[NYC78]

I am seeing a UK Therapist since 7 years, she promised me that I can stay with her forever like and don´t need to leave unless I need to in a couple of years...I am on a Master Programme, working full time and been highly stressed the last couple of weeks. She said she would provide therapy for me as I am doing my Master´s which will be going to 2019.

However, today she told me before I could start my paid session...that she would terminate me next year 2018, out of the blue i was so shocked didn´t t saw it coming. We have talked once week.

She told me it would be better I see a therapist in my country Germany, currently we are on phone and in person sessions 1/month when I am in the Uk for my studying.

I feel really betrayed right now, that she is liar and pushed me into something without me having a say in the decision. I feel like I am cut off and to much to handle.

Any thought are welcome.

Thanks folks

I wouldn't be surprised if her supervisor has questioned her for seeing someone at long distance, or even if her professional indemnity insurance have said they won't cover international therapy sessions (I know some insurers do have such a clause).
But more importantly, she should not have promised you something she couldn't be sure she could deliver. That was not ethical on her part. I'm sorry you are suffering. Please know that this is not your fault and you have every right to feel hurt and abandoned.
If she is a member of the bacp you have the right to make a complaint about her adherence to the ethical framework if you choose to do so. But whatever you decide going forward, take care of yourself, and know that you didn't deserve to be treated this way.

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

I wouldn't be surprised if her supervisor has questioned her for seeing someone at long distance, or even if her professional indemnity insurance have said they won't cover international therapy sessions (I know some insurers do have such a clause).
But more importantly, she should not have promised you something she couldn't be sure she could deliver. That was not ethical on her part. I'm sorry you are suffering. Please know that this is not your fault and you have every right to feel hurt and abandoned.
If she is a member of the bacp you have the right to make a complaint about her adherence to the ethical framework if you choose to do so. But whatever you decide going forward, take care of yourself, and know that you didn't deserve to be treated this way.

Hi Runcible, thank you so much for this words, I felt so bad in all of this and low that I came here to get some voices. I did not realizes that maybe there are insurance problems...and you are probably suggestion something about her supervisor that she was questioned.

Can I make a complained and also get my notes- she said I am not entitled to them at all ?

In British law you are entitled to your notes under the data protection act and it is absolutely false to suggest you can't have them. Yes you can complain if she is a member of a professional body (but do consider the emotional impact this may have - I suggest you seek the support of another therapist first.) Do you know whether she is a member of the bacp or ukcp?

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

In British law you are entitled to your notes under the data protection act and it is absolutely false to suggest you can't have them. Yes you can complain if she is a member of a professional body (but do consider the emotional impact this may have - I suggest you seek the support of another therapist first.) Do you know whether she is a member of the bacp or ukcp?

Wow wow wow then she is liar or what? I feel like she told me 6 years long lies that I never are entitled to my notes wow...She is a member of bacp and I told her that I have been reading this on the webpage 2 years ago and she told me I was wrong.

Wow I will chase this with her...emotional impact...today was a hell of a day and when someone lies oho...will contact BACP tomorrow...thank you Runccible you are great

No problem. Here is information about the data protection act http://www.bacp.co.uk/terms/dataprotection.php
And here is information on how to make a complaint to BACP http://www.bacp.co.uk/crs/complaints.php
Linked from that page is a free advisory service called 'ask Kathleen' which may be able to provide more information. I think you have grounds for complaint, not least under the BACP ethical principle of trustworthiness, which she appears to have violated on a number of occasions with you.
I do want to emphasise - please take care of yourself first and ensure that you have adequate support in place to deal with all of this. Best wishes

[satsuma]

If I were you I would probably also feel extremely upset. But as I'm looking at this from the outside, I'm thinking perhaps you can try to talk more with her about this?
She said you have to finish in 2018, so still not for a while. I wonder if there could be an explanation or reason for this. Maybe as runcible spoon suggested something to do with insurance. Or there could be all kinds of other scenarios I can imagine. E.g. a family member has suffered a serious illness or disability which changes her long term plans and she decides to retire early to be a carer. Or the boss of the clinic where she works has just announced that the clinic will be closing in 2018 ... I am just pulling these out of the air, but there could be many possible explanations which don't necessarily mean that she was deliberate lying before, but that there has been a very serious change in circumstances. I certainly think she owes you an explanation of why she said that, and I think it would probably be really important for you too, otherwise you will always be left wondering what happened and why she changed her mind.
I wish you all the best, and sorry that this is so hard.

