Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 09:01 AM
  #21
It's not really all about protecting him. It's also protecting me.
I don't want to go through what reporting would mean for me.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
elisewin
Veteran Member
 
elisewin's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 509
7
91 hugs
given
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 09:24 AM
  #22
I would tell your new T everything, because it is important to you and is always between. I tend to think if your new T reports if he feels obliged to, it is not you reporting or making the choice to report. Well I do think your ex T needs to be reported but I understand you are not up to it.
elisewin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 12:35 PM
  #23
Spoke with Group T. Actually, in group, I said I was mad with her.... I got to speak with her privately for about 15 minutes though after group.

Group T is approaching her reasoning for wanting to report very differently than J. She said she's seen many people who had blurry boundaries before with therapist and has never felt the need to report before. She says she wants to do it for me -- not herself -- not out of obligation -- but because she wants to see accountability be placed where it belongs. And she also said that as one of my therapists, it's her job to protect me if she sees something like this. She apologized if she handled it wrong -- if she should've spoken to me before speaking to J.

My anger deflated. I am very confused. I don't know what's real anymore. I told Group T that S had not been telling everything to his supervisors, and she asked me "What does that say to you about how he viewed the relationship?" Kind of the first time I thought about it really.... it means he knew that he was doing things he shouldn't have been doing. Regardless of what he told me about how he'd defend our relationship to anyone... he was deliberately concealing things.

General consensus is that he is not a bad person, but that he just needs to do a lot of work on himself. He messed up. Even I can admit that now. He messed up. And, I already knew he needed to do a lot of work on himself.

I told her... I'm going to tell J everything. On Friday. If he's going to decide about reporting, I want him to decide with all of the information -- I don't want him to decide one way now and then have to decide again later if I disclose something else.

So. That's where I'm at. I feel many things. Many, many things.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AllHeart, atisketatasket, elisewin, LonesomeTonight, lucozader
 
Thanks for this!
AllHeart, elisewin, naenin
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
13
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 12:58 PM
  #24
The answer is no. Simple as that. Therapists don't have to report other therapists unethical behavior. It doesn't depend on the type of license they hold or anything else. I also don't believe there are states that have that mandate. So, the answer is pretty straightforward. Whether people are happy about that or not and whether they accept it or not is a different issue.

By the way, not only they are not required to report their colleagues, but they might get in trouble for doing so without the client's written authorization as this would constitute the breach of confidentiality.

You, as a client, are the only one in the position to decide whether your ex-therapist should be reported. No other therapist can do it without your permission.

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Cali95, toomanycats
AllHeart
Magnate
 
AllHeart's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,024
9
2,132 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:13 PM
  #25
The NASW Code of Ethics is here:
https://www.socialworkers.org/pubs/code/code.asp


I’m not the expert of your situation or the code of ethics, of course. But, nowhere does the code state reporting someone is required or mandatory that I can see. The use of the word “should” is prevalent throughout the code which perhaps leaves things open for interpretation. Like I said, my t and my daughter’s t are LCSW’s and follow the NASW code also. Before I was ready to consider filing a report myself, they both told me they would have loved to report my ex-t but they didn’t because it wasn’t mandatory and because they knew it would have greatly hurt me. I hope your t has the same findings.
AllHeart is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
toomanycats
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:29 PM
  #26
I agree - there is no "have to."

There are only "shoulds."

J (my T) is contacting the NASW call line for advice for his own sake.
I do not think anything is going to be reported as I have made it abundantly clear that it's not what I want.
Even so, I'm going to go ahead and tell them both everything -- starting with J -- so that they can have their own clear consciences or whatever and so that we never have to have this debate again.

Ideally, we will move on from that with them leaving the ball in my court -- I would just like to process it all and heal. And, if I cut S out of my life completely, I want to be the one to do it. I don't want it to happen because my T reported him and he's angry at me. I want to be in control of this. Not anyone else.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AllHeart, atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
AllHeart, Ididitmyway, naenin
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:31 PM
  #27
J told me to be selfish in this.
To not worry about S's future clients. That my only obligation is to myself.
So, being selfish, right or wrong, I do not want to report any of this. I don't want to go through that.

It's just...if J does report it and the board asks for more information or considers it bad enough to do something about and asks for my participation...THEN I will feel hugely obligated to future clients.... it's one thing to talk about the "what ifs" ... it's something else to actually have to put my foot down and say "No, I will not give you information."

I am hoping they do not put me in that position.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous52723
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:37 PM
  #28
I certainly could not and would not allow other adults to make that kind of decision on my behalf if the laws of our land do not consider me fully mentally incapicitated. My parents did that when I was their responsibility and it lead me to not feel I had control over my destiny, so as an adult I allowed my parents and others to make decisions for me that I was against or was unsure of. I would feel like those therapist are treating me like a child and at great emotional expense. You are not respond for your therapist to get a clean conscious. Besides, how can they have a clean conscious without your consent and cooperation.

