[whoknew005]

Do you think liberals work best with liberal therapists and conservatives with conservative therpists? If politics are important to you would you see a therapist who is opposite politically from you?
I'm so torn my therapist who i've seen for 2 years is opposite from me. I don't feel right about staying or leaving.

[atisketatasket]

It's up to the individual what works best for them, isn't it? I think what matters in deciding is whether you otherwise work well with this therapist and if they have helped you to date. Unless their views mean they would act upon them in such a way as to harm your therapy (I mean action here, not just having opinions) or if politics is one of the issues you are in therapy for.

[stopdog]

If it bothered me then I would change therapists. I don't really care what their politics are because politics are not that important to me, but I also don't want to know that much about what a therapist does in their real life - I would be more concerned if the therapist was letting their political leanings be known.

[itjustis]

Your T's political views should not get in the way of your therapy.
If you feel uncomfortable then maybe you could find a T who has the same political beliefs as you.

I don't personally care what my Ts political views are. What would bother me, however, is if those views were brought up by the T. I personally wouldn't bring them up. It's important to me; I am very politically minded, but I'm not paying a professional to discuss politics.

[whoknew005]

My therapist has been very helpful. I found out indirectly his views. It's more that i'm paying him a lot of money. I want to give my money to someone who votes to care about the same issues I care about....

[Oliviab]

While I agree that Ts should be able to keep their politics out of the room, and I don't think it matters unless it matter to you, it matters to me a great deal. Not the politics part, but the underlying beliefs part. I need to work with someone who shares certain general, broad-based beliefs about humanity, the nature of humans, and our roles and responsibilities as members of the community. If I knew my T voted a certain way in last election, I could not work with him (that is not to say he would need to vote as I did, but if he had voted for one particular candidate, that would have been the end of our therapeutic alliance).

I asked my T early on about his spiritual and political beliefs and we have open conversations about such things, because I have to feel like I "know" him on some level in order to do the deep and intense kind of work we are doing (I have worked with other Ts where we did not discuss such things, but it was different work).

In short, I think it matters if and only if it matters to you.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by whoknew005

My therapist has been very helpful. I found out indirectly his views. It's more that i'm paying him a lot of money. I want to give my money to someone who votes to care about the same issues I care about....

I can definitely understand this. I have a hard time, in general, with people who I feel don't mesh with my views.

I do also agree, tho, that the politics shouldn't affect the therapy. The office I go to specializes in issues for LGBT but that is not all they do. It is also a low income, sliding scale place. So, most of, if not all, the Ts that work there are naturally more liberal leaning. I would say when issues like gender or something is a primary focus, sometimes political views do need to at least agree somewhat.

Most importantly, tho, is what you feel is right for you. Are you happy with the level of care you have gotten? Are you able to being it up with your T? Possibly, they agree with you on those issues but other issues outweigh their choice... politics is never all one or the other. Usually, people agree with some stuff and not other stuff...

I would ask why it's important for you that the professional you're working with holds the same values that you do. If it doesn't affect their work, then why does it matter what they do in their free time? I'm not asking to be flippant, but perhaps there's something there worth exploring.

I grew up as a liberal in a deeply conservative area, so I'm used to most people feeling differently than I do in this realm. Probably influences my ambivalence here

[Salmon77]

In general--if the T has been good and helpful and you have felt good about the relationship for the past two years, I think it's worth trying to agree to disagree on some issues and just let it go.

That said, I would have trouble respecting certain voting choices.

[atisketatasket]

I agree with daisy - maybe it would be interesting to ask yourself some more questions. You have a therapist with whom you've been working well for a couple of years, why does this matter enough that you are considering leaving? Is it the politics, or is it something more?

And as cofc says, political views are not all that straightforward, they're more like a smorgasbord for most people, and who you vote for is often a tradeoff depending on what issues matter to you. I would say I do not vote with the party I'm registered with at least 50% of the time. I vote for candidates from the other major party too, and independents/third parties. So I don't think you can assume your therapist votes the way he does because he doesn't care for the same issues you care about (he could be voting for some other issue) - or even that he votes that way consistently.

Anyway, it sounds like a tough decision. I wish you luck.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I personally don't understand. It seems very judgmental. My tattoo artist has different political beliefs as I do. It doesn't stop me from working with him. Even my dad has different political beliefs. Should I disown my dad? Not buy him dinner? No. We all have our differences. You shouldn't judge people based on their beliefs unless it directly affects you.

And why does it matter where he spends his money? Not all liberals donate their money or help with the needy or poor.

