose of being taken care of, or of taking care of someone else”. —Gabor Mate MD

Separation, then, is going to be a problem, once you have established the closeness and proximity. Therapy is set up to traumatize people in this way. It ought not to be practiced if this is the result.

[Wonderfalls]

I can't imagine that you would find another therapist willing to go so beyond the boundaries they consider necessary to regulate their practice and emotional well-being. I think, as others have said, that a program designed to be more intensive would help you most while you're in such trouble.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

I can't imagine that you would find another therapist willing to go so beyond the boundaries they consider necessary to regulate their practice and emotional well-being. I think, as others have said, that a program designed to be more intensive would help you most while you're in such trouble.

Some therapists are willing to go beyond, but that's more likely if they're in private practice. If this T is in a clinic, they probably have to adhere to certain rules. And if she's under supervision, she may have told her supervisor some of how she handled things, then the supervisor told her she needed to do things differently. Hence what seemed like abrupt changes.

My T is pretty strict around time boundaries, but my marriage counselor is more loose with them. He's said he tries to end sessions in a more natural ending place, rather than based strictly on time. So he's kept us up to 10 or more minutes over. He does this for other clients, too. The downside is, he's often late to start our appointment, but I'm generally OK with that because he's also often given us extra time (not always OK with it though). However, he can't always go over, and times when I've been upset and he's had to end on time can be difficult because I sort of get used to the going over.

He also allows out of session contact, with some texting, e-mailing, and phone calls, which my T also allows. I used that contact quite frequently over the course of a few days when I was in crisis early last year. And I still will often e-mail weekly and maybe text or request a phone call once a month or two if I'm really struggling or upset with something they said or did. But my T at one point did says my e-mails were getting too long and frequent, so I had to back off from that a bit.

I get the sense with your T, that she's maybe not quite equipped to handle your level of distress and the self-harm. She may be expressing those fears as anger--which is not OK. If she doesn't think she can handle it, she should refer you out, not express anger at you or put ever-increasing boundaries in place. I think you should look for another T, whether in place of or in addition to this one (like kecanoe mentioned). Someone in private practice is likely a better option, but they also might be quite boundaried. It's really a discussion you'd have to have early on with a T. Like, "What if I don't feel safe leaving?" If your T can't keep you over time, there may be an option, say, to sit in the waiting room or to sit in an empty office there for a bit. Also check into support groups or maybe DBT groups (since you mentioned that).

Another option: I know you said you're a full-time doctoral student, but, if you're really struggling, could you take incompletes (if you're currently in classes) and finish them in the summer or take a leave of absence (if you're working on a dissertation)? And then do intensive outpatient/day program or something like that? It just sounds like you really need lots of support right now...Hope you find something that can work for you.

[Dawntreader]

So your therapist wants you to leave on time, and your response is to hurt yourself - and you're blaming the therapist?

You can't put the responsibility for keeping yourself safe from yourself on someone else. That's just not reasonable. Your contract with your therapist is for one hour. You are not entitled to more than that, no matter how distressed you are.

More than likely, your therapist and her supervisor see this behavior as a very dark kind of manipulation. That's how it comes across. Don't expect it to be tolerated for very long, by anyone.

You're obviously intelligent, so I am wondering why you're surprised by your therapist's anger and frustration. Can you really not put yourself in her shoes and see how this must feel to her? A client who refuses to leave? A client who then hurts herself in what very much looks like an effort to guilt the therapist into providing more than is allowed for?

DBT might work, but SH isn't tolerated very much in DBT either.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by Dawntreader

More than likely, your therapist and her supervisor see this behavior as a very dark kind of manipulation. That's how it comes across. Don't expect it to be tolerated for very long, by anyone. .

But shouldn't a MH professional be prepared for this sort of thing and at least not respond like an a-hole to a person in crisis? Why even get involved if you're just gonna throw a fit and get dictatorial in response to conflict?

