[hopealwayz]

I lost my T and I'm so heartbroken.

I was recently hospitalized for 5 days. My T became extremely concerned for me so he said that he would give me an emergency appointment. So the next morning, I went to the emergency appointment. While I was in the waiting room, I began to shed a few tears. So, when he told me to go into his office while he got my chart, he went and called the police and paramedics and they showed up and ambushed me in his office. They made me go to the ER. They also talked to my former psychiatrist who lied and said that I threatened him. Which was a complete lie and he had no evidence of that.

So I got admitted to the hospital and it took 5 days for them to release me because they couldn't talk to a family member.

When I got out, my T told me that he couldn't treat me because I needed a higher level of care than he could provide. He said that I wasn't ready for him yet. The way he sounded when I talked to him was that there was a possibility that he could see me in the future but I'd have to prove to him that I was stable and healthier. He said, "Prove it to me." But, for right now, he referred me somewhere else.

Then, when I emailed to see if I could schedule an appointment 3 months from now, he never responded or hasn't responded to any of my emails so finally, I wrote and asked him was that permanent or was there really a possibility of me getting to see him in the future. He never answered that so now my mind can only think the worst. I think that I've lost that T forever and I really liked him. I'm so heartbroken that I ruined things with him.

And on top of that, the hospital psychiatrist removed me from all of my medications after only a few minutes of talking to me and without getting my history and he talked to my psychiatrist that I've been with for almost a year, and my psychiatrist said that he was no longer going to give me the medications that I was on except for the ADHD medication. Now I'm suffering from anxiety, insomnia, and panic attacks really badly and it's horrible.

I'm so heartbroken and in pain.

[RainyDay107]

[rainbow8]

I'm so sorry, Hope.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I lost my T and I'm so heartbroken.

I was recently hospitalized for 5 days. My T became extremely concerned for me so he said that he would give me an emergency appointment. So the next morning, I went to the emergency appointment. While I was in the waiting room, I began to shed a few tears. So, when he told me to go into his office while he got my chart, he went and called the police and paramedics and they showed up and ambushed me in his office. They made me go to the ER. They also talked to my former psychiatrist who lied and said that I threatened him. Which was a complete lie and he had no evidence of that.

So I got admitted to the hospital and it took 5 days for them to release me because they couldn't talk to a family member.

When I got out, my T told me that he couldn't treat me because I needed a higher level of care than he could provide. He said that I wasn't ready for him yet. The way he sounded when I talked to him was that there was a possibility that he could see me in the future but I'd have to prove to him that I was stable and healthier. He said, "Prove it to me." But, for right now, he referred me somewhere else.

Then, when I emailed to see if I could schedule an appointment 3 months from now, he never responded or hasn't responded to any of my emails so finally, I wrote and asked him was that permanent or was there really a possibility of me getting to see him in the future. He never answered that so now my mind can only think the worst. I think that I've lost that T forever and I really liked him. I'm so heartbroken that I ruined things with him.

And on top of that, the hospital psychiatrist removed me from all of my medications after only a few minutes of talking to me and without getting my history and he talked to my psychiatrist that I've been with for almost a year, and my psychiatrist said that he was no longer going to give me the medications that I was on except for the ADHD medication. Now I'm suffering from anxiety, insomnia, and panic attacks really badly and it's horrible.

I'm so heartbroken and in pain.

I am really sorry to read this too hope. Are you able to get a higher level of care? Can you go to a day program?

[Moment]

I'm sorry Hope.
I know you want to keep this connection with your therapist but he seems to be trying to do something to help you in the sense that he feels you need more care than he can provide. Are you in a situation where you are going to be getting that care? Maybe a daily outpatient program? What is the plan for your care going forward?
I'm sorry you're hurting and will be keeping you in my thoughts.

[Favorite Jeans]

Do you have access to a DBT program?

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm so sorry, Hope. He shouldn't have ambushed you like that--he should have at least given you the option to go voluntarily if he was that concerned.

Did he refer you to a day program/intensive outpatient? If so, please try to go.

[hopealwayz]

I'm going back to the T that I saw briefly before this T.

I'm just confused- I stopped by his office and he just happened to be on lunch break so he let me come in the office and talk to him. From how it sounded, it seemed like he left the door open for the possibility of me coming back in the future. And when I left, I told him that I would miss him and he said, "I will be here."

He didn't give me a written termination or anything.

He said "Prove it to me."

I don't know what he meant.

He was scared that I was going to hurt myself, and he said that he's not going to let me die on his watch.

I miss him so much already. I can't believe the difference he made in my life in only 4 months.

[Myrto]

I'm so sorry this happened. But your therapist clearly cares about you since he realized that you needed a higher level of care. I mean perhaps he shouldn't have freaked out but I guess he was really concerned for you. Considering you said he left the door open for you to come back when you feel more stable, I wouldn't write him off yet.

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I'm going back to the T that I saw briefly before this T.

Is this the services your T referred you to that you mentioned in your first post on this thread? What/who was that referral for?

[hopealwayz]

He didn't tell me to go anywhere specific, he just wrote the names of 3 places down and told me some information.

Instead of going to the T that I mentioned above, a new T that I had emailed 2 weeks ago emailed me earlier. Well, he tried to email me before now but his email got lost in my email box.

I'm going to call him right now.

I'm very sorry Hope. Are you planning to try any of those 3 places/programs? It does sound like you would need more than what just seeing a T can provide and perhaps continuing to try yet another T and not more would not make much difference?

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

He didn't tell me to go anywhere specific, he just wrote the names of 3 places down and told me some information.

Instead of going to the T that I mentioned above, a new T that I had emailed 2 weeks ago emailed me earlier. Well, he tried to email me before now but his email got lost in my email box.

I'm going to call him right now.

So are those places more intensive programs to help you than what an individual therapist alone can provide?

By "prove it to me" he probably meant to encourage you to seek the level of help that you need andthat he is not abandoning you but want to help you find solutions.

[Moment]

I think your therapist you "lost" is not lost at all. He wants you to get the care you need and deserve. If he gave you three places to call, I would call all of them ASAP. Follow his advice! Get some more intensive care. And then go back to him.

I worry that if you don't follow his advice, and instead try another individual therapist, you will soon find yourself in the same spot again, heartbroken....

I hope you plan on trying one of the three therapists/programs.

[hopealwayz]

So it does sound hopeful that I may be able to go back to him in the future?

The thing that scares me is that he is avoiding my emails that asked him to clarify what he meant so that I wouldn't be confused.

I was stuck for a long time over my former psychiatrist which I'm past now.

Perhaps he does not respond to your emails because he knows you had issues around between sessions contact in the past and does not want to trigger that pattern. I think Moment has great advice. You seem to have trust in this T, so follow his suggestions.

[Nammu]

Pretty sure he's saying you can return after you go to one of those three places and work hard on becoming stable. Maybe a year or so from now. He is most likely not answering you to encourage you to call the three places he referred you to. Have you called them? What did they say?

[Salmon77]

I'm sorry all that happened, it sounds like a very tough situation, and very hard not to see the T that you liked. What kind of references did he give you? Were they for day programs or inpatient or for other therapists? Are you going to call them?

[hopealwayz]

I'm going to call them tomorrow.

[hopealwayz]

Thanks for the supportive words to everyone who posted to me. You all helped me.

[junkDNA]

Have you considered dbt

[Pain94]

I m so sorry Hope, I admire your courage to call these places. Maybe you can do this combo w a T? I agree that hes' likely giving you time to call the place.

[RainyDay107]

Thinking of you.