[Kk222]

Does anyone have any experience of psychoanaylysis? And what the therapeutic relationship looks like?

I have experience of person centered but I'm not sure I'm into all the self disclosure and pretending to care stuff, I know some genuinely care but realistically not until they have got to know u I assume. It seems false to me.

Opinions and experiences appreciated.

[feileacan]

I am in psychoanalysis. I see my T four days a week and I have done it for the last four years (with a gap of one year meanwhile). My experience is that it is intense and that it draws out very deep stuff.

How does the therapeutic relationship look like? It's hard to describe. My T is very relational - there is no such thing that I talk and then he only occasionally formulates an interpretation. No, he is very actively engaging with me the whole session.

He does maintain an analytic attitude all the time though. There's no chit chat, he does not volunteer information about his likes or dislikes, no informal discussion about politics or current events or whatever. All exchanges are within therapeutic relationship. When I ask a question then more often than not he does not answer. Sometimes, when he thinks that the situation warrants it, he does though. By reading about other's experiences I've understood that many perceive such a stance as cold and inhuman. For me it suits well because I find it honest and I would not tolerate fake warmness.

At the same time I know I can rely on him. There's nothing that could make him take a defensive position or attack me. Probably precisely because he keeps in mind all the time that all my words and actions are always partly due to transference and thus although he takes my every word seriously he doesn't take them personally. I also know that he cares about me deeply (but we have had 500+ hours together) and that he has my best interests in his heart.

It's entirely possible though that not all analysts are like this. It's possible that some are blank slate in a bad sense, being cold and non-engaging and thinking that their only job is to utter interpretations once in a while. I'm pretty sure that anyone is able to spot such an analyst based on the initial discussion.

[Kk222]

Thank you, yeah the fakeness that is there from day 1 irritates me and I don't really have any desire , at least at the moment , to know much about her. At least if or when they do care you know it is genuine. I'm seeing a person centred T at the moment by have the opportunity to switch to psychoanalysis 3x weekly and was wondering if they were relational or blank screen.

[feileacan]

I would believe that most are relational nowadays because otherwise they would have to dismiss half a century of theoretical developments.

Although I don't think that relational and blank screen are necessarily exclusive. Blank screen would mean that the analyst keeps his own stuff out of the room to make space for your stuff and in that sense I believe most if not all analysts are blank screens. On the other hand, the main tool of the analysis is transference (and countertransference), which sort of presumes relational approach.

Anyway, if you have this opportunity and you are interested in that then I would say that give it a try and you will find yourself whether psychoanalysis is something that suits you or not.

I worked with a therapist who is a follower of the concepts and techniques in what is called "modern psychoanalysis". The core of this sub-modality of psychoanalysis is working with the client's anger and aggression. He wasn't a very good therapist so not sure if it's representative to psychoanalysts per se, but I will try to describe the elements that I think his approach involved. Initially, he was much more staying back and not interacting much, but I asked multiple times for more engagement and then he changed that style. He was definitely not very self disclosing in session though and stayed with with talking about my things or sometimes conceptual things but kept it quite down-to-earth. We had a lot of between sessions emails off and on, which he sometimes discouraged and said I should express things in session and other times said it was okay. He let me talk about whatever I wanted in sessions and often wanted me to explore how things related to my past experiences and relationships. He also did that thing not answering many of my questions and turning it into an exploration of why I was asking them. He wasn't cold at all in general but I am not someone who likes sweetness in a T, so being a bit standoffish does not bother me if otherwise I feel I have a connection with them. He encouraged free association a lot, which I can do easily but often got frustrated feeling that some sessions were aimless wandering. He never pushed me not to have goals and not to focus when I wanted though. One thing I did not like about him is that he was quite dogmatic, believing and suggesting that what his theoretical orientation states is universally true. Psychoanalysis involves a lot of focus on transference and finding meaning in it, which I like a lot, but this T had a lot of countertransference issues IMO.

