[precaryous]

On particularly bad days, what do you tell yourself that convinces you to put one foot in front of the other?

[atisketatasket]

I think of this image.

[DP_2017]

The main reason I do anything in life is my dog... so even if I wanna give up on life, I look at him and remind myself he needs me, it keeps me going

Honestly beyond that, I have no idea.

[stopdog]

Probably if I had to come up with the three things that have to happen no matter how I feel at any given moment about anything - it is that the pets need to be cared for, my classes have to be taught, and I have to show up to represent my clients in court. When I get really bad - I send the pets to a friend's house, file motions for continuances, spend very little time at school except for the required class/office hour and watch opera on youtube until it passes.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Probably if I had to come up with the two things that have to happen no matter how I feel at any given moment about anything - it is that the pets need to be cared for and I have to show up to represent my clients in court. When I get really bad - I send the pets to a friend's house, file motions for continuances, and watch opera on youtube until it passes.

Yay for pets! For sure a priority

[growlycat]

I remind myself that as bad as things are things really could be worse. And worse and worse.

[ElectricManatee]

When things are really bad, I try not to listen to anything I'm telling myself. Then I bundle up in a big fuzzy blanket and watch back-to-back episodes of Scooby-Doo.

[MessyD]

"Don't think about it, just do it", those are for the things that are priority and need to be done, like going to work. Also "others count on you or might be upset with you" but I might not care enough at times. I also try to remind myself that it can't last forever, and that there will be a better day.

[frenchiebean]

i make mental tally of what the minimum for the day is. if it is a work day then get up get dressed go to work and do my job. i remind myself that if i lose my job things will be only that much worse. i usually end up having a decent day.
if it isn't a work day, and I don't have any obligations, i am allowed to stay in bed as long as i want, even if that means all day. my game, my rules lol

[InnerPeace111]

I remind myself that this too shall pass. Then I persevere and only do the things that are necessary for that day. Bad days for me include lots of self care.

[Astrada]

The bad days for me is when I feel totally down on myself and my thinking is a blank. So I tend not to do anything. And just carry on, always hoping I'll feel different tomorrow, which mostly comes true.

I distract myself with looking at stuff on the internet, do art work if I have the motivation, or talk to people about their things primarily. I even use PC in this way sometimes.

Work can also be a powerful mood changer for me as mine is quite technical and requires a lot of attention and cognitive processing. Getting immersed in a work project (I don't need to be in my workplace for it and can do a lot from home or anywhere with a computer) can refocus my mind pretty well unless I am in a very bad way and really lack motivation and attention span.

And often I pretty much just ignore my mood and feelings (especially anxiety) and do whatever I have to in the moment. I was told by some that this is dissociation and not healthy, but it works for me well as long as I do take care of the things that trigger or exacerbate it instead of neglecting.

If the bad days are conditional (not just random moods but due to difficult events/situations), it is never a good strategy for me to procrastinate much, but giving myself some time to calm down before deciding/acting can be important.

I have learned over time that most of my bad days are either due to random physiological fluctuations or to unexpected practical difficulties and my neglecting self care and fixing practical things. So confronting these head-on tends to be the best remedy. I usually have much less problem dealing with more purely emotional things, interpersonal conflicts/challenges etc.

This too shall pass.

Bad days are inevitable; that's the way life works. The bad times are temporary and apparently I've managed to live through all of them so far, so I can assume I'll make it through whatever the current crisis is also.

It does me no good to go into panic mode or cease to function (I don't have that option; I have responsibilities.) Because I don't have that option, I put myself aside and do whatever has to been done for the time being, knowing that those emotions will be there when I have done whatever has to be done.

I've been having to practice this a lot in the last three weeks. My father has had two strokes. Things had to been done, decisions had to be made, communication with others had to happen, mutual support for all involved was required for all of us. Still had to work and grade papers and do the bills, etc.

And just in the past two days, my husband had a post-surgical emergency I had to deal with. Emergency calls had to be made. I had to stay together in order to make decisions and be sure he was taken care of medically and supported emotionally. Am I tired? Would I like to curl up into a ball and block it all out, to just cry and not deal? Sure? Not an option right now. This too shall pass and I will be okay.

