[JuanF]

Hi. I’m new here and this is my first new thread post. I feel like I need to put this out here because I see all the anguish associated with intense transference and attachment.

I was in fairly traditional analysis for 6 years. 3-4 Times/week on the couch. Seeing her because I always took something when I was overwhelmed by anxiety and fear - food, drugs, alcohol. Throughout my analysis, I came to understand why I did what I did. I understood the reasons I behaved as I did. Fully understood and accepted.

I experienced full-on, maximum transferences thru the years. Maternal and intensely erotic. All of it discussed in depth and constantly. It was the main topic for several years. Very intense.

I terminated my therapy due to several reasons. Just because I understood why I did what I did, that knowledge did not stop me from doing what I did. My transference had lessened and I felt - hey, I can get out now. So I did.

Fast forward 2 years. My sister and both parents died, all within a 4 month period. I had several strokes, sustained several pelvic and spine fractures and my partner requested a divorce. I went to drug rehab (very difficult - imagine having a kidney stone and a baby simultaneously) and came out on the other side. Disabled and forced to retire from a position I loved,

I felt I needed some therapy to help me transition to my new life. Who else to call except my old therapist?

Now I see her once weekly. I sit up on the couch, eye to eye. She knows me. The transference is gone and I look at her as a good, good friend. I am receiving exactly what I need now - without the baggage of intense transference - and am very pleased with the help and listening ear she provides.

My analysis gave me the insight and ability to use her for the maximum benefit. Very helpful to me. I told her - I can not believe I am sitting here talking with you and NOT feeling those overwhelming longings and pain of not having you. It amazes me. No emails, tearful after hours calls and all the drama that occurred during my analysis.

She is an excellent therapist - warm, caring and interested. A completely different therapy this time and one that I could not have without the struggles of my analysis.

7 years ago I could not have believed that I would view her so differently. But I do. And it is good.

Thanks for listening. I just needed to write it down.

[SalingerEsme]

This is so inspiring. Sorry for all the pain you've faced, and thank you for sharing your experience of surpassing transference.

[DP_2017]

That is good, I like seeing happy stories on here

I was in fairly traditional analysis for 6 years. 3-4 Times/week on the couch.

So for those of us who go once a week, that translates to 18 to 24 years to work through and resolve the transference. lol

Interestingly, back when I started, I would have done that if I had the money too. Knowing what I know now after psychoanalytic therapy, I would done some sort of therapy that didn't involve transference analysis.

Sorry i read too fast before responding! Didnt see about your struggles. Im glad you have support and no longer have to deal with transference.

[feileacan]

Good to hear about these kinds of stories as well.

I'm in 4xweek psychoanalysis now, the 5th year is ending soon. I have gone through periods of different intense transferences: longing, hating, devaluing etc etc. I haven't experiences erotic yet, this is something I still expect to come.

Meanwhile it is pretty peaceful now - I haven't had the need to contact between sessions for quite a long time now already, and weekends and vacations cause me no problems.

For me it is so that if I could start again now knowing what it will bring with itself I would definitely start again!

[TeaVicar?]

That is a tough journey you've had. I'm glad you feel happy with your therapy situation now and it's a little easier.

How do you think you managed to work through the pain and intense feelings? Was it just a matter of time? Did you ever feel stuck and tempted to leave?

[Anne2.0]

I am amazed at all you have been through and glad that therapy has been useful to deal with the grief and the loss. In my experience (and I was in already in therapy when my spouse was dying), it was great to have a place to unload about all the grief related stuff in my life.

I haven't experienced a deep transference like you describe but I have had two periods of therapy with 15 years in between. This second one has really moved me forward even though I ended the first one feeling done. And I was, at least at that point.

[JuanF]

Originally Posted by TeaVicar?

That is a tough journey you've had. I'm glad you feel happy with your therapy situation now and it's a little easier.

How do you think you managed to work through the pain and intense feelings? Was it just a matter of time? Did you ever feel stuck and tempted to leave?

It just came to me over time. I felt less dependent on her and was able to analyze myself. It was like, hey!, I can do this myself. I knew I could check back in if I needed, and did, 2 years later.

I also greatly enjoyed having the extra money.