[tosca203]

I am leaving on vacation for two weeks. My last session was yesterday. My therapist didn't even seem to remember I was going away until I reminded him. This is despite my emailing him about vacation dates a month in advance, and telling him in previous sessions.

Much has been written on therapist vacations, but little on client vacations. I'm feeling like we didn't leave therapy on a good note in my last session. I would have liked some more closure since it'll now be 3 weeks until I get a chance to talk with him and resolve some things that came up.

I've also started thinking about terminating therapy over the past few weeks. I'm not sure if I'm benefiting from it. That said, I still think it's worth a few more sessions and I plan to bring this up in my next session. I'm not ready to go yet.

Here's my question. I have some negative feelings towards my therapist and towards therapy right now, but that doesn't take away some of ther good things that have happened in therapy. To get my own closure, I was thinking of emailing a quick thank you note to my therapist telling him about a couple of things I found particularly useful. I realize I should have done this in person, but given that my opportunity to do this pre-vacation has passed, is this appropriate or valuable? I'd like to take off on a more positive note than we left it in session.

[Ellahmae]

I would.

I think an email would be nice.
I cannot stand ever feeling like things left on a negative note. I always email or leave a voice mail if that happens.

[Erebos]

Often the negative stuff in therapy is the stuff we really need to work on.
Can't advise on the vacation thing as i rarely bother going to half my appointments so it's not unusual for me to not see my pdoc for a month.

[Moment]

Sure, go for it!
I agree with you about the lack of attention to client vacations. I have always generally handled my therapist's vacations fine as he gives me plenty of notice. It was the session before the first time *I* went on vacation that I was a wreck. In fact, it was so bad that I called him and asked for another session before I went on vacation. And I went back and we cleared up some misunderstandings and I left for vacation feeling more solid.
Another time when we were going to be apart for awhile I called his voice mail and told him I'd forgot to tell him that I would miss him.
I felt a lot better both times. I think you'll feel better if you send the email.

And, once you get back, explore those negative feelings!

[kecanoe]

I would not hesitate to contact your t since you don't like how things were left. 3 weeks is a long time. There were vacations where I had phone sessions every day. I don't need that now, but I would not want to leave on a bad note.

[Sarmas]

I would send an email.

[tosca203]

Ok so following up on this, I did write an email thanking him for a few things and saying that I look forward to seeing him when I get back. I felt good sending it, but now I'm starting to wonder if/when he's going to write back. I purposely wrote the email in a way that would not require a response. However, now I feel like a simple acknowledgement would be nice. It has been over 24hrs. I'm also wondering about any subconscious motivations I had behind sending that email - was I trying to test him in some way, to see if he cares? I think this is likely.

Anyway, just venting and trying not to obsess too much. Tomorrow, I'll be more busy with fun vacation stuff and I'm sure that will distract me. Thank you for your support!

[Sarmas]

If your t accepts emails then I would send a quick email with a thanks and a see you when I get back. I would probably mention things to work on when you come back for
Vacation. Then you're a leaving on a good note, you seem appreciative, and you're involved in your therpeutic work. keep in mind that session is about you and your feelings not your Ts.

Originally Posted by WorriedWell23

I purposely wrote the email in a way that would not require a response. However, now I feel like a simple acknowledgement would be nice. It has been over 24hrs. I'm also wondering about any subconscious motivations I had behind sending that email - was I trying to test him in some way, to see if he cares? I think this is likely.

You have to ask for what you need. If your email didn't ask for a response, it is likely you may not get one. Therapists tend to want you to advocate for yourself. It's all part of learning to communicate directly.

[luvnola]

My t will not respond to an email or phone call unless I ask her to respond, so I wouldn't read anything in to it if you don't get a response (like t doesn't like me or he'd respond).

About vacations, personally I've never had issues with either t or my own vacation time. I don't think I've ever thought about it, since it doesn't bother me.