You have no responsibility when it comes to your mental health to look out for what may or may not happen to others. You have to do what is best for you for your emotional and physical well being. And, if you want to report your ex therapist then go for it. You deserve to have that control.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Cali95
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
13
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 02:04 PM
  #29
Quote:
Originally Posted by AttachmentesBueno View Post
I certainly could not and would not allow other adults to make that kind of decision on my behalf if the laws of our land do not consider me fully mentally incapicitated. My parents did that when I was their responsibility and it lead me to not feel I had control over my destiny, so as an adult I allowed my parents and others to make decisions for me that I was against or was unsure of. I would feel like those therapist are treating me like a child and at great emotional expense.

You have no responsibility when it comes to your mental health to look out for what may or may not happen to others. You have to do what is best for you for your emotional and physical well being. And, if you want to report your ex therapist then go for it. You deserve to have that control.
My position exactly. I would be furious if any subsequent therapist reported my ex-therapist without my permission and also if they were pushing me to report. I would feel utterly disempowered. I also get pissed off when people imply that anyone has moral obligation to take care of other clients of the unethical therapist. In most cases, reporting because you want to "protect his/her other clients" is a lie. People report because they seek justice for themselves, not because they want to protect others, so whoever makes that false claim, please, spare me..I wasn't born yesterday. If we were talking about children who were in danger of getting harmed, I would feel differently, because children are often unable to leave harmful situations on their own without an outside intervention. But when adults are concerned, while I understand all psychological reasons that make it difficult to leave unethical therapists, objectively people always have that choice. Their psychological struggles around leaving are theirs to resolve. No one can do that for them nor should they attempt to. These are highly personal struggles that hold a lot of potential for self-empowerment for the person, but he or she should make that choice alone.

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Cali95, naenin
StickyTwig
Member
 
StickyTwig's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 50
7
8 hugs
given
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 02:42 PM
  #30
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats View Post
I think he has the first one's name
I think I put it on my forms I filled out when I was transferring to him bc I was still possibly seeing S while transferring
It sounds like you didn't refer to S much (or at all) by name when speaking about him. So there could be some element of doubt in J about whether the person on the forms is the person that he wishes to report? People after all can have multiple past therapists. It is unlikely anyone will make a report unless they are 100% certain who the person is.

So one way out of a mandated reporting would be to refuse to confirm the name of the person on the forms is the person you have been speaking about (S).

Anyway: don't let them pressure you into this in any way. If your gut instinct is that this will damage you, you are probably correct in this. This is a difficult situation, take care.
StickyTwig is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Cali95
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,615 (SuperPoster!)
9
76.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 03:13 PM
  #31
Deleted because I ended up calling my T and asking, and she wasn't thinking of saying anything to him or reporting, so no need to leave this question here! Back to the thread...

Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Jul 19, 2017 at 04:32 PM..
LonesomeTonight is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AllHeart
ramonajones
Veteran Member
 
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 739
9
217 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 03:18 PM
  #32
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats View Post
I'm 99% sure that I know the answer to this question, but I know a lot of people here have more experience than I do.

Last night, my new therapist (J) said he thought that he might be mandated to report what happened with my ex therapist (S) to the state licensing board.

No blatant sexual anything happened; the most sexual thing that happened was him telling me that he'd had a sex dream about me and about how aroused it made him. Also, I guess, he did tell me about his genital piercings as well as what he likes to do sexually with women/his physical preferences. Otherwise, boundaries were just non-existent in general.

I'm in a panic. I do not want J to report S. That is not something I could handle. I'm pretty sure that he is NOT mandated to report this, but I was hoping some of you could offer some insight and experience....
I don't believe he can report that without your permission because of confidentiality.
ramonajones is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
AllHeart
Magnate
 
AllHeart's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,024
9
2,132 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 03:51 PM
  #33
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats View Post
J told me to be selfish in this.
To not worry about S's future clients. That my only obligation is to myself.
So, being selfish, right or wrong, I do not want to report any of this. I don't want to go through that.

It's just...if J does report it and the board asks for more information or considers it bad enough to do something about and asks for my participation...THEN I will feel hugely obligated to future clients.... it's one thing to talk about the "what ifs" ... it's something else to actually have to put my foot down and say "No, I will not give you information."

I am hoping they do not put me in that position.
I agree – be selfish. Your emotional well-being is what is most important so being selfish is far from wrong.


My t told me that if she had reported my ex-t without my permission, she would have had to list me, the client, as “anonymous.” Confidentiality rules will protect you if your t does submit a report. So, the board will not be able to contact you unless you give your t permission to list you as the client.
AllHeart is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
anais_anais, Cali95, LonesomeTonight
Anonymous52723
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 04:10 PM
  #34
When I hear therapist talking against other therapist and what the other therapist is giving a client that they are unwilling to give a client, especially if they share the same client, I don't think of professional ethics first. I think of the therapist feeling inadequate. "The clients emails are too many and too long, they've called me in the middle of the night or on my vacation. If they're getting this from another therapist they'll expect me to do it too. Don't they know etiquette? I only offered because I feel inadequate."

