The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

aww i feel so special!
I"m glad it went okay. Did he mention your phone calls or texts at all? I do hope you get up the courage to talk to him about this, bc it seems important. But so glad you went!
LOL. I hope never to have this test done..eeeekkkkkk.
OMG, that sound terrible. Why didn't you go back, because you were embarassed you cried? I am pretty sure I would cry before, during and after. When I was at the hopsital a month or so ago to get my very large kidney stone pulverized, I warned my doctor that I probably will be a hot mess. Turns out I was so anxious, that I could only pace, and not talk to anyone, except to answer questions. They almost cancelled the procedure bc my heart rate was so high!
Kudos for you. I am awed by your empowerment in all of this. I can't believe you are still watching hte twins! It feels like its been a long time Hows it going overall?

I'm at the national park near my house killing time and getting myself centered before I head to t's. Nature pics to come.

Oh and I'd love some pocket riders in an hour. And I hope you won't have to endure any yelling.

A national park, nice. Nature pictures, yay. Pocket riding.

@@ are the twins experiencing the stunning array of colors following a black eye? They might heal fast at this age, it might all be a distant memory now.

In Art's pocket is a compact air conditioner and a stressed mess!

I am in there too, AC seals the deal

Opps.... that's my car, and it was my fault. Ans I am afraid because I disassociate a lot when I am driving and it gets worse when I am stressed or angry or depressed. This has been a crappy week.


In other news, my son has an appointment today with his t and I saw my own t.. and wouldn't you know an hour after him seeing me he emailed me back. I told him I was mad at him (among other people). It was real mature

Against all comfort-related instinct and desire, I was fully clothed for my lessons this evening

I rather think I deserve a medal. Or something more useful, like a beer. Or some of jdna's dinner, wow

Hopping in if not too late! Though I'm a bit of a mess, so not sure how much help I'll be...

Hahaha airbnb guest asked where my hairdryer is

Which is when it dawned on me (well obviously I don't have one)... that I've never blown my hair dry in my life. Oi.

In your pocket, Art!

H was dropping off D at his mom's after summer camp and was going to go to the gym. I suggested dinner instead, since I had the good news re: nothing suspicious on pelvic scan. Think it was a mistake. He was talking about a bunch of work stuff at dinner, and I'm so fried that I know I wasn't supportive enough. Then we grabbed a drink after. I have a ton of freelance work due in next couple days and haven't been able to focus well or get much sleep because of the health stuff. And I was supposed to take D to speech tomorrow morning. I asked if H could do it (he already had it blocked off on his work calendar for all her summer sessions). And he was like, "FINE, I can take her!" like really angrily. I started crying (yes, in the booth at the pub) and said I was sorry, I could just take her. But then he seemed more angry at that and said he could do it. I managed to get it together and stop crying, but we left soon after (me to go home, him to get D).

I've basically been convinced for a day and a half that I was going to get a death sentence. I tried to explain that to H, but I don't think he gets it. Because his brain doesn't work like that. I'd sent a text to him today after I talked to doctor's receptionist (who said there were no suspicious findings) about how "Now I don't have to worry if I'll be able to go on our summer vacation because I'm getting chemo or will have just had surgery." And he responded with a laughing smiley face. I was like, "Yeah, I was seriously thinking that this morning, I'm not making a joke." And he apologized. Plus I was awake for like 3 hours in the middle of the night looking up ovarian cancer stuff on my phone.

I just hate that I felt more supported through a 3-minute call with MC than from the past day and a half by H. Granted, I tried not to dump on him too much because I think I did that too much with the mammogram the previous week, and he said a few helpful/supportive things, then seemed frustrated by my continued high anxiety. So I closed off a bit. But I was facing one of my biggest life fears...what does it say if I can't really open up about that to the person who is supposed to be closest to me?

In other words: I think maybe we have a topic for marriage counseling Monday...

Thanks riders I'm on my way there now. Too early so pulled into a gas station to wait a lil. Wouldn't want her to think I'm anxious to see her by arriving early ha

When I used to smoke, I found that using a bleach-based cleaner helped get rid of the smell...

I regard it less as empowerment and more as "determined to be a mega-pain in the a s s."

I'm flying home Saturday, their parents get back Friday afternoon. They've been really well-behaved.

The colors peaked this past weekend. There's just enough left that I can still tell them apart!

Went to my sleep doctor, left with samples of Belsomra and an order for another sleep study. I just can't use my CPAP machine, I feel like I'm being attacked with that mask on.

My mother in law is staying with H and me tonight. H is concerned since we don't know that her house is secure. I am very funny about inviting people over. My sheets aren't clean. My bathroom is dirty. My couch is not comfortable.

I really really miss RoboT right now.

Ugh, so H was saying to D about taking her to speech, then to camp, then to the indoor pool (because it's supposed to be miserable out) tomorrow. I told him he didn't have to take her to the pool, that I could manage to get my work done without that (it's the reason he's taking her). He got irritated by that, too. I tried to explain to him that if he wants to do me a favor/help me out, he should be more like, "Hey, so I can take her to speech tomorrow so you'll have that time. Then, if you need more time, I don't mind taking her to the pool." Like, to offer to help me out. Not act like he's doing me this giant favor and then getting p*ssy when I say he doesn't have to do that, that I can manage. Stupidly, I said he was acting like he was being a martyr, which of course p*ssed him off...But seriously, if you want to say, "I'll do this to help!" then do it. Don't act all annoyed about it. Because then I just feel bad and say you don't need to do it, which just irritates you even more.

Do the favor willingly and because you want to help me. Or don't. Whatever. Not begrudgingly and like it's this huge burden.

Jdna - you made biscuits?!