[mindmechanic]

My therapist is on vacation for a week. She will be back over the weekend, and will be having therapy next week. And she will be leaving again for vacation the following week. When she informed me of her vacation plans, she didn't inform me that our sessions needed to be rescheduled the week when she comes back. We meet twice a week. Was it stupid of me to think that the clinic would be open on 4th of July? Had I not texted to confirm, I would have showed up for our appointment next Tuesday. When I texted her about 4th of July, she also said that she had to reschedule our second appointment of the week because her flight leaves that evening, so she would have to meet at an earlier time.

I don't feel abandoned because she's going away on vacation. It does bother me that she is leaving, coming back, and then leaving again. It's quite disruptive. But I expected and would have appreciated it if she had informed me earlier that our regular session times would have to be rescheduled the week when she is back from vacation.

Is it reasonable for me to expect that it's the professional way to handle it? Was she actually going to text me on Monday after returning from her vacation that we won't have therapy on 4th of July, and that our second session of the week would have to be rescheduled? She could have conveniently let me know earlier when she informed me about her vacation plans. This seems very sloppy and unprofessional. And is she not aware of how it's important to maintain therapy structure and consistency, and that any changes should be brought up to clients sensitively?

As some of you already know from my earlier thread (I had to delete it), she only just realized after so many months that I had been unknowingly been underpaying her. I hand her cash directly from my hand to her hand every week, and she's only realizing it now.

I have been with this therapist for a year and a half now. She has always been reliable. I let her in. Where is all this sloppiness coming from? Am I being ana| retentive about wishing that as a professional, she should have informed me earlier of the schedule changes during the week when she is back? Am I stupid for thinking that there is therapy 4th of July? Is it obvious that there is not therapy 4th of July therefore she didn't feel a need to inform me until I asked?

[feileacan]

I think it is very reasonable to expect that the T takes care of the schedule and announces any changes as soon as possible. I myself probably wouldn't take these things lightly either and would be very annoyed. Fortunately, my T announces his vacations and free days due to public holidays a year in advance and any other changes in schedule could happen only due to emergency, which hasn't happened during the four years I've seen him. So, to my mind you are not too rigid but just expecting reasonable planning ahead and stability.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I've talked to my T about this. She will tell as soon as she knows about any vacations/conferences that effect my sessions or when she will be without her phone. It's important because she is part of my emergency plan.

[mindmechanic]

How do I confront her about it? She seems completely oblivious to it, which worries me because as a therapist, I would hope that she would understand how sensitive this is. No apologies whatsoever in her texts.

[BonnieJean]

I know T's who can be pretty flaky when it comes to foreseeing scheduling like that. So while it sounds entirely reasonable that t should have addressed this with you, I don't see it as unprofessionalism.

[mindmechanic]

I guess I see it as tactlessness and insensitivity, which worries me in the context of therapy, because of course we all want a sensitive and empathic therapist. If I'm seeing a regular GP weekly and s/he is going away on a vacation, I would think that s/he would inform me about any changes in schedule the week s/he returns beforehand. It's a professionally sloppy thing to not do, I think. But with therapy, it brings up a lot of feelings.

I always assumed the office was closed for major holidays. That's pretty normal. Doesn't make you stupid, but just an FYI about holidays. As far as the rescheduling goes, yes, she should have handled that sooner.

You sound generally dissatisfied with this therapist, so perhaps it is time to consider finding a different one?

[mindmechanic]

Things have been going well until the past week: her not being aware that I had been unknowingly underpaying her for a few months (even though I hand her cash directly from my hand to her hand) and her being sloppy in conveying schedule changes. I've invested a lot of time and money with her. If I quit, I'm not returning to therapy again - period.

If it is just this last week, perhaps just wait it out and see if things settle back in again. Even therapists have funky, distracted periods in their lives. Perhaps this is just a weird anomaly this week. Who knows?

I remember my therapist went through a period of about six weeks where, very unlike him, he cancelled a few sessions rather at the last moment. It started to bother me, but I figured something was truly going on because it was so out of character for the way he practiced. Come to find out, he was having back problems AND recurrent problems with kidney stones that eventually landed him in the hospital. Once the medical issues had passed (pardon the pun), things settled back in again.

[Sunflower123]

I think your tdoc should have firmed up the schedule with you about the changed sessions. I think it is something she overlooked. I don't think it's unprofessional. She's human and made an oversight. If you are satisfied with your tdoc in other regards, just talk this over with her and straighten it out. Usually on holidays, tdoc and pdoc offices are closed. Best wishes.

[mindmechanic]

Thank you all for your input. She has been proving herself to be quite a blockhead. I remember she had to travel out of country and was in a different timezone. We were going to do a phone session, but she miscalculated the time difference way off. I had to correct her.

[Ididitmyway]

I don't see it as being unprofessional. She seems a little disorganized but that's all. By the way, many therapists are known for being disorganized and absent-minded, myself included

The only mild criticism I'd have in this case is that she didn't give you the name of some of her colleagues you could see if you need to while she is out of town. It's a normal practice when the therapist goes on vacation and, I think, she should've done that.

As far as the re-scheduling issue, if she is generally an absent-minded person, which seems like she is, then, just like you, she simply didn't think in advance whether the clinic would be open on the 4th of July and also didn't think about how her flight schedule would affect her work schedule. This doesn't make you stupid and this doesn't make her stupid. It just makes life what it is - something that can't be perfectly controlled.

I am not saying this is not an issue and should not be discussed. Things like that do affect clients who need consistency so your concerns and dissatisfaction are legitimate. I suggest that you talk to her about it during the week when you will see her at a different time. Just tell her that disruptions of therapy structure is an issue for you, that it makes you feel anxious and interferes with your healing process. Tell her that you need to work out a solution together with her because you are not someone who can handle those disruptions very well. May be just being able to talk to another therapist during her vacations would solve the problem or may be she'd need to start thinking about all the logistics well in advance. Whatever it is, is definitely needs to be worked out.

But, while trying to resolve this issue, try also not to blow it out of proportions. While one can loosely make an argument that being so disorganized is pretty close to being unprofessional, this, so far, has NOT been an ethical issue. As far as I am concerned, nothing unethical has happened so far. She hasn't abandoned you and she hasn't ripped you off financially. So, if the therapy overall has been working for you, I think, it'd be more productive to approach what has happened from the angle of your personal need for more consistent structure rather than from the position of confrontation. If this doesn't work, then you can start thinking of the next steps, but until then I'd refrain from jumping to conclusions.

[luvnola]

I would have assumed the office would be closed on the 4th. When I had regular weekly appointments, if a holiday was coming up on my appointment day my t would typically remind me the week before that we wouldn't be meeting the following week bc of so and so holiday. So, while I would assume the office to be closed on the 4th, it's also not unreasonable to think the t should have mentioned it.

I'd bring it up, not in a confrontational way, but in a "hey, this kind of thing bothers me so I wanted to let you know", kind of way. Unless it's a last minute trip, the t knows what's coming up and should be able to give you plenty of notice regarding changes. Perhaps if you let her know how last minute changes to the schedule are disruptive for you, she will be more on top of it.

[Sarmas]

I think that your thought process is right. Your not psychic and some Ts might work that day while others don't. plus she didn't say anything about rescheduling until you brought it up. She should've mentioned it earlier on and rescheduled those days in order to avoid issues. Perhaps it slipped her mind because she has a bit going on with her vacation. She should still take a moment to think and be considerate towards her client and address matters appropriately and at a timely mater.