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Member
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 273
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#1
I tend to be on the more personal side and have a really hard time opening up to anyone, so I still keep lots of things from my T that I probably should bring up but haven't had the courage or the right timing for it. Do you guys do this too? What kinda of things do you keep from them and why?
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annielovesbacon
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annielovesbacon
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 2,422
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#2
With regularity. Hard to say things to T that I can't even admit to myself.
__________________ "Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of their marvels." - Francisco de Goya |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Dresser Wisconsin
Posts: 1,230
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#3
I share everything
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2016
Location: Europa
Posts: 1,169
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#4
I keep lots of things. Most of my thoughts, actually.
I have problems with my sexuality but I basically never talk to him about it, mostly because I don't really know what to talk about it because there is some related stuff I don't want to talk about (feels too exposing) but other than that there isn't anything to talk about it. I don't talk about my friends or the people I relate to. When I talk to people then I talk about them generally and then I think about them generally - a grey faceless mass of people. I don't talk about anyone in particular. I don't tell who are these people I relate to and how I relate to them, so he basically has no idea about this part of my life. I mostly censor out any spontaneous thought that occurs to me during session, just because ... I can? I feel the need to contemplate each thought first on my own and then this thought is already thought and I don't feel like saying it. So yeah, I actually do keep many things from my T. He has admitted that after four years of intensive therapy he still has very hard time getting me because I just don't give him enough information. I know it but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it because I have operated on this level of privacy from the very young age and I'm just so used to it. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,639
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#5
I tell my T everything. I might not tell her right away. Sometimes, like if something she said bothers me, it takes awhile for me to process. I'll then usually tell her in an email.
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#6
I can't say that I do. That doesn't mean he knows everything either; not everything is particularly relevant to what I am there. But if it is relevant, I tell him about it. Is that easy? Not always; sometimes it feels impossible but I do it anyway. I made a promise to myself that I was going to walk through whatever fire I had to walk through to get to the other side. That meant talking about very difficult, sometimes embarrassing, often terrify and painful things. But for me, that is what I needed to do, so I bit the bullet and did it. My therapists knew when I was struggling with talking and they were patient and found ways to help me feel safe saying whatever it was I needed to get out.
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SoConfused623
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#7
I share everything.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 596
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#8
I share everything except I cant imagine talking about our relationship and how i feel about her. I think of her way too much and just dont think i could ever discuss it with her. My old blank slate T and i had lots of discussions about our relationship and how we interacted with one another.
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: usa
Posts: 537
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#9
some things i think are too risky to say so i dont but mostly i do. i do censor my thoughts a lot though
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
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#10
I used to try and explain to the woman certain things. She proved unworthy. Now I tell her only about dogs and grief. The rest simply was not worth how horrible she was when I tried. There are a good number of things that are simply not relevant to why I saw a therapist - so those are also left out. The funny thing about those things is that sometimes I mention something about them - like attending a drum healing night at my yoga place - she is like "I did not know you did ..." like she is surprised she did not know - my response is there is a lot about me you don't know - most things you don't know. Then she gets all huffy "well blah blah but I guess I don't know you" Me "yep you don't"
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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annielovesbacon, ShaggyChic_1201
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Member
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 273
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#11
I really keep things to myself in my personal life, so it's so hard to open up when I'm not used to it. I can only be honest about my feelings after a few drinks (unhealthy, i know) so unless I decide to go see my T drunk, i think it'll be a while until I really let some things out
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annielovesbacon
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860
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#12
I keep many things from my T including my whereabouts and what I do and don't do. I'm very generalized. When I speak there's not so much detail. At one point I was trying to become more open but it's a trust thing for me. I have to make sure that my T is really listening and consistent with it. If I feel that I don't have her full undivided attention while in session then I can't share my deepest trust. I feel like a fool doing so. Her behavior recently caused me to pull away.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,527
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#13
I have a very hard time opening up to my T. It's kind of a catch-22 situation: I can't open up until I have known someone for a long time, but if I go too long without telling T something it feels like I just shouldn't say anything for fear of looking like a liar, I guess.
That said, there are many things I don't tell T just because they're not relevant to therapy and so I don't want to spend my precious time with her on them. I don't think I've ever spoken to her about relationships, church, my sexuality, etc... but if one or some of those things began either to affect me or become affected by my mental illness then I would try to bring it up if I could. __________________ stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#14
I keep many things from my therapist. I keep many things from myself.
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annielovesbacon
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annielovesbacon
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
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#15
I probably keep some stuff from my T, but definitely much less than I used to. I experimented with sharing very small things that made me uncomfortable to talk about, and then when that went okay, I gradually worked toward sharing bigger, scarier things. That process took months, though.
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ShaggyChic_1201
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
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#16
I have,, yes.
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#17
Yes, there isn't time to cover everything.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: Sweden
Posts: 54
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#18
I try not to, but some things are just to hard to talk about.
__________________ Sorry for my typos and grammar errors. I'm not native english-speaking. Suffers from severe depression, GAD, EDNOS and probably ADD. |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 390
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#19
I do not tell my T everything. There are just certain things that I like to keep to myself. I don't think my T needs to know everything. Not everything is relevant either.
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: NY
Posts: 24
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#20
I don't think I've intentionally kept anything from my T, but there are also lots of things we haven't discussed mainly because we haven't been doing this long enough to cover all topics. For example, we haven't gotten into anything re: romantic relationships/sex/sexuality. I really don't know how I'll react to these conversations.
Oh, and I haven't fully disclosed how much I think about him/therapy in between sessions. Nothing too racy or exciting, but I do get obsessive (hence why I am here, posting on discussion boards). I've hinted at it, but I think I need to be more explicit. |
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