Male or Female therapist

and did you chose the gender of you therapist and why?

I refuse to see a female therapist because I have hostility towards female therapist. I think it is because my mother was the abuser and I can not relax with a female in a power differential situation. I also know men therapist cause me to attach to them quickly perhaps because I did not have a male guardian in my life but I did have a step father that was abusive so I cant figure this out.

Depends — I have equal parts mommy issues and daddy issues.

But, my current therapist is a woman — so, right now, mommy issues >>>>> daddy issues.

Female, I was abused by a man and I talk about it in therapy so I much prefer to talk about these things with a woman.

I was abused by my mother and father so I have issues with both but when I was looking for a therapist basically I was looking for someone who had the skills to help me with my trauma. It just so happened that the one I chose who took my insurance and have the necessary skills was male. I've been very pleased with him. He is always very mindful and respectful to the fact that he is a man and I am a woman with an abusive past. He stays is distance he always ask permission to come closer and he always ask permission to voice his opinion on something. He told me a few times that he's always mindful the way he responds to people with abusive past so that he does not come off as too forceful for pushy.

My previous therapist was female but she did not have the skills to help me. She also self-disclose a lot and gave her opinions on things outside of therapy even when I didn't agree with them. That was actually one of the reasons I stopped meeting with her.

For me I guess it doesn't really matter whether they're male or female it's more about the individuals approach.

I chose a male therapist because I didn't feel like I would connect well with another woman. Although when I started therapy I wasn't consciously aware that my husband was abusing me, I think working through the abuse issues with a male might ultimately be a good thing.

Male because of the way my mom has always been with me, i can't open up to women... I would have no doubt quit after a few sessions

I could never see a male. Both father figured hurt me dearly plus I have a brother who is a child abuser. I could never trust a man as a therapist. I had a wonderful relationship with my mom and a couple of aunts.

I went for a female, normally I relate better to males generally, but for T purposes I really just felt I'd be more comfortable seeing a female.

I’m female and very deliberately chose a male therapist. My mom was the abusive one growing up, and although my dad was passive and allowed it to happen, he very rarely inflicted the abuse. In general men have always been safer for me. I’m fine with women my age, but I find it very difficult to trust women who could be my mom’s age.

There’s a small part of me that wonders if finding a therapist to fit that mom role would ultimately lead to greater healing—but my male T is amazing and I’m pretty much never working with anyone else. The dynamic works well for me. My male therapist is gay, so there’s never been a concern with inappropriate behavior (this shouldn’t be an issue regardless of sexuality, but it was a nice coincidence to find a gay male therapist, as I’ve been close to gay men for almost two decades.)

I only hire older than I am straight women. I don't want to run into them in my community so I choose straight. Older because otherwise I would chew them up and spit them out. Women because I would not be able to abide a man.

I am the same. My first t in 3rd grade was male, but then again, I didn't choose him! Next 5 have been women. Current t will say things like, "if I were your mother", I think, to demonstrate how a mother might interaction with a daughter in a healthy way.

I always see female therapists.

I find when it comes to talking about emotional stuff, I can't talk to males- or rather, I can. but only half of what I want to say I am able to say.

I never chose it, luckily they've all just been female anyway

I saw a female T for 6 years but had some negative maternal transference for her that interfered--didn't help that she was my mother's age. Been seeing a male marriage counselor and felt more comfortable and open with him--but as most of you likely know, developed strong paternal plus some erotic transference for him. When I switched individual T's 5 months ago, I intentionally picked a male, figuring that, if I did shift my transference from MC onto him, I would at least be in a place where I could work it out. (I think that's starting to happen, incidentally.) I feel more comfortable talking to him than to ex-T, even about really personal things (like sex). Part of that may be his personality vs. my ex-T's, but I've also generally felt more comfortable talking to men than women throughout my life.

I prefer a male therapist, though I have had some female ones too, briefly.

I'm not sure why to be honest.

Personally I would feel more judged by a woman. I find it easier to talk to men- maybe because I know I can be charming and I liked the attention I used to get. Most of my abuse was mainly by my father though.

I chose a female T (I'm also female). I looked for a woman. I can't imagine talking to a man; can't say exactly why. But I prefer talking to women.

My T is male. I didn't seek out a male T. I contacted about 10 (4 male, 5 female) and judged based on their initial e-mail response to me. Six months in and I think I chose wisely.

That is true ... my five female therapist ended up running for the door with what I told them

The last one lied and said I wanted a male therapist on the record ... She hated me like the others ... I told her NO I would only tell a male therapist 10% of what I have told you ...