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

No problem. Here is information about the data protection act Data protection - BACP User Help
And here is information on how to make a complaint to BACP Complaints - BACP Customer Services
Linked from that page is a free advisory service called 'ask Kathleen' which may be able to provide more information. I think you have grounds for complaint, not least under the BACP ethical principle of trustworthiness, which she appears to have violated on a number of occasions with you.
I do want to emphasise - please take care of yourself first and ensure that you have adequate support in place to deal with all of this. Best wishes

Really this was truly helpful, I had a look already and think critically and carefully about any actions, right now I am very hurt and don´t understand. She told me the whole time something different and today she mentioned I told you about this, that and wanted to tell you blah blah blah...

I think this kind of therapist who suck you try on money and then push you away with there psychodynamic ****, who tell you lies about ethical framework staff- wow I am really glad I posted here today.

Thank you once again

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by satsuma

If I were you I would probably also feel extremely upset. But as I'm looking at this from the outside, I'm thinking perhaps you can try to talk more with her about this?
She said you have to finish in 2018, so still not for a while. I wonder if there could be an explanation or reason for this. Maybe as runcible spoon suggested something to do with insurance. Or there could be all kinds of other scenarios I can imagine. E.g. a family member has suffered a serious illness or disability which changes her long term plans and she decides to retire early to be a carer. Or the boss of the clinic where she works has just announced that the clinic will be closing in 2018 ... I am just pulling these out of the air, but there could be many possible explanations which don't necessarily mean that she was deliberate lying before, but that there has been a very serious change in circumstances. I certainly think she owes you an explanation of why she said that, and I think it would probably be really important for you too, otherwise you will always be left wondering what happened and why she changed her mind.
I wish you all the best, and sorry that this is so hard.

Thank you for this and her reasoning was today: I think you frequently need to see someone in person, as I am afraid in her opinion to see someone face to face...but I am not I am working in the helping profession, teaching, etc and have many friends...my issues are with close intimate relationships rather I know and I am aware of this.

You do sound angry and hurt, which is why I think may be unwise to rush into action. As far as I am aware there is no time limit in bacp complaints (though ask Kathleen may be able to advise you more certainly on this.)
No matter what the reason for the termination, your feelings and wellbeing are paramount here.

[satsuma]

Originally Posted by NYC78

Thank you for this and her reasoning was today: I think you frequently need to see someone in person, as I am afraid in her opinion to see someone face to face...but I am not I am working in the helping profession, teaching, etc and have many friends...my issues are with close intimate relationships rather I know and I am aware of this.

That is like me - I worked in a helping profession for many years, do a job involving managing lots of people and love it and get on really well with people, but intimate relationships are difficult.
Maybe your T is doing it for what she thinks is for the best, but I agree Ts should not change what they say. It makes it so hard or impossible or to trust them!

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

You do sound angry and hurt, which is why I think may be unwise to rush into action. As far as I am aware there is no time limit in bacp complaints (though ask Kathleen may be able to advise you more certainly on this.)
No matter what the reason for the termination, your feelings and wellbeing are paramount here.

Of course yeah and notes need to be kept for 7 years, will get informed tomorrow.

I feel really hurt yeah.

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by satsuma

That is like me - I worked in a helping profession for many years, do a job involving managing lots of people and love it and get on really well with people, but intimate relationships are difficult.
Maybe your T is doing it for what she thinks is for the best, but I agree Ts should not change what they say. It makes it so hard or impossible or to trust them!

Thank you, thats helpful a lot and I am aware of this problem, we talked a lot about this and I am in distance relationships since 3 years- she questioned this the last time that I should tell to say this and that ...at the end I had a big fight with my partner about this.

[NYC78]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

I wouldn't be surprised if her supervisor has questioned her for seeing someone at long distance, or even if her professional indemnity insurance have said they won't cover international therapy sessions (I know some insurers do have such a clause).
But more importantly, she should not have promised you something she couldn't be sure she could deliver. That was not ethical on her part. I'm sorry you are suffering. Please know that this is not your fault and you have every right to feel hurt and abandoned.
If she is a member of the bacp you have the right to make a complaint about her adherence to the ethical framework if you choose to do so. But whatever you decide going forward, take care of yourself, and know that you didn't deserve to be treated this way.

Hello Runcible, I rang up BACP today and I am right I can have all my notes as far as a therapist made them. They were very helpful and also told me that she is in a grey area and it is not ethical to tell a client they can never have their notes.

Thanks for the update. I'm glad the BACP were so helpful. Best of luck going forward.