I had another, eclectic T, and he was a better fit for for me in many ways, including how he talked about his experiences as they related to mine quite a lot. Sometimes it felt a bit too much like chatting with a friend than a therapy session though because of it.

I have a friend who has been in psychoanalysis for several years now and really likes her analyst. She was looking for a mother figure from start and the T apparently provides a maternal type of nurture as much as it's possible within an ethical therapy relationship. She describes it as very explorative and helpful but says that sometimes the T overinterprets things and puts them too much into a generic psychoanalytic framework.

As far as I know, psychoanalysts are just as varied as individuals as any other therapists, some more approachable and friendly than others. Also, not all of them follow the classical setting of wanting the client to go multiple times a week. I saw mine once a week.

If you have an interest in psychoanalysis, I would say go ahead and try it. You would probably get a lot of opportunities to discuss the relationship and what it means with an analyst.

My 2 long term therapists are/were psychoanalytic. With the issue you mentioned, it might be something that works for you. Therapists with this orientation tend to really give you a lot of space in which you can experience yourself and in an attachment relationship. This is one reason I go with this type, but mostly because i think it is most transformational.

It can be difficult to tolerate for some. I almost recently quit as it got to be too much for me. With the object relations school, withholding stuff you need, which you might not even notice until it's not there, is not uncommon. This can be beneficial since it forces you to work through emotions you'd otherwise not feel (ie anger), but it can be really, really intense and even harmful if the therapist is careless or isn't seeing things clearly. My therapist took the withholding stuff too far at one point thinking i had more ego strength than i did...and it turned out really bad. Another psychoanalytic therapist who I only saw for psychiatry, not therapy, was too extreme and worked in a way that flooded me with dissociated parts as he also thought I had more ego strength than I actually did. I would caution anyone to be careful as I think this therapy can be really harmful.

I've never knew of any who were eclectic. Generally i think they lean heavily towards one of two schools--relational or object relations. No one really practices "Freudian" anymore despite the stuff you read online. It can be confusing because the relational approach also takes from object relations. My therapist was even confused, insisting he was practicing relational psychoanalytic therapy with me, while i insisted he was using the object relations approach. He recently admitted he was not practicing from a relational perspective, admitted he looked it up an agreed with me. I was really surprised he told me this, but relieved, as he's been better with me ever since.

The object relations approach can also be more difficult if you have certain attachment patterns (ie need for closeness), but probably more comfortable if you have a more dismissive attachment (need for more space). Either way, this therapy has a way of drawing out emotions whether you want them to surface or not. But a decent therapist should be able to balance things for the most part. The one I had before made sure he was more supportive when needed, cutting down the exploratory stuff when it got too intense. Balance is important.

Experiencing, discussing, and understanding transference feelings is the primary mechanism of this therapy. They also really know how to dissolve your defense mechanisms. That can lead to feeling a lot of painful emotions. Too much too soon can be-well, too much; but in the end, it makes your mind work differently; in a sense, like you are a newborn.

It is a sloooow process. Another positive thing is that most of this orientation had to do years of this therapy in order to get the certification. It helps them keep their stuff out of your therapy, but nothing is 100 percent, and they can get enmeshed too.

Why not try it? You can always change your mind. Did I mention it is a slow process? People spend years in this therapy. If you are more goal oriented, it might not appeal to you. It can get very intense--emotions you don't ever recall experiencing, that take you way back to feelings from before you had the ability to talk. That has been the most intense part of this therapy for me, but also probably the most interesting. Though not goal oriented, you can do a lot with this therapy if you can tolerate it.

I have experience of person centered but I'm not sure I'm into all the self disclosure and pretending to care stuff, I know some genuinely care but realistically not until they have got to know u I assume. It seems false to me.

[Kk222]

That's really helpful, and interesting too. It's not solution focused therapy I'm looking for and I'm prepared that it might take a while just kind of wish a short go at therapy was all I needed. I'm impatient I guess ��