I would also have to ask myself why I would need to bate her with or others certain statements. Is this a part of my pattern? And, maybe I should talk to my therapist about it? For me this would be the triangle of mom and dad issues.

How someone else practices therapy by allowing phone calls of 2 hours or 100 emails a month is not a justifiable reason to even consider reporting someone.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
13
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 04:13 PM
  #35
[QUOTE=AllHeart;5744446]I agree – be selfish. Your emotional well-being is what is most important so being selfish is far from wrong.


My t told me that if she had reported my ex-t without my permission, she would have had to list me, the client, as “anonymous.” Confidentiality rules will protect you if your t does submit a report. So, the board will not be able to contact you unless you give your t permission to list you as the client.[/QUOTE

In this case, if the therapist lists the client as "anonymous" in her report, the board will throw it out. They won't bother to investigate because there will be no person with first hand experience of abuse to confirm the facts. Everything in the therapist's report would be just hearsay impossible to confirm. In fact, the California board says it clearly. They say that anyone can report unethical therapists, however, the reports from the third parties have a low chance of being investigated and anonymous reports don't get investigated for obvious reasons that nothing in them could be confirmed because the therapist who was reported would obviously deny everything.

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Cali95
AllHeart
Magnate
 
AllHeart's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,024
9
2,132 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 04:16 PM
  #36
[quote=Ididitmyway;5744471]
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllHeart View Post
I agree – be selfish. Your emotional well-being is what is most important so being selfish is far from wrong.


My t told me that if she had reported my ex-t without my permission, she would have had to list me, the client, as “anonymous.” Confidentiality rules will protect you if your t does submit a report. So, the board will not be able to contact you unless you give your t permission to list you as the client.[/QUOTE

In this case, if the therapist lists the client as "anonymous" in her report, the board will throw it out. They won't bother to investigate because there will be no person with first hand experience of abuse to confirm the facts. Everything in the therapist's report would be just hearsay impossible to confirm. In fact, the California board says it clearly. They say that anyone can report unethical therapists, however, the reports from the third parties have a low chance of being investigated and anonymous reports don't get investigated for obvious reasons that nothing in them could be confirmed because the therapist who was reported would obviously deny everything.
That may be true in CA. It is NOT true in my state. A report filed directly from the client, or named client, certainly would carry more weight in my state, but, a licensed, professional therapist filing a complaint in my state is not dismissed so quickly, thankfully. I'm sure it would be dismissed if a friend or family member submitted the report listing the client as anonymous though.

Last edited by AllHeart; Jul 19, 2017 at 04:41 PM..
AllHeart is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous52723
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 04:28 PM
  #37
My ex husband was on a review panel for behavioral health complaints in his state for ~6 years. He left resigned ~2 years ago. He also says that anonymous complaints NEVER get investigated. If the situation is so outrageous and someone is in harms way, mandatory reporting laws are meant to deal with the issue. But, when it comes to clients, other therapist or friends, neighbors and family of the client reporting anonymously it get regulated to the back file, then to be moved onto the trash. He has always stated that there is not enough resources to do justice to the cases that they already have all the names and cooperation of the alleged injured party(s).

Last edited by Anonymous52723; Jul 19, 2017 at 04:54 PM..
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Ididitmyway
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
13
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 04:53 PM
  #38
[QUOTE=AllHeart;5744474]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway View Post

That may be true in CA. It is NOT true in my state. A report filed directly from the client, or named client, certainly would carry more weight in my state, but, a licensed, professional therapist filing a complaint in my state is not dismissed so quickly, thankfully. I'm sure it would be dismissed if a friend or family member submitted the report listing the client as anonymous though.
I just don't see how it could not be dismissed if nothing can be verified. All the board can do in cases when the harmed party is not named is to contact the therapist and to question him about the information they received. The therapist would obviously deny everything ant that would be the end of it. Why would any board bother even start? As AB said, they don't have enough resources to properly investigate even the complaints from clients with convincing evidence because they get tons of them every year. Who would bother to look at anonymous reports whether from professionals or not?

What does exactly your state licensing board do when they get reports from professionals who don't name the clients they have received information from? How exactly do they investigate it if there is no one to question?

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 05:05 PM
  #39
I referred to S by his first name a lot. I'm not sure if he has his last name.
I really hope it doesn't come down to me having to refuse information to anyone. That's not how I want this to resolve.... J is my therapist, and I like to think he's on my side... same with Group T
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Ididitmyway
Magnate
 
Ididitmyway's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
13
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 19, 2017 at 05:08 PM
  #40
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats View Post
I referred to S by his first name a lot. I'm not sure if he has his last name.
I really hope it doesn't come down to me having to refuse information to anyone. That's not how I want this to resolve.... J is my therapist, and I like to think he's on my side... same with Group T
You won't have to be in the position to refuse information because your current therapist is not allowed by law to report your ex-therapist without your explicit written authorization. If he does it'd be a breach of confidentiality. Simple as that.

__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AllHeart
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:39 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.