Also seems therapy brings out these extreme reactions with regularity. It's like a machine for churning out traumatic reenactments and panic attacks and shame spirals. If these people are gonna collect large sums of cash and claim to be omniscient and boss clients around like children, they need to also be accountable for outcomes. If a therapist whips a client into a frenzy, should they be able to just point to some contrived boundary and say "stay back"? Seems idiotic at best, dangerous at worst.

Originally Posted by Dawntreader

You can't put the responsibility for keeping yourself safe from yourself on someone else. That's just not reasonable. Your contract with your therapist is for one hour. You are not entitled to more than that, no matter how distressed you are.

More than likely, your therapist and her supervisor see this behavior as a very dark kind of manipulation. That's how it comes across. Don't expect it to be tolerated for very long, by anyone.

I've done something like this before. Texted T berating myself over something she wrote online. I could have SHed, I wanted to.

Not deliberately maliciously intending to manipulate, but definitely it came across as "when you did X, I felt Y, so I did Z."

She didn't like it and confronted me on my behavior. She said she felt it was unfair to her, that I was placing responsibility onto her.

I've also had a friend react badly to me stating I needed some space away from talking to her for one night.. She SHed and told me she had done so because of me. I remember feeling incredibly stressed because the knowledge she had harmed herself out of emotional pain due to me.

I'm not a therapist though, and while I know she acted out of emotional pain, it was very guilt inducing because it meant I was responsible for causing her to hurt herself.

Having done something similar to my own therapist out of emotional pain, I can empathise with the desperation, that it's hard to leave so dysregulated.

My t now does a closing grounding exercise if needed and if I SH after session I dare not tell her.

[Merecat]

Originally Posted by BudFox

But shouldn't a MH professional be prepared for this sort of thing and at least not respond like an a-hole to a person in crisis? Why even get involved if you're just gonna throw a fit and get dictatorial in response to conflict?

Also seems therapy brings out these extreme reactions with regularity. It's like a machine for churning out traumatic reenactments and panic attacks and shame spirals. If these people are gonna collect large sums of cash and claim to be omniscient and boss clients around like children, they need to also be accountable for outcomes. If a therapist whips a client into a frenzy, should they be able to just point to some contrived boundary and say "stay back"? Seems idiotic at best, dangerous at worst.

What do you think the T should do when someone repeatedly struggles to end their session on time, becomes distressed and self harms? What happens to the next person in their diary? How much time should a T keep clear for a client who has booked an hour session and how many times a week should a T see the client before realising they need more support than can be offered by one person?

I know you have your own issues with therapists but I don't see you having any practical answers to the very real challenges for all concerned.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by Merecat

What do you think the T should do when someone repeatedly struggles to end their session on time, becomes distressed and self harms? What happens to the next person in their diary? How much time should a T keep clear for a client who has booked an hour session and how many times a week should a T see the client before realising they need more support than can be offered by one person?

I know you have your own issues with therapists but I don't see you having any practical answers to the very real challenges for all concerned.

Therapy is supposed to be a healing relationship/process. As such, step one should be first do no harm. From OP's post it appears that has been violated a number of ways. Everything else is details. The therapist appears to be scolding, punitive, insecure, short tempered.

I couldn't care less about the therapist's schedule. If they are seeing people in crisis back-to-back with no wiggle room, well that is beyond stupid.

I'm not responsible for fixing the problems in the system. I am concerned with pointing out the harm and the danger, and to have the back of people who suffer mistreatment.

If a client exits therapy in such distress that they can't function or end up SH'ing, that is a large FAILURE.

I'm not saying clients can do anything they like. But if therapists cant respond professionally and with patience and understanding, then go get another job.

What OP describes does not strike me as manipulative but rather coming from sincere pain, in part triggered BY THE PROCESS.

If the issue is that the OP needs a greater level of support than can be provided by talk therapy, then fine, but everyone just leaps over the damage being done and starts in with the advice. Not so fast. One thing at a time. Plus, the therapist should not be let off the hook just on this basis, if they have just a made a mess of it.

