[MRT6211]

So as a background, I’m currently in a treatment program where I go for meds and therapy and there’s 9 therapists, an intern, a nurse, and a doctor that run classes all day. You get to pick and choose classes (with your therapist’s approval) based on your needs, and can be there for up to 5 classes a day, but minimally need to attend 1 class a week. So in other words it’s a very personalized program.

Right now I am taking a ton of classes and I’m there every day of the week. I see the pdoc once a month and my T once a week. I’m always able to talk to her any day for at least like 5-10 minutes if I ever need it. And if she wasn’t available, I can talk to any of the other Ts, and I know them all well.

I started the program in August in a really rough state, right after a very serious suicide attempt. I have been doing so, so much better lately. I’m embracing skills and changing my mindset and really on my way to recovery. I’m probably at a more stable psychiatric state now than I have ever been in my life. It’s amazing what this program has done for me in 7 months.

In a few months, I will be returning to medical school. Today I had session with T and she brought up that in 6 weeks, when the next class cycle starts, she wants me to start coming for a lot less classes and not come every weekday. I know this is definitely what needs to happen and the natural progression of things, because once I go back to school I’ll only be able to attend 1 class a week and see T, but this still is scaring the heck out of me. Part of me thinks the only reason I’m doing so well is because I’m there so often. I fear that if I step back on my treatment before I’m back in school to keep me busy, that I will fall back into depression because I’ll have too much free time. T said we will come up with a plan for my days off to keep me on the right track and that we’ll make sure to have them in the middle of the week, not Monday or Friday so that I have a long weekend. This all sounds very reasonable, but I’m still so scared. I’m stuck in my emotional mind right now.

T said she is pushing me (she’s good at doing that...) and will continue to push me because it’s necessary. Another way she’s doing that is the thing that really is bothering me in my mind. When I’m back in medical school, it’s likely that she’ll be coming to me at or around school for our sessions. So to ease into that, she wants to start (in 6 weeks) doing this thing where every other week we do my session somewhere out in the community. That’s so scary to me. It feels like other people will hear and judge me if I need to talk to her about emotional stuff. Like what if I’m having suicidal thoughts and need to talk about them with her? Not exactly something that I want to do in a Starbucks. I’d almost rather drive 30 minutes to see her even when back in school, because her office feels comfortable and safe to me.

Anyway, she’s doing all of this because she doesn’t want anything to be a shock to my system when I go back to school and everything with my treatment steps back significantly. I know she’s doing the right thing. I know she has my best interest in mind. But I feel kind of frantic about it.

Just pretty much venting here. Also wondering if anyone has experiences with having sessions in the community?

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by MRT6211

So as a background, I’m currently in a treatment program where I go for meds and therapy and there’s 9 therapists, an intern, a nurse, and a doctor that run classes all day. You get to pick and choose classes (with your therapist’s approval) based on your needs, and can be there for up to 5 classes a day, but minimally need to attend 1 class a week. So in other words it’s a very personalized program.

Right now I am taking a ton of classes and I’m there every day of the week. I see the pdoc once a month and my T once a week. I’m always able to talk to her any day for at least like 5-10 minutes if I ever need it. And if she wasn’t available, I can talk to any of the other Ts, and I know them all well.

I started the program in August in a really rough state, right after a very serious suicide attempt. I have been doing so, so much better lately. I’m embracing skills and changing my mindset and really on my way to recovery. I’m probably at a more stable psychiatric state now than I have ever been in my life. It’s amazing what this program has done for me in 7 months.

In a few months, I will be returning to medical school. Today I had session with T and she brought up that in 6 weeks, when the next class cycle starts, she wants me to start coming for a lot less classes and not come every weekday. I know this is definitely what needs to happen and the natural progression of things, because once I go back to school I’ll only be able to attend 1 class a week and see T, but this still is scaring the heck out of me. Part of me thinks the only reason I’m doing so well is because I’m there so often. I fear that if I step back on my treatment before I’m back in school to keep me busy, that I will fall back into depression because I’ll have too much free time. T said we will come up with a plan for my days off to keep me on the right track and that we’ll make sure to have them in the middle of the week, not Monday or Friday so that I have a long weekend. This all sounds very reasonable, but I’m still so scared. I’m stuck in my emotional mind right now.

T said she is pushing me (she’s good at doing that...) and will continue to push me because it’s necessary. Another way she’s doing that is the thing that really is bothering me in my mind. When I’m back in medical school, it’s likely that she’ll be coming to me at or around school for our sessions. So to ease into that, she wants to start (in 6 weeks) doing this thing where every other week we do my session somewhere out in the community. That’s so scary to me. It feels like other people will hear and judge me if I need to talk to her about emotional stuff. Like what if I’m having suicidal thoughts and need to talk about them with her? Not exactly something that I want to do in a Starbucks. I’d almost rather drive 30 minutes to see her even when back in school, because her office feels comfortable and safe to me.

Anyway, she’s doing all of this because she doesn’t want anything to be a shock to my system when I go back to school and everything with my treatment steps back significantly. I know she’s doing the right thing. I know she has my best interest in mind. But I feel kind of frantic about it.

Just pretty much venting here. Also wondering if anyone has experiences with having sessions in the community?

I met with my therapist in a downtown area for the first couple months after he started his new private practice. He did not have an office yet. It was weird to get emotional, but I did at one point. If your therapist is forcing you to meet in the community ,i think that is a bit concerning. I agreed to it with my t. It wasn't an ultimatum situation. This also violates laws around healthcare.

[ElectricManatee]

I think there are two separate issues here: the step-down in care, which seems understandably scary but sounds like could be a good transition for you in your circumstances, and the pressure to do therapy in public spaces, which is a very bad idea in my opinion. Your privacy can't be guaranteed, so frankly I'm surprised your T is even considering it. Most therapists are of the opinion that you need a private, quiet place to do therapy. I think you are completely justified in not wanting to take the show on the road, so to speak. Can you just meet in her office once you're back in school? If you're willing to make the drive, why is that not a possibility?

[MRT6211]

I’m sure if I was really insistent on it that she would let us do therapy in a private place. She didn’t say this has to be a permanent thing, she just wants me to try it because it will be easier and less stressful for me to do it that way during school. She’s trying to get me used to leaving my comfort zone and trying new things. I’m hoping that if I really don’t like it that she’ll back off. I imagine she would. She really does look out for what’s best for me.