[Calilady]

1. How long were you with your t?

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session?

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated?

4. Why did you terminate?

Sorry, these questions are rather haphazard.

[feileacan]

I have terminated with one T.

1. I saw him approximately 11 months.

2. The termination was known in advance, so there wasn't an extra termination session but basically the sessions of the last 5 months were coloured by the pending termination.

3. Yes, I mourned him quite heavily. The first month after the termination I did not feel anything, after that the sadness suddenly hit me very strongly. It lasted for several months. Even now I sometimes experience it again, now it is one year after termination. The thought that I can never see him again makes me very aware of my loss. At the same time, we have an agreement that I can email him once a year and then he will respond to me. I just received his response to my this year's email and naturally it again reminded me my feelings of loss.

4. I terminated because I was living in that country temporarily.

[catnip123]

1. 5 years
2. t told me about 6 weeks before she left. so i had 4 sessions with her to help me get situated with a new T. the last session was sad
3. i'm not sure that i'd label it as a mourning period. i was annoyed with her for a while and missed her for a few weeks
4. t closed her private practice and moved out of state

[stopdog]

The first one I ever saw back when I was in my 20s - we became friends after I quit therapy. No mourning or final appointment. Quit because did not see the point.

I quit one after seeing them for about 3 months - said I was stopping -she said I could not just stop - I said "watch me" and left and did not go back. No mourning. Quit because this one was batshit crazy.

The second one I saw currently for about 6 years - recently stopped. Just did not make another appointment - no mourning. Quit because she kept trying to give me advice/just not interested anymore

[toomanycats]

1. How long were you with your t?
3 years

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session?
Through text. There was no termination session. This was a horrible mistake. He would not give me a termination session when I came back a week later and asked for one.

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated?
I'm still in it. It's been 4 months.

4. Why did you terminate?
He was taking a job across the country.

[AllHeart]

1. How long were you with your t? Almost 3 years.

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session? Told ex-t therapy was on break until we could work through the issues she created. We had a meeting to try to work things out but that didn't go so well. She had been setting me up to quit for a while and didn't want to work things out. Convo's that followed that meeting led me to "snap" so I told ex-t not to contact me anymore via email.

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated? My ex-t started to change last fall and I knew the situation was turning grim so I started to mourn her around Christmas time. Mourning was on and off for the next few months. After the end of our relationships (we had also become friends) in April, mourning was heavy for a while. Now it comes and goes in waves.

4. Why did you terminate? I couldn't handle the chronic confusion from the boundary violations, nor could I handle the emotional abuse any longer. Leaving my ex-t was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I miss her like crazy sometimes. But, getting out of toxic, crap therapy (and in my case, away from a toxic, crap "friend") was the best thing for me.

[nyc artist]

I was only with T 2 for 6 months, but it seemed like years.

I ended by phone call and then text & email because she wouldn't accept it.

Not really a mourning period for her...but I'm still mourning me...how I wasted that time and allowed myself to be taken advantage of.

I terminated because she crossed almost every boundary in the book. She wanted to be my friend (and so we became friends), she called/texted at all hours, my therapy was about her not me. She took advantage of me. My breaking point was when she told me that she wanted to commit suicide with me.

1. How long were you with your t?

18 months

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session?

I scheduled a day to terminate a month in advance. I brought in several silly gifts wrapped with a note attached. One gifts was a vampire pacifier in memory of my attachment. Another, a dancing ballerina beanie baby attached with a ballerina picture of me at age 4, posing for a professional photographer.

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated?

I did not mourn her. We were going to resume a relationship as friends 1 month later. There were times in the first year I mourned the former relationship and I needed her council like a therapist. She respond as a good friend who happened to be a therapist, but she was prepared for this and knew there would need to be a transition period in our relationship. We made it through and have been friends for four years. She allowed me then and now to continue growing.

4. Why did you terminate?

I had very intensive attachment therapy and I accomplished a heck of a lot, moved me off the couch and into real life simultaneously. Contrary to popular belief, those needs I longed for in infancy that were never met were met in therapy. My therapist believes that the longing of unmet needs will always be there even if you are 100 and the need has never been met. She saw it as her job to meet those needs as best she could by just being there. It did require me to commit and show up, even if I didn't want to. Now, I can actually look at a soothing list and am able to sooth myself in many ways. Our work was done at termination.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Calilady

1. How long were you with your t?

About 6-7 years

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session?
I got very depressed after having spine surgery, her office was an hour away and it was just too much trouble to get there, I just stopped going no termination session I cancelled sessions and did not make any more

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated?
I was too depressed to mourn

4. Why did you terminate?.

See number 2. About a year and a half later I did call to have a session but my insurance no longer covered her.

[Wonderfalls]

I saw him for 15 years. He told me a year ago he was retiring so I guess what we went through was a very long termination. I do miss him a lot--there are so many things I want to tell him. My new therapist just isn't as funny or as cultured or as smart, but maybe he has other qualities I will discover. I think it makes it worse that they closed the office and even turned the building into something else. I know that there's no way I can reach him. Also bad because he was my psychiatrist too, so had to be replaced by two doctors. (The new pdoc gives me my same drugs but of course we don't have much relationship.)

[lucozader]

1. How long were you with your t?

A year.

2. How did you go about ending things? Such as, was there a termination session?

I think I decided about a month in advance and we agreed to end when it had been a year.

3. Was there a mourning period involved, after you terminated?

No. I cried a fair bit right after the final session but then I didn't feel anything or think about him much after that.

4. Why did you terminate?

I just felt like nothing was really happening, I wanted to try something (someone) else.

[East17]

T1 - just short of 2 years. Abrupt ending due to circumstances - not my choice or therapists; no time to say goodbye or end gradually. My job finished and I couldn't see her anymore due to time, distance and cost. That was nearly 4 years ago. I was absolutely devastated and still miss her. She was the best therapist I've ever had.

T2 - just about a year. Ending wasn't my choice, we tried to have a gradual ending process of 2 months but I finished it half way through as it was just too painful, I felt totally let down and rejected.

T3 - started seeing T3 about 6 months after ending abruptly with T2 as I was in crisis. Have now been seeing her on and off for just about 2 years. Originally weekly, but now more on ad-hoc basis than regular; usually when I'm in feeling desperate. Not as good as T1 but better than T2.