Seriously, please tell me what specifically about this is unreasonable.

[Merecat]

I've never said the OP is being manipulative at all, of course they're in a place of deep pain but when a T provides additional sessions, provides support at the end of the session and can't get the client to a place where they can regulate themselves and leave safely, it is time to look at other options. The OP doesn't want to change services but the clinic shes with can't provide the level of support she needs to keep safe. I don't see that as anyone's fault, more a limitation on college counselling services.

Your argument seems to be that the T should find a way to meet whatever need the client has, however it's presented and at whatever time because they started therapy with the client and I don't see how that's in any way practical. I know myself I've ended up opening something up that I had no intention to in T, and really struggled with it. It could easily have taken my T beyond her level of experience or past the limit of what she was able to offer as a service, in which case I would either need to change T or not keep trying to do that piece of work for now, I can't insist someone gives me something they aren't set up to when that's not what they agreed to in the first place.

The T shouldn't have been short with her, no, but we're all human and get it wrong sometimes - I can imagine it's very stressful to see someone hurt themselves and not be able to leave when their session is over. Being caring and profession to one client, letting them stay over their time and try to ground them will mean being unprofessional to the next client by being late or having to cancel their session altogether - which the T would also rightly be criticised for. So, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that both the client and the T are in a catch 22 because what works for one won't work for the other and will impact both the OP in the case and other clients to the service. Because it's the wrong kind of service for the clients need.

It's like me trying to by a newspaper in a butchers shop. I can complain all I like, and argue that any shop should be able to sell me a newspaper bit if it's not the right shop I'll never get what I need, no matter how good or bad the butcher is.

Originally Posted by Merecat

Being caring and profession to one client, letting them stay over their time and try to ground them will mean being unprofessional to the next client by being late or having to cancel their session altogether

Not wholly disagreeing with you hence I didn't quote your entire post. But for this section, the T could potentially take a few minutes extra to ground the client enough to be safe (may still feel absolutely ****** but safe to drive, take public transport etc) and then apologise to the next client for running over.

Or since this is has happened before, save some time towards the end of the session to wrap up and ground.

My T has done this for other clients and myself. So I've been the client having to wait 30 mins for an extremely dysregulated client (T apologised for the late start to my session stating that she had a patient who needed extra time), as well as the one causing a 30 min delays due to extreme dysregulation on my part.

Only happened once because then T took pains to do grounding exercises before the session is scheduled to end.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

So I've been the client having to wait 30 mins for an extremely dysregulated client (T apologised for the late start to my session stating that she had a patient who needed extra time), as well as the one causing a 30 min delays due to extreme dysregulation on my part.

I personally would not see a T who would do things like this. For me (and I assume I'm not the only one like this) it is very important that my session starts on time and no previous patient is allowed to intrude into it. Starting my session late because the previous patient wouldn't leave could trigger thing in me that could lead me to dysregulated states. So, no, I don't think this can be suggested as a general solution.

One general solution would be that a T would schedule extra time just in case after the sessions of a patient who has difficulty leaving. However, the natural consequence of this would be a higher fee of course.

Originally Posted by feileacan

I personally would not see a T who would do things like this. For me (and I assume I'm not the only one like this) it is very important that my session starts on time and no previous patient is allowed to intrude into it. Starting my session late because the previous patient wouldn't leave could trigger thing in me that could lead me to dysregulated states. So, no, I don't think this can be suggested as a general solution.

One general solution would be that a T would schedule extra time just in case after the sessions of a patient who has difficulty leaving. However, the natural consequence of this would be a higher fee of course.

I like the solution you suggested, because I did have a lot of difficulty manifesting in delayed bad emotional spirals when other clients intruded into my time and I feel especially bad when I intrude into the next client's time because I was unable to calm myself despite trying my best.

My T works in a public healthcare clinic and they don't allow the T or the patient to book extra time. If that was possible, I would like your solution very much because I like my sessions starting on time as I have to take time off work for therapy.