Bad days are not exclusive to me. They are a pretty universal experience. Even when the bad day is as small as just feeling low and overwhelmed in general, I've learned those days are temporary and I've always come out the other side. I remember to breathe: probably one of the most important things to tell myself -- really. I remember to stay in the moment: looking in fear and dread at what might be coming in the future is just catastrophizing and hopelessness inducing: looking with remorse or grief at the past is honestly unhelpful. I remember that my emotions are probably pretty normal and "forgive" myself for them. And I put one foot in front of the other until I've walked through that day and on to the next.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry about your father and husband, lola. Thanks for your post. I'm having some very bad days now; I'm trying to breathe and go on with my daily life. It's hard with not enough sleep, and a headache. I try to think "the sun will come out tomorrow." I feel like I'm sleepwalking.

[nottrustin]

That I have 3 amazimg children who need the mom. I miss my mom everyday. I have a close relationship with all of my kids and even though they are all older 16 and 2 adults they still rely on me for a lot.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

This might sound silly, but when I feel it's hard to put one foot in front of the other, I very literally pay attention to my feet.

I put on my favorite shoes or soft socks, the most comfortable pair I own or socks my mom knit for me, and if my toes are raggedy I go get a pedicure or paint them myself.

It doesn't really fix or change anything, and I feel a little silly even sharing it, but maybe it's that focusing on making one little bit of me feel ok helps.

[velcro003]

i tell myself that i must get out of bed and shower and go to work. if i do not do that, i will be fired, then i will lose my apartment, then i would have to move back to NY to live with my dad--which i don't want to do.

i also have to feed my cats.

I don't have any innovative answers but am convinced consistency and habit development are key to well being for some of us with emotional issues and trauma history. Habits kill procrastination and anxiety.

I'm getting back up to a 7 day a week exercise routine and am doing much better. Sleep, breakfast, vitamins, etc.

Hope you're doing ok.

[annielovesbacon]

In all honesty, I am motivated by guilt. I go to work because the guilt of not going makes me sick. When things are really bad, I stay alive because of the guilt associated with betraying those who care for me and have invested in me.
When I get to where I can't get out of bed, not even motivated by guilt, I make a to do list. I know it sounds silly. My list is literally something like:
1. Pull the blanket off.
2. Put both feet on the ground
3. Sit for a while and decide what to wear.
4. Get dressed.
5. Brush your teeth.
6. Go to work.

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

In all honesty, I am motivated by guilt. I go to work because the guilt of not going makes me sick. When things are really bad, I stay alive because of the guilt associated with betraying those who care for me and have invested in me.
When I get to where I can't get out of bed, not even motivated by guilt, I make a to do list. I know it sounds silly. My list is literally something like:
1. Pull the blanket off.
2. Put both feet on the ground
3. Sit for a while and decide what to wear.
4. Get dressed.
5. Brush your teeth.
6. Go to work.

I can relate to the guilt being a big motivator. Not sure if that's a good things since guilt makes me freeze up in lot of other things, but in case when it's hard to do anything, guilt does do the magic.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

In all honesty, I am motivated by guilt. I go to work because the guilt of not going makes me sick. When things are really bad, I stay alive because of the guilt associated with betraying those who care for me and have invested in me.
When I get to where I can't get out of bed, not even motivated by guilt, I make a to do list. I know it sounds silly. My list is literally something like:
1. Pull the blanket off.
2. Put both feet on the ground
3. Sit for a while and decide what to wear.
4. Get dressed.
5. Brush your teeth.
6. Go to work.

This is exactly me too even though I also feel guilty for 'me too'ing you

[captgut]

I can relate to the guilt thing too. Also I'm motivated by fear... I know if i won't get out of bed, my parents will blame me and shout at me. I know my boss will ask "Where are you?" and I will have no answer.

So I wake up and go to work.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by MessyD

I can relate to the guilt being a big motivator. Not sure if that's a good things since guilt makes me freeze up in lot of other things, but in case when it's hard to do anything, guilt does do the magic.

Yeah it's probably not a good thing that I'm motivated by guilt...but hey, at least I'm motivated!

Originally Posted by Carmina

This is exactly me too even though I also feel guilty for 'me too'ing you

Don't feel guilty, it's nice to hear someone else has the same experience

[nikon]

sometimes i don't feel like i continue to put one foot in front of the other; ie: i just freeze and zone out emotionally and mentally until someone else actually helps me out of the crisis. (i'm not talking about physically walking and physically freezing)

keeping me going sometimes is my nephew, who is at that age where kids are really experiencing everything for the first time and really taking things in, and i hate the thought of doing something that would taint his entire life.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

Yeah it's probably not a good thing that I'm motivated by guilt...but hey, at least I'm motivated!


Don't feel guilty, it's nice to hear someone else has the same experience

Thanks - i am literally having to do this this morning, one foot in sock, next foot in sock etc...should be in work by now but I'm so slow this morning and just want to curl up and die