The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

Yeah, here it goes. I'm decompensating. I started to cry when the cat knocked over the food bowl because I don't have time to sweep.

*crawls out from under a cushion* Hello... couch? I'm proper miserable.

((Daisy)) I know that feeling.

Cuddle up buttercup. Misery loves company.

Want to talk about what's going on?

Hi (((luco)))
You're not miserable

Thanks Daisy and Capt. Let's be miserable together.

I dunno if I want to talk about it. Everything's just terrible, isn't it?

Maybe it is right now, but it won't always be this way.

Can I come and hang out on the periphery? I just don't even have anything to say.

I think we're all just sort of loafing about in a melancholy manner at the mo, Anais. Feel free to curl up in a corner.

I don't know that any of us have much to say. All I'd really want to do is sit in the corner and repeat "there's not enough time."

See, this is the problem with being a workaholic. When work goes south, so too does everything else.

That'll do

Thursday I was pretty busy and then yesterday was my friend's birthday. Her husband is away for the month and she is like me in that she isn't close to many people, so I took it upon myself to go all out for her. Gift, nice card, took her to a fancy-ish faraway lunch for margaritas. Then we went back to her place and drank the rest of the day, listened to little kid songs, and distracted ourselves by doing some maintenance-type chores that had accumulated.

Today I'm on my own. It's an awful feeling.

she asked if I could come hem her curtains for her today (in exchange for more wine, distracting company, and help installing my AC later) and if she doesn't end up taking me up on it I might lose my mind

Sounds like a good friendship, anais.

I'm at the point where continuing to bemoan my situation is only going to make it worse. I'm going to change out of my PJs into normal people clothes. Running an errand for H, going to go buy more crap for my classroom, then taking my laptop to a cafe to get some flipping work done.

My anxiety in moments like this is crippling to the point that even thinking of getting up is too much. But I can do this.

Right?

Yes, Daisy, you can. Want me to get my cheerleading pompoms out?

Hope your friend gets in touch, Anais!

Yeah, my secret weapon for a while has been dressing nice (or at least ok) and doing work I could do at home at a cafe instead. Practice equivalent= dressing nice and sneaking into any local music school

Whoops now everyone knows my secret

What now

I went to bed at 7 last night bc I got 45 minutes of sleep Thursday night (I will NEVER forget to take my Seroquel again), and woke up at 4am, wide awake!

At 7 I gave up and cleaned my entire apartment...it took 3 hours.

Now it feels like it should be abou 5 or 6pm...and not even 1 yet! This will never happen again (me being awake at 7am and/or cleaning) so I must document it.

Your achievement is noted along with my best wishes for your future sleeps.

I should maybe be taking note of that, Anais. Meant to be writing an essay today and I haven't got further than the title. Sigh.

I know that feeling except for me the process is backward... i stare at the blank screen forever then finally start typing a random paragraph from the middle of the essay somewhere, whatever comes to me first.

Title and first sentence are always last. Usually after several hours of anxiety and paralysis.

I woke up at ~4 p.m. today lol

Why thank you
This is usually how I operate on weekends!

lolagrace are you out there reading by chance? i find myself wanting you to weigh in on my current t stuff.

Dropped some stuff off at my mother in law's for H. Now off to get some work done.

Good going, Daisy. You're doing it!

It's all downhill from here I think -- I am beginning to prefer orchestral renditions of classic rock songs to the actual songs themselves.

Cleaning -- I have fondly contemplated the dust bunnies in my house. I'm waiting for that magical optimal point in time when the health hazard from not getting rid of them outweighs the pleasure of such contemplation (and meticulously planning the exact time at which I will [surely not] clean my house).

I cleaned my desk off this morning, threw away a bunch of junk and filed some other stuff and now it's all clean and ready for studying when my class starts next month.

Now I am making a chocolate pie. Because, chocolate.