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BlueJeans00
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 03:12 PM
  #1
How do you get over a love transference over an ex-therapy that ended therapy abruptly?
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 03:23 PM
  #2
Time and distance. I think that's the only way. One thing I've noticed over my years on PC (I've been here longer than my profile suggests) is that people do lose the intensity of feelings for ex Ts over time. For me it took about 18 months to no longer miss him or feel love for him. It differs but I don't think I've seen anyone on here still longing for a T they saw longer ago than say, 2 years or so.
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 04:22 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon View Post
Time and distance. I think that's the only way. One thing I've noticed over my years on PC (I've been here longer than my profile suggests) is that people do lose the intensity of feelings for ex Ts over time. For me it took about 18 months to no longer miss him or feel love for him. It differs but I don't think I've seen anyone on here still longing for a T they saw longer ago than say, 2 years or so.

Thanks for your response.
My therapist and I ended badly at December.
I did start to feel happier and stuff but I soon realsie my problems as to why I came to therapy in the first place still existed. Thatt therapist was no help.

Besides realising that.
I keep crying say if someone upsets me and then it leads to about my therapist leaving me.
I still have stupid sexual thoughts about my therpaist and day dreaming bumping into him..
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 05:58 PM
  #4
Are you seeing a different T now? If so, they could help you process it.
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 06:11 PM
  #5
Time and working with a new, well-boundaried T
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 08:37 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Are you seeing a different T now? If so, they could help you process it.
Kinda I will only see them constantly at February so it's really hard right now
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Default Jan 05, 2018 at 10:27 AM
  #7
Speaking from experience (my ex therapist terminated me after two years and a half with a letter), I agree with Runcible Spoon: time and distance. The first two months after termination were rough not gonna lie. After four months it was no longer painful. Now after a 13 months I can say that I rarely think of her. Once in a while she pops into my mind and it feels like it happened in another lifetime. I would also suggest deleting/throwing away any memories you have of your ex therapist such as emails, recording of sessions, letters, pictures, etc. I know it can feel impossible to get rid of something that seems precious but those things are reminders and they feed the obsession (imo). Better to make a clean break in my experience. Good luck
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Default Jan 06, 2018 at 08:19 PM
  #8
For me the key was to stop going to therapists, and to trust myself to work out what happened, with the help of peer support and lots of reading.

Also, reviewing the therapist, publicly, on Yelp, was helpful.
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