[kismetie]

So I have a new therapist. I've only seen her about four times so far, once every monday.

It's been about a year and a half since I've gone to therapy so I'm still adjusting.

My new therapist is nice but . . . she's still earning her last bit of hours/credits and is still in her doctorate's program so she hasn't graduated yet.

I'm not sure if she's ever been depressed before and I want to be open about her being so green and new to the field but my last session with her last monday rubbed me the wrong way.

I know what her intention was, but it just ended up making me feel worst. She more or less was trying to help me see the positive things going on in my life since I'm so hard on myself and said I have a good life compared to most and that should make me happy.

I immediately felt my walls go back up and became even more dismissive as what she said annoyed me to no end.

I know that, but it doesn't change the fact of the matter and that's that I'm still ****ing depressed.

This was towards the end of the session so luckily it ended after that and I left.

But as I walked to my car I became angry. Annoyed with her and questioning her credibility to effectively communicate (like who tells a depressed person something like that? to simplify it like that? seems like a very rookie mistake or move) and downright pissed at myself.

I let that happen. Maybe I should have communicated better, but I have a problem as it is expressing myself and telling someone when they are wrong without fear of ****ing whatever. I was mad at myself because I shouldn't be depressed but I am and I'm too weak to fix it on my own. I got so irrationally upset sitting in my car I thought about maybe hurting myself (even though I knew I wouldn't).

*
Maybe I kind of feel like I just need someone with more experience honestly. I don't know. But the last session had me filling apprehensive for the next.

I'm going to try and bring it up to her and I assume I'll make up my mind from there.

[malika138]

Her comment sounds like a rookie mistake to me too! A few therapists ago my t was still finishing her hours. In the end, she didn't have the experience to handle severe depression and

Possible trigger:

when I called her about active sui intention, she said we'd talk about it next week - which gave me permission, in my mind, to go ahead. After me spending 4 days on the MICU, she dropped me.

Basically, I'm trying to say that when we're talking about severe mental illness, experience matters.

[eclairparty98]

Gosh, a very similar incident happened between my new therapist and I two sessions ago. I was opening up to her about a particular problem to which she responds with a reference to the Paralympics and how she ''takes her hat off to them'' as if to insinuate what I'm going through is so insignificant and irrelevant. Of course, things for me could be so much worse. It just wasn't helpful hearing this from a therapist.

I totally understand your concern - like you, I also left my session furious and feeling rather demeaned and with what I had to say being somewhat diminished. No client should be made to feel like this as therapy is a place reserved for comfort and sharing without unhelpful, unnecessary judgment/comparisons. You're not alone - I, personally, would feel much better talking to someone with years worth of experience in therapy.

I really hope you either get a new suitable therapist with whom you feel a lot less guarded around or things improve with your new one

[yagr]

Originally Posted by kismetie

I know what her intention was, but it just ended up making me feel worst. She more or less was trying to help me see the positive things going on in my life since I'm so hard on myself and said I have a good life compared to most and that should make me happy.

Personally, I would end a relationship with any mental health provider, regardless of educational level or experience, who told me what I should feel.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by yagr

Personally, I would end a relationship with any mental health provider, regardless of educational level or experience, who told me what I should feel.

Agreed! Since you're only 4 sessions in, I would recommend looking for a more experienced therapist instead. It doesn't sound like this new one will be helpful.

[kismetie]

Thank you so much for responding everyone (:

I thought maybe I was just overreacting, so your input is appreciated.

I don't see her again until wednesday since monday is a holiday and closed but I'm going to have to work up the courage to let her know want she said rubbed me wrong and let her know that I think I would like someone with more experience . . . . like no hard feelings, right?

Trying to get you to change like that implies you are unacceptable as a depressed person. Tells you it's not ok to be how you are (regardless of intent). That's what would bother me anyway. It's most helpful for me to have someone who understands and shares in my sadness with me but at the same time, affords me some hope.

Reminds me of a child and mother. Mother: "you shouldn't be moping around the house because your dog died. Think about all the children who have no dogs". Puts guilt into the child's superego--the shoulds, woulds, coulds rather than accepting who he was when he was feeling vulnerable. Those messages over and over get deeply rooted in personality.

Like Eclair's too. I'm very proud of the Olympians too. And those who are said to have died with cancer with grace, but that doesn't mean I'm less of a person for not being able to be graceful when I die of it. Everyone should be accepted. There's too much emphasize on being positive, imo, our culture looks down on being negative or not so strong, etc. But if there were not weak people, there would be no strong people. Ying and yang.And if everyone was positive all the time, life would seem like a creepy stepford world or twilight zone episode.