To come to the doctors with me.
I have a health worry that I'm trying to ignore. Not very successfully. Causing anxiety.
T was concerned today - first day back after Xmas - I told her I need to get my head straight. T was trying every way to get me to go (have had horrible experiences with medical profession and do not wish to add to them) and I absolutely refuse. Told her I'll just have to drop down dead.
Then she said "what if I came with you"
I was floored I thanked her but said I Couldnt take her up on that offer. (would feel way wierd) but it has put her in my head with it all. It doesn't feel so terrifying and I've inched slightly, ever, ever, so slightly toward feeling it maynot be an inpossbilty going, WHEN I FEEL READY.

She continues to impress me.

[kecanoe]

Wow. T really has your back.

I think it is really positive that you said no. I think your instinct that it would be weird is accurate; I think it would be a very problematic thing for her to do. What would happen if you needed her to go with you the next time and the time after that? Or if you also needed her to go to the dentist with you? Or if all her clients needed her to accompany them to the doctor or to the bank or to a job interview or to a benefits assessment? You did well to maintain a boundary. It seems to me that she might have enabled you to achieve the same progress (inching towards the idea of going) without her suggesting such an unrealistic mechanism.

[fille_folle]

Originally Posted by long_gone

I think it is really positive that you said no. I think your instinct that it would be weird is accurate; I think it would be a very problematic thing for her to do. What would happen if you needed her to go with you the next time and the time after that? Or if you also needed her to go to the dentist with you? Or if all her clients needed her to accompany them to the doctor or to the bank or to a job interview or to a benefits assessment? You did well to maintain a boundary. It seems to me that she might have enabled you to achieve the same progress (inching towards the idea of going) without her suggesting such an unrealistic mechanism.

I just want to point out that we don't know what OP's health problem is. It could be something very serious. I don't think his or her T was wrong to offer. I also disagree with your characterization of this offer as a slippery slope. Medical appointments, where a person has to be touched intimately by a stranger, are completely different from going to the bank, a benefits assessment, etc. Applying all these other situations and questioning what would happen if all the T's clients needed this treatment isn't logical. Besides, in my country, at least, there are community support programs that do provide support for people struggling with mental illness in all the situations you mention.

[Elio]

My T has come to my hospital bed after 2 of my surgeries. The last one she was unable to due to other commitments but would have. We talked on the phone both after surgery and the day following surgery. The one today, I didn't ask though we have emailed significantly the last 2 days and talked on the phone today.

I know hospitals might feel different because people have all types of visitors verse a doctor's appointment. The bottom line though is you don't have to explain to anyone who you have with you for support.

Originally Posted by long_gone

I think it is really positive that you said no. I think your instinct that it would be weird is accurate; I think it would be a very problematic thing for her to do. What would happen if you needed her to go with you the next time and the time after that? Or if you also needed her to go to the dentist with you? Or if all her clients needed her to accompany them to the doctor or to the bank or to a job interview or to a benefits assessment? You did well to maintain a boundary. It seems to me that she might have enabled you to achieve the same progress (inching towards the idea of going) without her suggesting such an unrealistic mechanism.

I understand your points completely.
But I've been with T 15yrs. She knows what she's doing, believe me. She knows me.

[unaluna]

It reminds me of the time current t told me he WANTED to get me a birthday present. Took me a while to figure it out, but the "gift" was becoming someone who someone felt that way about.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by long_gone

I think it is really positive that you said no. I think your instinct that it would be weird is accurate; I think it would be a very problematic thing for her to do. What would happen if you needed her to go with you the next time and the time after that? Or if you also needed her to go to the dentist with you? Or if all her clients needed her to accompany them to the doctor or to the bank or to a job interview or to a benefits assessment? You did well to maintain a boundary. It seems to me that she might have enabled you to achieve the same progress (inching towards the idea of going) without her suggesting such an unrealistic mechanism.

For me and the hospital visits, we have dealt with:

• the wished I'd asked and her wondering about offering; and post op going very very badly (hysterical crying for her).
  
• Me struggling with asking for fear of rejection, asking, her accepting. It was a very positive experience
  
• Me struggling with asking because the procedure did not contain an emotionally stressful portion, asking and her accepting. It was a positive experience with some questioning about parts of it - some feelings that came up.
  
• Me not struggling with asking - acknowledging it was a want and not a need, her unable to visit but able to call. It was acceptable, I still wanted her to visit. I was not devastated or hurt that she could not. It did not affect our relationship negatively at all.

And now with this one, it was also on session day, so I asked for a call and got one well before surgery, I did not ask if she could visit me, I knew she had something in the evenings on Mondays. Her offering and holding my slot because surgeon said I could get a pass to go see her if surgery did not happen today. We did several emails before surgery and a few after. I don't feel the need to have a call right now - sure the want is there, it is not a longing. I will see her on Thursday if I get discharged. Currently I am able to hold onto some of the encouragements she said in her last email.

So - yes the possibility exists that it would go bad. The possibility also exists that it strengthens things needed for the client to heal, such as feeling safe, feeling it is ok to receive help, believing that someone will be there for them (as they can without it being equivalent to caring/love aspects in the relationship). I think it really does depend on the people involved, the issues being addressed, the modality/methodology being used, and relationship involved.

[Wonderfalls]

It would be not unusual at all and certainly not out of bounds for her to offer to call your doctor and explain the circumstances. Using her own private time (and it could be some time) to see you in a physically intimate situation is at the very least awkward and could disturb your doctor since part of her job is to form a working medical therapeutic relationship with you, herself.

Woke up and booked a GP appointment this morning. There's a 2week wait. Got T this morning. I know she'll be pleased, but my anxiety doesn't want to see her pleasure.

Crazy stuff.

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by long_gone

I think it is really positive that you said no. I think your instinct that it would be weird is accurate; I think it would be a very problematic thing for her to do. What would happen if you needed her to go with you the next time and the time after that? Or if you also needed her to go to the dentist with you? Or if all her clients needed her to accompany them to the doctor or to the bank or to a job interview or to a benefits assessment? You did well to maintain a boundary. It seems to me that she might have enabled you to achieve the same progress (inching towards the idea of going) without her suggesting such an unrealistic mechanism.

I don't think it's an ethical problem at all. I think it's a very generous offer and I think it might actually work. When clients have actual phobias, not just anxiety about certain situations, but actual phobias, it isn't uncommon for the therapist to be present for exposure therapy. Ultimately the goal is of course for the client to be able to face the fears alone, but in the beginning the therapist is there to remind the client of coping strategies.