[Blaire]

It's hitting me. A really heavy sadness is setting in. It's a very deep emptiness.

I've been so deeply attached to him for 4 years, obsessively so. I can't believe it's ending. I know this is for the best, but I feel like my whole world is darkening. I have to go to work tomorrow, and I'm scared I won't be able to function. I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself from crying.

This is going to be very, very hard.

[DodgersMom]

ugh

i can not even imagine, maybe call in tomorrow and take a day to yourself.

i know i wont be able to cope. i already dread it, and it could be years away.

[growlycat]

I have had to end things with good ts due to my own moves. It is still very painful but I've learned that I can attach to new people ts included. It does hurt in this stage. Take care of yourself

[Calilady]

Oh gosh, my heart goes out to you!!

[Blaire]

Thank you for the support. It helps me not feel so alone. I'm taking it easy, bundled in a sweater though it's summer, eating graham crackers. I think it's comfort food time for the next few days. I hope it isn't too terrible for my daughter that I can't hide my sadness.

[Chummy2]

I feel for you. I know how hard this can be. The only advice I can give is to have a good closure. Think about how you want your last session to be, if there's anything you want to say to him.
Other than that, be nice to yourself.

[toomanycats]

I also know this feel and agree with Chummy about trying to ride therapy out to its conclusion so that you have closure and can say goodbye.

[Blaire]

I am thinking about what it will be like to say goodbye, and what I want to get from our final session. It's too hard to think about, though. I break down every time I try.

[DodgersMom]

Originally Posted by Blaire

I am thinking about what it will be like to say goodbye, and what I want to get from our final session. It's too hard to think about, though. I break down every time I try.

literally my nightmare. this very thing makes me want to just quit and never go back.

i am not sure how i'll cope and i'm only 3 months in, i can't imagine how awful it is for you with so long a history

[Blaire]

Yes, four years, and so much has happened. I think he knows me better than anyone.

[Blaire]

So far I've been doing a pretty good job of not crying at work. I'm glad for that.

I hear you. This grief is hard.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I am going through the same thing. My tdoc who has been a life saver for me has taken a job at the local VA and is closing her practice at a time when my only child who has been my purpose and focus in life is leaving to go to college two hours away. I really need my tdoc and it's very painful right now. I have a new tdoc appointment today and I'll try to have an open mind.

I hope you feel better soon.