She lied anyway

I am a lesbian -I don't really get men for the most part.

I will not see a guy. It just wouldnt go anywhere. I can't open up to men, and I dont feel understood.

I'm not sure I have a preference individually at least. When we were looking for MC I wanted a woman. I think subconsciously I knew this was something not OK in my marriage and wanted to feel more connected through gender to the MC.

For my current T it just happened organically that I happened upon something she had written that struck a cord with me and so I reached out to her. She was the first T I ever really formed a bond with, and ultimately I think I'm happier with a female but it wasn't something I sought out.

I've only ever seen the one T. My PCP office just made the appointment for me when I was in a bad way. I'd never really thought about a preference, but was mighty surprised when a male T showed up.

His maleness freaks me out sometimes (and, boy, is that humiliating to admit) but it's worked out. I'd seek a male T again.

I chose the therapist who came highly recommended by my pdoc. She happened to be a woman. I would still have picked my pdoc's recommendation - man or woman.

I've coincidentally always had female T's and male pdocs (although I was my first 2 pdocs only a few times each. And my current pdoc's sessions with me are rather therapy-y). Funnily enough, I can't imagine it any other way.
Well - I can't imagine having a male T, so I don't know whether it would work. And I can't imagine having any other pdoc (first because I'm scared of doctors and not (anymore) of him; second because our treatment, with us doing therapy-y things, is pretty much unique around here - pdocs are mostly med management, part/leader of the treatment team, and may do therapy-y things in a crisis, but not for 3-4 years the way we do; third because I really like him (as in, how he acts in session). He's extremely normalizing and has only overreacted once. And he's VERY anti-force, big on autonomy and everything).

But anyway, around here choices are limited, especially for pdocs, so you'll mostly have to deal with whoever you are assigned. Basically, less complicated cases are dealt with by small practices (and only then if the GP or his staff can't handle them), and complicated cases by big practices. You can choose which practice to go to - and in small practices you might also be able to switch T's more easily (of the 2 or 3 T's present), or switch to a different practice altogether (as they generally have a short, or no, waiting list: big ones are supposed to start your treatment within 14 weeks, but half a year is much more likely). More of a 'you're the consumer, you're paying, you decide'. In big T organizations/clinics, you are basically assigned someone and have to deal with them. It's not easy to switch T's if the T feels you two still have opportunities - if they think a different T (new insight, more expertise, different modality) might help, they would probably want to set you up with a different T. You have some input of course but it's rather limited. Also, waiting lists are LONG and most clinics only have 1 pdoc anyway per location (and if they have more, there'd usually be 1 for depression, 1 for autism, 1 for .. So you'll go to the one they decide fits your problems the best) anyway. More of a 'insurance pays us to do a job and we decide how we do that' thing.

By the way, my (our) family T is male, I've had some trauma therapy from a male T (I did have more input in choosing my trauma T's btw, was allowed to 'vet' them for the most part), and when I was inpatient this summer my doctor (I think you English lot call it a psychiatrics resident? Someone who is a basic doctor, and studying to become a pdoc. Is supervised by a pdoc) was female.

Eta: health insurance (there's basic and extra, basic is mandatory by law) covers a lot around here, there are limitations of course but generally you could say that if you have a DSM diagnosis, you should be able to get the evidence-based treatments covered 100% by contracted practicioners and depending on your policy, partly to fully by non-contracted ones. (Partly - I think 75% from up to the rate the company lists as normal - in cheap policies, fully ('free doctor's choice') in more expensive policies (also up to the normal rate)) No referral = no coverage (and GP's are not supposed to refer you if it's not necessary, e.g. mild or recent depression or anxiety/panic would first be dealt with by them and their office staff), no DSM diagnosis = no coverage, no evidence-based treatment = no coverage although there's an exception for if there is no evidence-based treatment (then the treatment research most indicates that works will be covered), and most meds can be prescribed off-label and will be covered like on-label (which can be anything from no coverage to copay to full coverage). The ministry decides on the basic health insurance minimum coverages, although they are allowed to cover more (not less). And there's a deductible.
Result is that waiting lists are LONG especially for psych care, and that a lot of providers (basically all that need a referral to go to, which is mostly everyone but physical therapists - although that isn't really covered by basic insurance (there are a few exceptions for partial coverage by certain conditions) anyway) see it as your privilege that they allow you to come, not as their privilege that you pay them. So you have to take what you're offered and be satisfied with that. (You can voice your preferences, but they might or might not be listened to. Most likely 'not'.)

Female, I'm uncomfortable around men. Nothing they did, their size intimidates me though.