[RubyRae]

Attached:full of affection and fondness
Dependent:requiring someone or something for financial,emotional or other support

Before actually looking up the definitions of these 2 words,I would have said,and have said, I have been too attached to my therapist.But now after looking them up and thinking about it,I see nothing wrong with being 'attached' to him.

Of course I would want to see a therapist that I am fond of and have affection for.I have been to see many T's in the past that I felt no connection to at all.The therapeutic relationship is very important to me and for me,without that I don't see how I could ever make progress.

That's a far cry from being 'dependent' on him.I have other means of support,he is not the only one in my life I can turn to or reach out to.I can survive without him.

After reading through posts,I see many people try not to get attached,and don't want to and try to avoid it and even feel ashamed of it if they are.For those that are or have been in long term therapy I would say it's only natural to get attached.If someone is very kind,very attuned,non judging and accepting of you,of course anyone would want more of that and would want to be around that person and would think about them and look forward to seeing them.

My therapist seemed pleased when he realized I was attached to him and I think that's when real therapy with him began.I really tried to not like him,to not get attached but failed.I have felt ashamed for seeing him as a father figure.But now I'm thinking there's nothing wrong with it at all.

Thoughts?

[DodgersMom]

There is nothing wrong with it as long as it's not an obsession. For me, my fear of attachment to him, is the same with anyone else.....I don't want to be attached to anyone but in this case it terrifies me because I have no idea how I'd be able to end therapy without it nearly killing me.

I sadly don't have any the real life support, at least not in the sense of someone I can talk to about things on my mind. I am trying not to be attached or dependent but I have a bad feeling either or both will eventually hit me anyway

Attachment can easily turn into dependency and obsession. It can also be a healthy or unhealthy attachment. I have been attached to therapists and people in an unhealthy way. I was so attached to my last t that I allowed her disempower me and to keep me dependant on her. You can be fond of individuals but not attached to them, this is how I feel about my family but with my t it's a deep yearning a longing to be close to her. Attachment feels like a bodily need, I feel like a leech sometimes around her, this is not healthy. I want to attach but be able to unattach when it's time to go home and back to the real world. I don't know if this makes sense but I know my attachment is linked to the younger part of me that sees t as abandoning me when she isn't attached to me or when I am going home and have to separate.

Btw this article really helped me understand my relationships
https://jackkornfield.com/love-vs-attachment/

[stopdog]

With people in real life being attached to them makes sense to me. One might even need to depend upon real people from time to time. Under great duress. But the idea of doing this with a therapist, for me, makes no sense at all. The woman used to go on about me getting bonded to her. Happily she stopped that bizarreness.

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by stopdog

But the idea of doing this with a therapist, for me, makes no sense at all. \

No idea, but I feel, at least in my case, should this actually happen, its because I don't have any real life support system. It's different talking to someone in real life compared to online. Online is all I really have.

It's also the feeling of sometimes we laugh and joke around and it FEELS like we could be friends, if this wasn't the type of situation we had and that is hard for me. I tend to run into this often, people I could be friends with but the situations wont allow it.

I hope I don't bond though. I scared myself briefly last week because I was actually sad to leave therapy. Hopefully that was just a fluke