The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

I took today off work to go over to the college and pick up my textbook, and run a couple other errands. Will probably do a little cooking today too. And kick back here in between.

The lady at the gas station I always go to said I don't seem as lost today. I said what do you mean? She said yesterday it seemed I had a lot going on in my head.

Who needs a therapist??? Just go to the shell on kanuga rd

I slept like 14 hours.. So...

I bet you feel more human. I'm sorry you've had a rough few days.

I don't know about that personally. Not sure if they deserve verbal abuse. I respect him and I shouldn't have been yelling at him

Thanks.. Yes.. I feel more level headed today

At the end of this month there's a week I'll be working 9 hour shifts 5 days in a row. Guess I'll be pretty occupied while T is in colorado...

I have mixed feeling about this. Part of me agrees that a T should be open to receiving anything that does't harm them and then help the client process out whatever was causing said behavior and what might have been a more appropriate way of dealing with said behavior.

On the other hand, I agree with you that people don't deserve to be verbally abused.

So, was your T's comment about not appreciating being yelled at a helpful way to process whatever you were feeling and show you (teach you) an appropriate way of dealing with your anger? Were you actually being verbally abusive because you can yell at a person and still not be verbally abusive.

I don't consider what I did abusive. I think T didn't know what to do with my erratic behavior and unstable-ness at the time

I shouted at him that he is just sitting there. And he was just sitting there playing with a small puzzle

It felt so bad that he thought I was high when I've been battling this every day and have not been using. And I go in there and its like pointless bc he thinks I am using

What he thinks isn't what's important though. I guess.

However he is so important to me. And I HATE THAT.

Maybe you should have her write you an affadavit to give your t!

Remember it's not pointless because you're still clean! That's worth it in itself. It sounds like he really dropped the ball and I'm not surprised you were frustrated with him. But when he realises his mistake (which he will if you carry on staying clean) you can repair this rupture. It's okay that he means a lot to you. You mean a lot to him too. This will pass.

Don't have the energy to catch up. Sleeping this much is not normal, right? Friday night went to bed at 21:00. Woke up Saturday at 09:00 stayed awake for an hour went back to bed. Woke up at 14:20. Couldn't even finish the ball game, went back to bed from 15:00 til 17:00, had plans to go out with a friend, I went. Got home at 21:30 bed at 22:00. Woke up Sunday at 06:00 went back to bed at 07:30 woke up at 11:00, once again couldn't finish the game went back to bed at 12:30 woke up at 18:00. Sister came over, went to bed at 22:00 and now I am at work and just want to go to sleep again.

(((Ellahmae)))

Did you start a new medication?

I'm actually feeling better today. So far at least. I know my mood dips as the day goes on

I went to the grocery store (NOT the one I saw T at... Which.. I'll probs I never go there again), and I got these pre marinated chicken thighs for $2.70!! And some frozen veggies (sweet peas, sugar snap beans)... And some sugar cookies to bake. Then I came home and did my daily chores

My plan is to relax, watch stuff, play online, maybe study. Then make dinner later and shower and go to bed

((EM))

Sounds like a good day, DNA! Hopefully your mood doesn't dip.

This training is dumb. I'd rather be in my classroom doing something productive. But in good news, I've assembled 1.5 out of 3 pieces of furniture that I bought on Friday. IKEA furniture is stupid easy to assemble.

Just picked up my textbook for fall class, now at bank to close account cuz they ticked me off charging exhorbitant fees. Then to grocery store then home to relax!

I switched to a credit union a long time ago. I don't know what you have available where you live, but here, they are awesome. No fees and the tellers are so nice they would call when they got worried about my parent's behavior (they had an account there too)...which was quite often toward the end.

Im a state employees credit union customer. It was my first bank account because my mom worked for the state most of her nursing career. They've been very good to me but my mom is unhappy recently because she thinks they mid handled her deceased moms estate

Which July 25 will be 2 years since she died

I'm so f***ing sad. Why did I talk about things that I don't want to talk about? They were fine where they were, in a locked box in my head. They belonged there, not coming out of my mouth in a room with my T.

I felt so safe with him today, though. I curled up in a tiny ball like a cat on his sofa and it smelt of feather cushions and I felt so safe, so comfortable, with him there watching over me, like everything was okay just for those few minutes. I want to go back there.

But instead I'm here, away from him, and the horrible things are still out of the box. I can't get them back in.

I don't want to wait another week to go back.

Hugs... I am here if you want to talk...

Sad thing is, this IS a credit union.... but I've washed my hands of them, after detailing to the gal why I was upset (very politely and un-emotionally, score one for me, I know SHE didn't make the rules). They just started a credit union through our parent company at work, so I think I'm going to open a new one through that. It was my therapy account, so it doesn't involve h.