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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 244
7 61 hugs
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Jan 04, 2018 at 03:12 PM
#1
How do you get over a love transference over an ex-therapy that ended therapy abruptly?
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 Anonymous52976, LonesomeTonight
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jan 04, 2018 at 03:23 PM
#2
Time and distance. I think that's the only way. One thing I've noticed over my years on PC (I've been here longer than my profile suggests) is that people do lose the intensity of feelings for ex Ts over time. For me it took about 18 months to no longer miss him or feel love for him. It differs but I don't think I've seen anyone on here still longing for a T they saw longer ago than say, 2 years or so.
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 LonesomeTonight, Myrto
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 244
7 61 hugs
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Jan 04, 2018 at 04:22 PM
#3
Quote:
Thanks for your response. My therapist and I ended badly at December. I did start to feel happier and stuff but I soon realsie my problems as to why I came to therapy in the first place still existed. Thatt therapist was no help. Besides realising that. I keep crying say if someone upsets me and then it leads to about my therapist leaving me. I still have stupid sexual thoughts about my therpaist and day dreaming bumping into him.. |
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| Anonymous52976, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,608
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.2k hugs
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Jan 04, 2018 at 05:58 PM
#4
Are you seeing a different T now? If so, they could help you process it.
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alpacalicious, malika138
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7 542 hugs
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Jan 04, 2018 at 06:11 PM
#5
Time and working with a new, well-boundaried T
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alpacalicious, LonesomeTonight
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 244
7 61 hugs
given |
Jan 04, 2018 at 08:37 PM
#6
Quote:
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| LonesomeTonight, malika138
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Belgium
Posts: 1,179
10 471 hugs
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Jan 05, 2018 at 10:27 AM
#7
Speaking from experience (my ex therapist terminated me after two years and a half with a letter), I agree with Runcible Spoon: time and distance. The first two months after termination were rough not gonna lie. After four months it was no longer painful. Now after a 13 months I can say that I rarely think of her. Once in a while she pops into my mind and it feels like it happened in another lifetime. I would also suggest deleting/throwing away any memories you have of your ex therapist such as emails, recording of sessions, letters, pictures, etc. I know it can feel impossible to get rid of something that seems precious but those things are reminders and they feed the obsession (imo). Better to make a clean break in my experience. Good luck
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| BlueJeans00
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alpacalicious, BlueJeans00, LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
9 752 hugs
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Jan 06, 2018 at 08:19 PM
#8
For me the key was to stop going to therapists, and to trust myself to work out what happened, with the help of peer support and lots of reading.
Also, reviewing the therapist, publicly, on Yelp, was helpful. |
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DP_2017
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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