[MRT6211]

Today T hugged me and told me how proud of me she is. It’s literally the ultimate therapy dream come true. Now, why do I feel uncomfortable and like I want to go hide after that? 😅😊

[Merope]

Aw, I'm glad this happened to you. You probably feel uncomfortable because you spent a lot of time prior to this thinking about it. Maybe you played it all out in your head and when it happened it took you by surprise because you didn't quite expect it? And now you're feeling strange because you haven't had time to process it in your head.

I remember when my T told me he thought I was good looking in a session (not in a suggestive way, he was trying to make a point) I felt both giddy and uncomfortable. The uncomfortableness came from me not quite knowing how to process that information because I was not used to older men/paternal figures treating me nicely (massive daddy issues).

But yes, just take it for what it was (she obviously cares/supports you) and try not to overthink it too much.

[DP_2017]

That's great. Hugs from my T were weird at first too but that's due in a huge part to hugs being weird to me in general.

Anyway, congrats! Enjoy that memory

I'd feel uncomfortable because I'm an adult. It would feel slightly infantizing.

[JuanF]

Most therapists do not hug their clients because it is often considered a flagrant boundary violation - even when the client greatly desires it. I think hugs are potentially traumatic in that they cause the client to fall more in love with their therapist than is good for them.

Just my opinion.

[growlycat]

I’m glad you got your hug. I find them very healing. My long term t felt it was important for me to ask for them because I had to learn to ask for what I need and experience getting it (vs never having my needs met early in life)
Current t has made the decision to offer them and I always accept although I know we don’t have to.

[bounceback]

I am guessing because you were probably shamed as a child for being "to needy" and wanting that or it is related to abuse of some kind and touch in general. It might be worth exploring with your therapist. Anyway, I am glad she gave you that hug.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by bounceback

I am guessing because you were probably shamed as a child for being "to needy" and wanting that or it is related to abuse of some kind and touch in general. It might be worth exploring with your therapist. Anyway, I am glad she gave you that hug.

I agree about exploring this. For me, my hug issues are related to childhood shame so it makes sense, it's been good to talk about it