My therapists political views sometimes have matched mine and sometimes have not, but honestly, it wasn't something that came up in therapy so it was a non-issue. How did I know their views if we didn't discuss them? Lots of time and just getting to know each other bit by bit. I didn't discuss politics in relation to what I was working on in therapy, so it honestly didn't matter to me what their views were.

I've learned long ago that I can have different political views than other people and still think quite highly of them. It seems a rather narrow way of living for me to write people off completely because their political views differ from my own. I also try not to stereotype people of an particular political view as ALL being such and such or NEVER doing such and such. It simply isn't that black and white.

[Pennster]

Well, we are living in really polarized times, and some people on both sides are feeling under threat, so it makes sense to me that for some more politically-minded and sensitive people this would come up as an issue.

My therapist and I share political views, and as politics is very important to me, I regard this as a positive aspect of our relationship. I do a lot of work involving political issues so it comes up a lot, and as my therapist is very transparent he has shared a little bit about his views. And both of us have political views deeply rooted in our values and who we are as people.

I love several people who really believe in the other side, and I can understand their reasoning, but it still makes total sense to me that some people would find it difficult to work with a therapist who doesn't share political views. Many of our political divisions cut right at the heart of our humanity, with issues coming up around faith, race, gender, sexuality, safety, belonging, and more. If someone is struggling with these things and also feels sensitive to the political aspects of them, surely it is understandable that one might be uncomfortable exploring them with someone who has voted for and supports a different type of society than one might hope for?

[sabby]

Please remember that posting specific political views and getting into conversations discussing those views is not within our posting guidelines.

You may discuss the differences between your views and your T's views and how that may affect your therapy but please do not get into specifics.

Also, please remember that attacking another member for their opinion is not appropriate and if you need to say something to them, please do it via pm in an appropriate manner. Let's not stray from the OP's basic subject matter.

Thanks!

[markmcc21]

I'm almost certain my t has different political views from me, but he's never said anything expressly to confirm it. I do know he's very religious and I am not. This came up in the context of whether I wanted a religious element to my therapy. It doesn't interfere. I don't care so long as the job is being done.

[ruh roh]

To the OP's point, yes, I would leave a therapist like the one you describe. Therapy should be one place you feel safe to talk. Goodness knows there are few places where that's possible. In my experience, certain types of people cannot bear to hear something opposing them and they will try to shut you down, so even if your therapist tries to remain neutral, who knows what's going on underneath. I had a therapist with strong religious views and I couldn't see them either. I think the main thing is...do you feel safe being open with this person? If not, I would leave and find another.

[atisketatasket]

OP - can you think of something else you are vehemently for/against and replace the political sentiments with it? Like say you don't think people should be divorced, because it's giving up or breaking vows or whatever, but you find out your therapist is on his third wife? Would you feel the same way?

Because it's coming across (to me anyway) as maybe less about politics itself and more about "I found out something unexpected about this person I thought I knew and with whom I have worked for a while"? It just happens that what you found out was political, and you are having to reevaluate your views of your therapist as a person.

I say this because you seem so ambivalent - you say he has been very helpful, you don't seem to feel threatened or unsafe, but you can't seem to square this new information with who you thought he was and, actually, who you thought you were.

[ruh roh]

If it's not benign information, though (like political affiliation), it's worth asking oneself about the therapist's values. For example--and this is just an example— I would ask myself if could I see a therapist who supports someone who openly admitted to sexually assaulting women. For me, that's a deal breaker. For your situation with this therapist, maybe it's more of a discomfort and may depend on your own history. I also couldn't see a therapist who is homophobic, so if I found that out, I would leave. I think there are a lot of reasons to question whether or not a therapist is the right one for any particular person.

[elisewin]

I share same politic views than my T and I absolutely like the fact. I think I would have hard hard times if she represented total opposite views. I am slightly into politics myself and the way I know about my T's views is because I have told her mine and about my activities and then she has disclosed that she agrees with me there and we have talked about potitics. I was very natural situation and my T is not secretative anyway. I guess if I had told her I am for something else, she wouldn't have shared her views as I think it could be damaging to the relationship to know your T shares a complete different set of values.

And I guess if one can continue with a T thinking very differently depends on how big of a role these things disagreed with plays in life. If they can be put aside and the T is helpful, then the political views maybe can be put aside and keep working together. But if there is a "dealbreaker" among the things disagreed, it might be be a bad combo.

[whoknew005]

thank you everyone who responded. Everyone was increasingly insightful and I took something from each of you. I'm just too sapped of energy to respond to everyone. I feel so deceived by my therapist. I'm depressed over it.