Therapist as Opponent

AY--that kind of behavior would drive me batty. I think it would make me want to keep pressing until she expressed a true opinion.

CE: I find a lot of natural conflict in the relationship, but not opposition in the sense that we are not working toward different goals or working against each other. More like, we're two people who sometimes disagree in our views of something or how to approach a problem, and then we messily work it out. But the underlying relationship is solid enough to withstand the turbulence.

I don't know why people would see the therapist they report seeing about 99% of the time. I don't want ex-hankster's sort or the sort others report about here. It is fine if it is what others want - but it certainly is not for me. People see therapists for all sorts of reasons.

I much prefer if therapists express their views and opinions (even if distorted) vs avoiding saying what they think. Mine described this strategy trying not to be judgmental, but I personally prefer judgment over passively listening and validating. For me, the latter often comes across as a manipulative, chameleon approach that I don't find helpful.

Yes, for me it was when my last T would NOT discuss her point of view that the rupture could not be repaired. My intuition, which I had previously largely ignored or dismissed, said it was because she actually felt judgmental toward me. Feelings that she had done insufficient work on and couldn't just talk about. So, in a way, I had become an opponent to her. And I felt that.

I have been opposing my T a lot. He has not been opposing me and if he would I would confront him. I do not let him challenge me either. At the same time I do not tolerate when he attempts to side or join with me either. Basically all these things would mean that he's trying to get too close to me and I feel that I must be the one who controls the closeness between us.