Suicidal thoughts not taken seriously

Does anyone else ever feel their T doesn't take their suicidal thoughts seriously? I feel like my T doesn't think I'm REALLY suicidal because I've had these thoughts for years and never attempted. For example, we had a session this week where I was very suicidal and couldn't promise to not act on it before our next session. So he suggested I come in sooner (today), and I promised I would stay safe til today. Well now I am sick today so I had to cancel, but he didn't ask me about safety at all. So I'm highly suicidal with no promises to anyone to stay safe. I know that I'm completely my own responsibility, but I felt maybe he should have asked if I can be safe? I don't know. Can anyone relate?

Yes, I can so much relate.
My T wouldn't do anything if I said I'm thinking now to kill myself...Probably he thinks that because I have BPD I'm just exaggerating.
But him not reacting to my distress, my SH and suicidal thoughts makes me even more suicidal and self harming. I feel the need to see him react, he doesn't, it hurts, and I'm getting even more self destructive...

Sorry you are going through this

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and that your T didn't recognize that. I do not talk to my T about suicidal feelings at all.

This exactly.
But then the problem is that I can't tell him that him not taking it seriously is making me feel more suicidal, because that seems... manipulative? I don't like the thought that he might think I'm just being dramatic or attention-seeking. I'm so sorry you're going through this also, I wish I could help

Ive got the opposite problem! Last year i experienced a catastrophic combination- i was put on asthma medication called Monteluksat that has a side effect of causing suicidal ideation when mixed with alcohol. (I like my alcohol) At the same time i was seeing a psychopathic T who was sexually, physically, and psychologically torturing me. I had told him about the possible side effects and had asked him to keep a check on things so i could come off the medication if need be. Instead he systematically set about trying to get me to kill myself. After about 8 months as the full reality of his crimes set in i did half heartedly try to commit suicide. It was absolutely a cry for help. I thought if people (hospital and ambulance) saw how much i was hurting they would take his crimes seriously and help me. Unfortunately they didnt believe me, decided i was psychotic and making the whole thing up and tried to section me. The whole experience was incredibly traumatizing and there is no doubt i have issues now. But as soon as i remembered about the medication side effects i stopped taking it and havent felt suicidal since. I sure dont know how to live with what he did to me, and sometimes i wonder if death would be easier- but i dont want to die, i just dont know how to live with it all. And to be fair im in a world of derealization 96% of the time anyway where i actually feel perfectly fine. Its only when it feels real that i waver and im quite content just trying to get on with my life. Unfortunately im now surrounded by people who know i wasnt lying about his crimes but still seem to think im some kind of ticking suicidal time bomb. They dont seem to understand that its my strength of will to survive that has seen me through all of this and that im an advocate for dissociation!

I'm sorry you're feeling highly suicidal. This is distressing to hear. Can you promise us you'll stay safe, since your T didn't follow up about your safety? Are you safe now? Can you seek emergency help if you are not?

Please hang in there.

I'm so sorry your T abused you and put you through so many awful things. It sounds like the people in your life don't fully understand where you're at now. You must be really strong to have made it through all this

I hope you are safe. I've never called a suicide hotline, but it may be an option if your T isn't taking you seriously.

I've experienced the exact same thing - I tell him I'm thinking about it all the time, and he does nothing. The only time he has was when I was drinking and crying to him on the phone about how it would be best for my family if I'm gone. Then he scheduled me to come in the next day. Looking back, I probably should have been in the hospital at that point. He's a psychologist and I need to just trust that he understands what's going on most of the time, but I still feel neglected when he doesn't take my suicidal thoughts seriously.

Thank you it helps to know someone cares. I'm safe right now. If I feel like I can't hang on I'll probably contact my T :/

I'm sorry your T responded similarly, it can be so invalidating and frustrating. I get why you'd feel neglected, I feel the same way right now. Like if my T isn't concerned about my suicidality, I must be overreacting then?
I've called suicide hotlines a few times with different results. Sometimes it helps calm me down, but I find that it's risky to call because if it doesn't help then I feel even more suicidal

Thank you

it wasnt just ex T that hurt me though. Every single damn person- professionals, family, friends- i was let down by all of them and that has really compounded the damage done.

You're right, they really don't understand where I'm at. They've gone to extraordinary lengths to avoid just sitting down and asking me what they want to know. The thing is, that's all I really want and need. No one will just be up front, open and honest with me and if they want to rebuild any kind of trust it can and must start with that.

It's horrible when your sense of self worth is so fragile, and then those who are supposed to help don't act like you're valuable enough to take seriously. I totally understand. All I can say is that you are immeasurably valuable no matter what.

Thank you! You are also worth so much
Can I ask your opinion.. and anyone else's.. do you think when I see my T next I should ask him why he didn't ask me about safety for the rest of this week?

Maybe you should. I've wondered about how therapists assess suicidal comments. But I know it would feel weird to ask. I'm paranoid mine would think I'm trying to learn how to manipulate him (and maybe yeah part of me might tuck that info away for later). But I really do wonder how serious is serious enough to alarm him? Does he know something I don't? I think it's an appropriate thing to ask.

I have read that therapists are able to determine what type of suicidal threat you are usually based on what's wrong with you. With some people it's merely a threat usually for attention seeking purposes. With others depending on their situation they're actually at a higher risk of following through with it. The article explained how therapist generally know how to judge which group their client falls into while they always have to take it seriously, through their experience they judge the risk factor. So if you're not the type of person that is high risk for following through they don't get as concerned. I am not making any judgment on the case in hand for this thread just simply responding to the previous reply and stating what I read in an article.

My suicidal thoughts aren't taken seriously by my regular T as well, especially because I don't have plans, means or intent. :/

Basically they assess on a continuum.

My t wasn't too concerned as long as I was talking about it. I think she realized that if I was talking about it, then I still had hope and wouldn't likely follow thru. When I stopped talking about it, plus I think my demeanor changed a bit too, and then I stopped coming to therapy is when she got more concerned. I suppose she knew me and knew I wouldn't discuss it if I was serious bc I wouldn't want to be stopped. Sorry, I know it hurts when you are in a desperate place and the t doesn't seem to get that.

My therapist and pdoc took me seriously, but the level of caution and intervention varied depending on if it was a) just thoughts, b) whether those thoughts were becoming consuming, c) whether I had a plan, or d) whether I had taken action -- in that order.

As they "learned" me, they started becoming concerned as they saw me progress from b to c because I tended to become very impulsive; I could be considered safe while in their office but several hours later could progress to taking action.

Yes, I think you could ask. I would guess that he wasn't all that concerned about you being in danger if you don't have a history of suicide attempts. The response you will probably get is that if you are not feeling safe, give him a call even if you don't have an appointment.

Thank you for all these helpful responses. Here's an update for anyone interested - I shared exactly how I felt (meaning how suicidal I was) with my T and was totally honest. He had me go to the hospital, but I also agreed it was necessary at that point. Stayed there a few days and now I'm home