[shakespeare47]

You disagree on some topics?

I like humanist and existentialist psychology.

but sometimes she isn't quite honest and manipulates me "for my own good." (at least that is my perspective).

I don't like her view of Freud or recovered memories.

[Fernwehxx]

That would depend on how severe our disagreement was. If she believed in some kind of therapy that absolutely didn't work for me, then there wouldn't be a point in continuing to see her.
If it were just one thing here and there, I would probably be okay with it.

[Amyjay]

It would depend on the topics. For example I have recovered memories of (verified) abuse. Some parts of me still insist that abuse never happened. So I would not be able to see a therapist who didn't believe in recovered memories because she would harm me rather than help me.
I think disagreements can be tolerated with some topics but definitely not with core issues.

[Wonderfalls]

I would call my long therapy essentially existential and certainly humanist. I wouldn't be able to go to a therapist who believes in unadulterated Freud. I accept that Amyjay really did benefit from recovered memory treatment, but I'm afraid I would still be dubious.

I've objected to the few times I've felt manipulated--for "my own good" or not--and received a sincere apology. It's patronizing and inimical to fair and effective therapy I think.

You get my viewpoint I'm guessing. Although I might be able to adapt. if they did too, to certain differences, your situation is far beyond what I would put up with.

[fille_folle]

It depends on the topic of disagreement. I can tolerate certain things, like endorsement of things I consider to be pseudoscience, as long as it's not forced on me. I am also an atheist, and although I'm not anti-religion, I wouldn't be able to deal with an overtly religious therapist. I'd probably also be turned off if I found out that a T held radically different political views from me.

No, Not on any topic that would change my opinion of her. I even told her, though I kinda lack curiosity of who she really is as a person... I honestly didn’t want to know because I was afraid her answer would be something that made me dislike her.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

I accept that Amyjay really did benefit from recovered memory treatment, but I'm afraid I would still be dubious.

I just want to clarify that I haven't had "recovered memory treatment." While I have "recovered memories that I did not have access to previously" that did not come about because of therapy or any kind of "recovered memory treatment". My therapy is about reducing my dissociation.
That said, I would not choose to work with a therapist who is not specifically trained in the neurobiology of complex trauma for the simple reason that they wouldn't know how to deal with what happens in front of them. People who are not trained often don't believe that traumatic memory is stored and recalled differently to non-traumatic memory.
Recovered memories don't appear out of the blue. Mine came out of an extensive (but dissociated) trauma history that had multiple impacts on my psychosocial development throughout every stage and aspect of my life. The evidence of it all is there. I just didn't (and still don't) remember much of it. I didn't encode it as narrative memory. Those experiences remained unintegrated into my sense of self.
I really am wanting to convey to you that recovered memories are not a result of "recovered memory therapy". They are a result of extensive developmental trauma that affects every aspect of one's psychological well-being and development. Therapy just happens to often be the first place it is psychologically safe enough to look at it.

[shakespeare47]

Thankfully our political views are very similar.

Part of my problem is that I both want and fear someone helping me. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll be manipulated into believing or doing things that I later regret.

It's not an unfounded fear. I have had the experience in the past...but not just with therapists.

It depends.

- If we disagree on political views or similar, it should not become the focus of our session. And if I were to talk about an upsetting fight with my mother about, or fuelled by, our political difference, he/she would need to be able to focus on my feelings and the fight, not on the politics.
- If I tell him/her not to do something or go on about something/focus on something, he/she should drop it.
- It probably sounds silly, but I need the therapist to verbally accept my point of view even if we disagree. For example, saying "You have a point" or "I hadn't looked at it that way" instead of fighting me. It would stop the argument and would leave me feeling heard.

Of course, I won't see everyone. For example if a T doesn't believe me because my symptoms or experiences are uncommon, I would get out.
Also, I don't have, and have never had, sexual or romantic feelings towards anyone, which might have been because of outside factors or it might be asexuality. If a T were to not believe in asexuality as a sexual orientation, or were to discount all other causes (the 'outside factors') I would probably not be able to work with him/her.
I don't think I would be able to work with a therapist that is too naive and blind to the fact that there are dangerous people out there and that you can get hurt. He/she wouldn't need to fear for them, just accept it.
If a therapist worked and thought from a modality I don't agree with, e.g. Freud's "everything is about sex" thingy, I'd run.

[Out There]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Thankfully our political views are very similar.

Part of my problem is that I both want and fear someone helping me. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll be manipulated into believing or doing things that I later regret.

It's not an unfounded fear. I have had the experience in the past...but not just with therapists.

This is something I've struggled with too and the fear is not unfounded - I've had it from others too. My T is existential and I wouldn't be able to deal with too much Freud. Conversely , I'm quite a Jung fan.

[shakespeare47]

On the other hand... I really like her, and I hope she likes me, too.

I can be rude, and I'm sometimes I fear that my rudeness has changed her attitude towards me.

[kecanoe]

Like many other posters, it depends on what the disagreement is about and how they handle it. I have never seen a Freudian T, I don't think I would like that, so I probably won't ever seek that out.

Religious differences are ok as long as they are not pushy about it. T3 and I think differently, but she asks what I believe about things and is respectful about it. She will sometimes suggest that I tap into my faith for a specific purpose; eg can you think of an example of someone who practiced forgiveness in your faith tradition?

If I like a T, I would probably try to be clear about what I want/need in terms of things that we disagree about and see what happened.

[Chummy2]

That depends, I think. PrevT has something which what I strongly disagree. I;m just against it. That's my moral view. It's part of why I struggle to go back to her. Why I feel I shouldn't. Other part is how therapy ended.
I also have some disagreements with current T, but at the moment I keep seeing her.

If T would push her views on me, then I think I would probably stop seeing that T.