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confused_77
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Default Dec 21, 2017 at 02:58 PM
  #1
I sometimes feel like i become so preoccupied with being heard and understood and put so much focus and on the relationship with therapist that anything else is becoming less important. i am at the point where working through what is going on in therapy is my main concern. its making me distracted from regular life and takes over my thoughts. i am also struggling in another relationship atm and transfer so much of this on the therapist. its almost as if when i feel the other person is annoyed with me i can sense the therapist annoyance more. if its going better in the other relationship I feel more secure with the t. any thoughts on that?
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Anonymous59090
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Default Dec 22, 2017 at 03:28 AM
  #2
I think for me in the earliest years that was true for me.
But before therapy, my problems were driving my life. All I could see in people was what they could do for me to fill the hole that was me. None of my relating to people was emotional honesty. I just took people hostage.
Than along come this T. She was all I could think about.
But for me, that's what needed to Happen because all my early life there had been no one that had cared enough about me. I was so emotionally thirsty that I got drunk on T.
As the work/years progressed, the thirst lessened. I didn't have to use others to get emotionally drunk on.
I begun to have room inside of me to treat people as people. Some I can take or leave. Others I feel closer to in a new way.
But I also enjoy me now. Thsts the relationship that needed the most work on. Other people have their own (often untreated issues) and I'm able to recognise that now too so can choose what I want to do about them.
It's surprising after a few years of Theale how my view of life has changed. I thought everyone else use to be the grown ups and I was childish. Wow has that changed.
So all in all. Take where you are right now and accept its where you need to be right now.
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confused_77
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Member Since Dec 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 131
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Default Dec 22, 2017 at 04:18 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouse_62 View Post
I think for me in the earliest years that was true for me.
But before therapy, my problems were driving my life. All I could see in people was what they could do for me to fill the hole that was me. None of my relating to people was emotional honesty. I just took people hostage.
Than along come this T. She was all I could think about.
But for me, that's what needed to Happen because all my early life there had been no one that had cared enough about me. I was so emotionally thirsty that I got drunk on T.
As the work/years progressed, the thirst lessened. I didn't have to use others to get emotionally drunk on.
I begun to have room inside of me to treat people as people. Some I can take or leave. Others I feel closer to in a new way.
But I also enjoy me now. Thsts the relationship that needed the most work on. Other people have their own (often untreated issues) and I'm able to recognise that now too so can choose what I want to do about them.
It's surprising after a few years of Theale how my view of life has changed. I thought everyone else use to be the grown ups and I was childish. Wow has that changed.
So all in all. Take where you are right now and accept its where you need to be right now.
I like how you say that you used to think that everyone else was the grown ups and you were the child. Thats how i feel. As if I need a validation for every thought I have: 'yes, its good enough; yes its not immature, yes you have the right to feel that way'. I don't think I get drunk on the attention because nothing is ever enough. its more than I crave it more than anything.
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