Do you think your T is comfortable around you? State what "comfortable" means to you.

I don't think my T is comfortable around me because she seems to keep her distance from me. (She sits further away from me than all of my other therapists have. Like, she sits an additional 2-3 feet further away.) She also looks a bit uneasy at times, although I could be totally misinterpreting her body language.

I think this "uneasiness" is due to my unpredictable nature. Well, I'm normally pretty relaxed etc, but sometimes I have these "flare ups" due to medication changes or plain ol' mood episodes. In fact, I was VERY agitated recently (and she has never seen me so severely agitated in my life) and I think that sudden agitation freaked her out... because it's the type of agitation you get when you're about to get violent. (I would never get violent though. I'm just saying it's that bad of an agitation and I think she realized it.) And then I've had random episodes of depression in front of her (but fortunately no mania). So I guess her discomfort is justified? I did tell her a while back that I was violent before I started medication treatment.

[velcro003]

Mine does, but I am extremely non-threatening as in I am small, and my demeanor is generally in the "low" category. She has heard stories of how I go ape-shite crazy on myself when my anger becomes SO overwhelming that a physical response is necessary, and that is always towards myself, and always alone, even if it happens at work (which is very rare).

She has told me that I could throw pillows about the room, and even brought out one of those foam bat thingy-s, but I would never do that.

[anais_anais]

Originally Posted by velcro003

Mine does, but I am extremely non-threatening as in I am small, and my demeanor is generally in the "low" category. She has heard stories of how I go ape-shite crazy on myself when my anger becomes SO overwhelming that a physical response is necessary, and that is always towards myself, and always alone, even if it happens at work (which is very rare).

She has told me that I could throw pillows about the room, and even brought out one of those foam bat thingy-s, but I would never do that.

M does that too, with the bat! I've never taken him up on it. I can throw him across the room but hitting him with a bat seems to be a boundary of mine.

In general, both L and M seem far more comfortable with me than I am with them. Though I've certainly become more comfortable over time.

[stopdog]

I hope not.

Comfortable being at ease, feel free or able to be yourself I suppose. Positive vibes included as opposed to negative vibes.

This one never told me and I am not sure. Other Ts said they were comfortable around me or enjoyed working with me. Yet another seemed scared of me although he didn't state that.

Most people irl told me they are comfortable around me, Im easy to talk with, i am easy to get along with, etc. people used to disclosed their secrets to me or asked for advice, tell me all their problems, fell in love with me, 99% of married ones hit on me or told me they loved me, and i listened with interest to many life stories, especially when working certain jobs. Others were intimidated by me or scared to approach me.

Now that I have been depressed my aura changed, and I no longer think people are interested in being around me as it no longer makes people comfortable. My T never knew me before the change in mood.

Interesting topic. Trying to be avoidant so coming here tonight.

[atisketatasket]

I don't know that I want them to be comfortable around me. I think if they get comfortable they are more likely to screw up. I would expect their comfort level to go up over time.

But to me being comfortable in any relationship means being able to be yourself. Would that be a good thing for a therapist to do?

[Amyjay]

My T is "kind of" comfortable around me. i think I challenge her a bit, not that I am confrontational but sometimes she feels unsure of herself or seems to worry that she doesn't have the right training.

[88Butterfly88]

No, she's probably not comfortable around me. She let me play with her stress ball but said "just don't throw it at me". Why the heck would I throw something at her?

[toomanycats]

I think my T is somewhat comfortable and somewhat unsure.
We're still relatively new to one another -- still working things out about how we'll work, interact, etc.
I get the feeling he is sometimes unsure -- especially if I shut down or have expressed big things like "I don't want to be alive."
But, at the same time, I don't feel like he is super anxious around me or anything.

[DodgersMom]

yes for sure, i often feel more like "friends" around him, even though we aren't but i just feel like on both our ends, there is that level of comfort, he is fine with me teasing him too.

She seems to be. Even when we are in a restaurant or at the lake she laughs a lot and is at ease. Perhaps because we have spent so much time together.

[Erebos]

Mine definitely is we often have very lively debates during session, he says working with me is a breath of fresh air, and most definitely has no problem showing he is pleased to see me when I finally turn up to an appointment.

[nottrustin]

I believe she is. She tells me she enjoys working with me. She is very selective which clients she saw on her home office vs her enterprise space. I have been to her home outside of office hours sue to a "business" relationship with children and once she asked me if I wanted to so some thing with her again outside of our professional relationship. She apologized when I said something. She said that we are so comfort me with each other that she has to remind herself we aren't friends be because of how we met. HD as met under different circumstances we would be friends. But we have been working together for a long time

The second one definitely is, we tend to have intense interactions in a friendly tone even if discussing something disturbing.

The first one, I am not sure, I think sometimes he is, other time probably less so. I rarely feel the kind of effortless, enjoyable connection with him than with the other one. He often tells me that I do not discuss negative feelings and anger enough, but when I did, he tended to become defensive and arrogant, so his attitude is not helping me to do that more.

[kecanoe]

I would call them focused more than comfortable.

The distance thing is interesting. I've had ts sit at various distances from me. I generally choose the chair closest to them, but in different t's offices, the space between the closest chairs has varied. T1 has two offices. In one, we sit pretty close. Maybe 3-4 feet between us. In his other office, the distance is twice as far. Once I said something about him sitting so far away in the far-away office, and he seemed surprised that I even noticed it. Even when I asked him to sit closer, he did not come as close as we normally sit in the close-office.

[Mike_J]

She is very relaxed during our sessions, and she is comfortable enough to get frustrated with me at times and to let that show.

[junkDNA]

yes i believe he is.he sings and dances, acts goofy. throws things at me. manspreads. just is able to be his dorky self

[Argonautomobile]

I used to think my T was uncomfortable around me. In retrospect, this may have been because I was so twitchy and hypervigilant around him. As if it's contagious or something.

Can you ask your T about this?

[1stepatatime]

She seems very comfortable around me. Because she incorporates bioenergetics into her therapy she frequently will ask me if I want to beat this big foam cube thing that she has or use a tennis racket and beat a pillow. I feel weird doing that though

[UglyDucky]

I voted "yes" bc I think HS knows me well enough now, not much would make him uncomfortable. Too, he asks pointed questions now, such as, "Did you miss me?" when he's been gone. Ts don't typically ask those things unless they know their clients won't turn such questions into a love issue. He says I'm sometimes hard to read, but that's not a comfort thing between us.

No, ex t wasn't. She sat really far away from me and went ape **** on me and said she didn't trust me because I always become the victim and that would happen between us. She didn't trust me and I didn't trust her. We were never comfortable around each other. New t is better. We are building a trust and she stays back and checks how close she can come. This week before I left we were very close, if that was ex t I would have moved away from her.