I was assuming the OP's therapist was under similar constraints of back to back clients.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I experienced one time not feeling safe enough to leave. My T didn't have a client after me, so she offered me another session right after. I had to pay for the extra time. It was fair, and it did calm me down enough to feel safe going home. HOWEVER, if my T had a client after me, she wouldn't have been able to see me or let me stay past my time. She would have instructed me to go to the nearest hospital to get help. She can only provide me the time she has available.

I think expecting the T to stay past the time is expecting too much (for this post and another). It's not fair to the T or the other clients.

[feileacan]

I wouldn't call it selfish. Saying it's selfish sort of implies that the OP (or anyone else in this situation) is consciously trying to take advantage of T, whereas I can very well imagine the feeling of being so dysregulated that leaving seems really impossible. It doesn't really matter how we call this situation. The more important question is what can be done.

I understand that the clinic where the OP's T is working has no resources to really handle such situations. If the clinic has to serve a whole university campus (or whatever, I don't know the conditions) then they really can't provide extra time. The T of course could try to handle the situation better - for instance to start grounding and preparing for leaving already in the middle of the session or basically as early as necessary to get the OP to the point where she would be able to safely leave on time. It might be necessary to start dealing with it basically from the very beginning of the session. If this doesn't help then there's really not much that can be done in that clinic. I guess the options would be then to look for more intensive programs as suggested by previous posters or find a new T who would have enough resources available to deal with such situations (which possibly would cost more to the OP).

Finally, I would like to say that I started therapy during my PhD studies and I understand how hard it can be to continue the thesis work while the difficult emotions surface in therapy. I had literally months where I basically just faked working because in reality I had zero ability to concentrate. Somehow I managed to make through it and finish my dissertation. But that was really-really difficult.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I experienced one time not feeling safe enough to leave. My T didn't have a client after me, so she offered me another session right after. I had to pay for the extra time. It was fair, and it did calm me down enough to feel safe going home. HOWEVER, if my T had a client after me, she wouldn't have been able to see me or let me stay past my time. She would have instructed me to go to the nearest hospital to get help. She can only provide me the time she has available.

I think expecting the T to stay past the time is expecting too much (for this post and another). It's not fair to the T or the other clients.

If you weren't safe to leave, how would you leave to go to the hospital?

Or would she call an ambulance pick you up from her therapist's office? Or would you have to call the ambulance yourself since she had another client waiting?

How does that work?

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by Skies

If you weren't safe to leave, how would you leave to go to the hospital?

Or would she call an ambulance pick you up from her therapist's office? Or would you have to call the ambulance yourself since she had another client waiting?

How does that work?

Not sure. I assume she calls the ambulance to pick me up.

Ex-T called the cops on me when she terminated with me, but I left as soon as I saw them. I wasn't safe to go home then either. I called my fiance and he came to me and drove behind me the whole way home and stayed with me on the phone. Once we got home, he took me to the hospital.

Originally Posted by Skies

If you weren't safe to leave, how would you leave to go to the hospital?

Or would she call an ambulance pick you up from her therapist's office? Or would you have to call the ambulance yourself since she had another client waiting?

How does that work?

I know there were times when I wasn't in good condition to leave despite my therapist having worked with me at the end of session to get me calmer and safer. In cases where he did have another client after me, he asked me to sit in another office until I felt safe to leave. Usually after a bit more time I was able to go on my own.

I have had one or two occasions where I was in such bad shape that my therapist didn't want me driving. In those cases, he called my husband who came and got me. If I had needed to go to the hospital and my husband had not been able to come get me, I would guess he would have called 911 for transport.

The OP has not come back to discuss her original post or reply. Her dysregulation sounds rather extreme, and the university clinic doesn't sound at all equipped to handle the severity of her condition. They have said as much (and demonstrated their inability in the way they have handled the situation). Hopefully she will seek out more intensive services that offer more consistent contact like an IOP program or perhaps even inpatient at this point.