[Jo1994]

About 3 weeks ago I showed up for an appointment. After waiting ten minutes I texted my counsellor saying that I must have made a mistake and that I had our appointment written down for 2 today. Was it on a different day. She stated that it was scheduled for 2 tomorrow. I said, okay my bad. I have work so will need to cancel and asked if I needed to pay her. She said you don't have to pay me my dear. Then i said sorry about that mix up. Have a good day. She responded with a smiley face. I felt bad for wasting her time and haven't messaged her since. She didn't offer to rebook but i did kinda end the conversation by saying have a good day. I'm not sure if I should contact her again or just wait or assume counselling is done.

[Spangle]

Originally Posted by jolina1994

About 3 weeks ago I showed up for an appointment. After waiting ten minutes I texted my counsellor saying that I must have made a mistake and that I had our appointment written down for 2 today. Was it on a different day. She stated that it was scheduled for 2 tomorrow. I said, okay my bad. I have work so will need to cancel and asked if I needed to pay her. She said you don't have to pay me my dear. Then i said sorry about that mix up. Have a good day. She responded with a smiley face. I felt bad for wasting her time and haven't messaged her since. She didn't offer to rebook but i did kinda end the conversation by saying have a good day. I'm not sure if I should contact her again or just wait or assume counselling is done.

I think you should definitely contact her & re schedule another appointment. We all make mistakes & her text response was really friendly (as were you) Don’t give up before you even start. It’s not the counsellor’s place to phone you, but I bet she hopes you do. Bite the bullet & reschedule. Good luck.

[lifelesstraveled]

Go ahead and reach out to see if you can schedule something. I feel like a lot of the times (for me) my therapist waits for me to tell her what I need as far as support from her (it's a hard thing for me to do).

I wonder if your counselor is just waiting for you to say "hey, I'd like to reschedule..."

Good luck.

[Sunflower123]

Please contact her and reschedule. Everyone has mix ups. Sending big hugs.

[Lemoncake]

I would contact her and reschedule for another appointment.

[Jo1994]

Thank you, I did send her an email and we have an appointment set up.

[Jo1994]

She cancelled my last appointment and I asked if she could let me know when she could book and she said yes but hasn't contacted me since.

[Spangle]

Originally Posted by Jo1994

She cancelled my last appointment and I asked if she could let me know when she could book and she said yes but hasn't contacted me since.

Phone her & jog her memory. Maybe she just forgot, or maybe she didn’t want to appear too pushy.

[Jo1994]

I didn't contact her and she hasn't contacted me. I don't feel she wants to counsel me anymore. I've made no progress and obviously can't push myself enough to change. She's said herself she doesn't know what I'm getting out of this. And this has happened a few times where she hasn't contacted me back. I think it's time to just end.

[guilloche]

It sounds like she might just be a little scattered? How long were you seeing her?

For her to say something like "I don't know what you're getting out of this" seems really odd to me, did you talk about then when she said it? Was there any more context?

Do you like her and feel like you are getting something out of it? In the end, that's really what matters - you're hiring her, and if you feel like it's helpful (even if it's just helpful because it's a human that you can go and talk to once a week about what's going on in your life) - then you should probably try getting back in touch with her to set something up.

I'd be very wary of thinking that she doesn't want to counsel you, unless you explicitly said something like that (I've been kicked out of therapy - it is not a subtle thing that gets hinted at, if it happens, you will know!). It's easy to think the worst, and if you haven't checked it out, you might be wrong.

But, it's totally your choice!

[mostlylurking]

There is some kind of guideline, whether ethical or professional, about therapists not cajoling clients into continuing therapy. I guess there's a conflict of interest in trying to get someone to keep coming considering that the T is getting paid. Some of them just don't contact clients as a rule, they wait for clients to contact them to schedule appointments. I wouldn't take her non-response personally.

Another possibility is that she is a bit disorganized? If you feel like seeing her wasn't helping you a great deal, and if she was unreliable about scheduling and communicating about scheduling, then perhaps it would be better to try again with someone else?

[Jo1994]

I'm really attached to her but feel like she's avoiding me and isn't interested in counselling me. She said she would contact me and didn't bother. I feel like i've reached out enough times and like i'm bugging her. I don't even know what I would say to her. Like Hey? you never let me know when you can rebook so does that mean you aren't?

[NP_Complete]

Have you called her to let her know you want to schedule an appointment? You'll need to be the proactive one here. If she's not responsive, can you look for another therapist?

[Jo1994]

No, I haven't called, I don't know what to say. I've already asked for her to let me know when she can book showing I intend to book with her.

[NP_Complete]

"Hi T. It's Jo. I'd like to schedule another appointment with you. Do you have anything available? Can you please give me a call back at phone#."

She may be waiting for you to ask for an appointment. Maybe there was some miscommunication. I don't know, but if you want to see her, you're going to have to call her. She doesn't read minds.

[Jo1994]

I messaged her by email. She said i could always text her and that she would let me know some dates later.

[stopdog]

If you want another appointment - I would think contacting her would be the way to go about it.

[malika138]

Originally Posted by Jo1994

I messaged her by email. She said i could always text her and that she would let me know some dates later.

It must be frustrating to keep being pushed along. I'd wonder why she couldn't just give you dates now.

I understand it is hard to consider changing T when you feel attached to one. But sometimes a change is a good thing. It seems like it has been 6 weeks since she's seen you.

[Jo1994]

It's been 2 and a half months. She gave me dates later that day, just didn't have her book she writes appointments in on her.

[zoiecat]

Why don't you try calling?

[Jo1994]

I have an appointment set up for next week, I'm hoping of a way to bring up this to her.

[mostlylurking]

I'm glad to hear you set one up!

Perhaps you could start with "The reason it took me a while to contact you wasn't because I didn't feel I needed a session, it was that I felt [confused / hurt / worried] when you didn't get back to me about scheduling."

Regarding what she said, that she doesn't know what you get out of seeing her, it might be useful to simply tell her what you get from it, and that it's important to you. It would be a way of bringing that up, because that was an odd thing for her to say, but hopefully it would also motivate her not to drop the ball on scheduling in the future!

[Jo1994]

I'm seeing her tomorrow-nervous