Do you ever feel your T has given up on you and is hoping you will quit? Or they just suddenly terminate you?

Do you see it coming or are you blindsided?

[Wren_]

i had one give up after two sessions - made it harder with my future t to trust it won’t happen again

Originally Posted by Wren_

i had one give up after two sessions - made it harder with my future t to trust it won’t happen again

Geez!
Thats terrible

my t of many years gave. up on me one night out of nowhere. i was completely blindsided. she just said “I’m done.”
it devastated me for mamy years.

[maybeblue]

The only time I actually had a therapist terminate with me rather than the other way around was when one was moving to a different state. That was a bummer because he was really good.

However, I have had many, many times when I *felt* like a therapist was going to fire me. That's a huge fear of mine actually, that I am so screwed up that even a therapist can't handle me. Also that they secretly hate me--even though they say they don't. Sometimes therapists will say something like "I'm having trouble knowing how to help you,"--usually when I'm crying and angry and not talking. And what I hear is "I hate you and I wish you weren't my client." But when I'm not depressed I can see that they were really saying "I wish I knew how to help you, can you tell me?"

A decent therapist won't just suddenly terminate a client. Maybe if the client is making threats toward the therapist or her family I could see it. But just because the client is difficult? It shouldn't happen. I can see a therapist disclosing that they are having difficulty, but that should be with the goal in mind of figuring out how to help the client, not get rid of her.

I had one quit on me. She told me she wasn't equipped to deal with my issues. Mostly I rolled my eyes and then searched for a new therapist.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Ex-T abandoned me. She said the relationship got in the way, and because I refused higher level of care.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Ex-T abandoned me. She said the relationship got in the way, and because I refused higher level of care.

The relationship got in the way how?

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by Coming up tails

The relationship got in the way how?

Not completely sure. She didn't answer any of my questions. She just said "If I don't leave you, I'll be abandoning you." Maybe her feelings got in the way of her being professional? Maybe she felt my attachment got in the way of my progress? Idk. The session lasted only a few minutes.

[here today]

My last T said that she "did not have the emotional resources" to continue therapy with me after 6 years. Before she said that I had had the feeling sometimes that she wished I would quit. And I had sometimes thought that I should quit or find somebody else. But I had seen so many already. She did find someone to refer me to but I wasn't interested in any more therapy.

I have given up on them.

[Chummy2]

I felt that way with PrevT and I think she used her pregnancy to get rid of me. I am after all still with replacement T and not with her, so...

Bu I've also given up on T's. Even the one I trusted disappointed and hurt me with how she handled things. I can't trust a T anymore, that would be stupid.

[kecanoe]

None of my Ts have given up on me. One retired, but told me way in advance that he was retiring (like a year before).

Rather my Ts have stuck with me through it all. I have been seeing T1 for 11 years now. T2, I made the decision to go from three Ts to two. Still seeing T3.

T1 has been steadfast and tenacious. Has withstood all sorts of emotions and acting out. Has continued to be there as scheduled, continued to allow out of session contact, and even schedules long weekends for when I am out of town (I see him M and F).

T3 has changed things up, reconsidered, refocused as needed. She has been ok with me wondering if I should quit. She has been ok with months and months of me being resistant and stubborn. She has been ok with consistently running way over in session.

I would be devastated if T1 terminated. But I am confident that he won't.

I wouldn't like it if T3 terminated, but I could stand it.

[ruh roh]

One gave up on me and I did not see it coming. She gave no notice. So now, of course, I fear this happening again.

[maybeblue]

It makes me sad reading this. I don't think it's ethical to just dump someone, and certainly not without notice. If a client has problems that a therapist can't handle, I think the ethical thing to do would be to try to get supervision with a more experienced therapist or at the very least find the client someone new and offer some extra sessions to ease the transition.

[stopdog]

I doubt any of them gave up on me. If anything, I probably gave up on therapy. I don't know how a therapist would be in a position to give up on me.