[goatee]

My T missed our scheduled Skype session today. When I texted her to check if we were speaking, she said we were and that she had screwed up and she quickly Skyped me about a half hour late. She wanted to make up the time at the end so that was fine, but I actually couldn't because I had to get to work. But that's fine, my problem with it is that when she was apologizing, she told me that she had had me down at 11 instead of 10 and that that's how the mistake happened. But then when we were on skype and 11 o'clock came, another patient arrived and she didn't seem surprised. So I'm just confused how she could've thought I was at 11 if she knew this other patient was at 11. Would you think your T had lied given this situation?

[precaryous]

Maybe she doubled-booked. We, as human beings, make mistakes.

Dunno, if this is her first mistake like this, I'd let it go. If she makes it a practice, bring it up.

[lucozader]

Yes, I would see that as a lie, and not a very clever one either...

[goatee]

I don't care about the mixup at all. She was apologetic and she tried to make up for it. And yes, we are all human and all make mistakes. But I just hope she didn't lie to me. One of the things that matters the most to me is how she is so scrupulously honest. We had something a few months ago where it looked to me like she was lying about it and I asked her about it and she had an explanation that totally made sense and I realized that she wasn't lying at all. I'm hoping it's the same with this but I can't imagine what it would be. I don't want to mention it because it just seems nitpicky but I just want to be able to hold onto the fact of knowing that she's totally, totally honest. That is important to me and makes me feel safe.

I used to worry about my therapist lying to me and her response was that she would never knowingly lie to me. When something came up about a group I was involved with and her family name all over it, I swore that she was the biggest lier this side of hell. She spent 90 minutes on the phone, on a Sunday afternoon trying to calm me down. It turned out she wasn't lying to me.

A similar situation to yours happened to me earlier this year and the therapist lying to me never came to mind.

[AllHeart]

"One of the things that matters the most to me is how she is so scrupulously honest."

Maybe after she realized the mix up with you being at 10, she realized she had mixed up her 11 slot also. Maybe the person she had scheduled for 10 was the 11 caller. Could be any kind of mistake. If you find her scrupulously honest, I'd trust that she wasn't lying.

[ruh roh]

At first I thought yes, lying, but Allheart makes a great point. She might have had you and the other client switched around on her schedule, so you were on her schedule for 11 and her 11 was on her schedule for 10. She might have thought her scheduled 10 was late until you texted and then realized her error. If you otherwise trust her, I would go with this version until you can find out from her why she said that.

[Calilady]

I had this happen to me. It wasn't enough for me to call her out on it, but maybe I should have, being as though I didn't forget it.

For the first time, I didn't get a confirmation text from her for the appointment I had. When I showed up, she wasn't there...she said her kid had fell and hurt her arm. They were in the ER, etc. I was skeptical because it just happened to coincide with not rec'g the confirmation text.

I kinda put it to the side, but didn't forget.

Our t relationship ended because it seemed that she lied about getting out of another appointment with me, saying a relative had died and she had went out of town. Didn't seem to be the case, but by that time, there was little trust. She had cancelled 4 times in as many months, all on Friday's.

I dunno about yours. It could go either way. I do get what you're saying about full transparency and your t being honest with you. If she's otherwise honest, I'd prob try to believe her.

[neverending]

This just happened to me. I went to my appointment n my T was surprised to see me. Had told someone else that their appointment was at my time. When T checked appointment book I was scheduled and other patient after me. So T had to call other patient and correct their appointment time.

[Pain94]

My T once double booked me and another client. It was clear by the look of shock and embarrassment in his face that he did not mean too. I was about to cry but he worked it out and saw me. Of course I'm not sure of the factors.

I agree though she should have been more honest, she obviously lied if she wasn't surprised by a client being there.

[Erebos]

To be honest I couldn't care less, he's my pdoc not my lover. If he makes a mistake, he can tell the truth of it or not, so long as I get my slot I don't really care.
I also don't care if he cancels, if he had something else to do it's none of my fkin business so long as it's not costing me.
I often bail on appointments without telling him, it's not personal to my pdoc, I Just had something else to do.

If it effected his treatment of me somehow then maybe I would be hacked off, but I can't see why it would.

Originally Posted by goatee

I don't care about the mixup at all. She was apologetic and she tried to make up for it. And yes, we are all human and all make mistakes. But I just hope she didn't lie to me. One of the things that matters the most to me is how she is so scrupulously honest. We had something a few months ago where it looked to me like she was lying about it and I asked her about it and she had an explanation that totally made sense and I realized that she wasn't lying at all. I'm hoping it's the same with this but I can't imagine what it would be. I don't want to mention it because it just seems nitpicky but I just want to be able to hold onto the fact of knowing that she's totally, totally honest. That is important to me and makes me feel safe.

I think it's very, very important for you to bring it up with her. It's not nit picky at all. You need to feel safe & have the right to feel safe & if you have any doubts, you should definitely bring it up. If it is a genuine mistake on her part, she will put your mind at rest. If not, then I would suggest, she's not going to be the right t for you. This is grist for the mill, for them. I'm sure she would be pleased for you to bring it up, especially as you are showing a side of you where you struggle.