[Mountaindewed]

I saw a new doctor today. He seems to be really focused on what happened 10 years ago instead of how I’ve been doing for the past 5 years. I’ve been totally fine and I’ve been pretty much living a normal adult life, yet he seemed really focused on the 20 hospitalizations I had in the past, and not really caring that I’ve only been in the hospital once in 10 years.

So yeah I was kind of annoyed. I want to focus on how I’m feeling and doing now and not stuff that happened in the past, that I don’t find relevant anymore.

Why would he be so focused on the past and not caring how I’m doing now?

He does seem interested in my sleep issues. Which no one else has before.

The only funny part of the session was when he was asking me about what meds I am on. I had brought them with me. I told him, and I told him I take Ativan. He said to me “you know that can be addicting?” And I said yeah.

Then right before I left he looked at the meds and he quickly flipped the Ativan around to see how much I had taken. He only did it with the Ativan.

He did have it on his list to refill, and it was pretty funny, but geeze, is every doctor now against benzos?

I think he will work out though.

[ruh roh]

Yes, this sounds standard. And for good reason, considering how the over-prescription of controlled substances had led to drug use that's ruining lives and literally filling streets with drug addicted houseless people. My town has been destroyed by this and is one of many that have sued big pharma.

People like yourself get swept up in this as collateral, but I don't think it's going to change.

[CantExplain]

One of the ways therapy works is by helping you to process pain fromthe past that casts a shadow over the present. Therefore T is interested in past events. There might be something important hidden there.

Whrn I first started my therapy journey. I use to think it was funny whrn anyone took things, serious, took me serious. I'd never had that before. Being taken seriously.
It was a sort of nervous funny. I enjoyed the sudden attention/focus, but it felt so unfamiliar.

I suppose he is investigating the source of your problems? Benzos can be really addicting and are harmful for memory.

[nottrustin]

Unfortunately, benzos are so over used today thay it casts doubt on anybody who has a prescription. Good doctors are very selective in who they prescribe them to and keep a close on it. I work in the mental health field and see so much abuse. That being said there are many people who take them as prescribed.

I personally have a script for them. I take maybe a one month supply in a year, partially if I take it to many days in a row it effects my memory. Pdoc and T both wish I would take it more often but I also worry about addiction.

[hprodf]

I think he was trying to understand your issues more than anything and wanted to ensure you weren't abusing any medication. Unfortunately, by focusing on this it can leave you a little frustrated when he doesn't acknowledge your progress (which is great to see btw), especially when you're clearly proud of it (and rightly so).

I wouldn't worry about it, if anything be happy he was trying to understand many key details about you.

[Fuzzybear]

[Mountaindewed]

I see him for the second time tomorrow. I’m hoping he doesn’t want to mess with anything. I’m good with my Ativan, I’m talking about my geodon and my lamictal. I’ve had doctors take me off stuff simply because they didn’t like the drug. I am an adult now so I won’t allow that to happen, but I still worry.

I don’t think psychiatrists necessarily dislike me, but I think they don’t get me. I don’t think they fully understand the weight gain aspect of my reasonings. Or how different I am now then when I was 14.

I just want him to keep everything the same. I don’t want him messing with my medications because he just doesn’t like them.

[Mountaindewed]

He did not mention the past today. I told him not to refill my Ativan since I must have about 80. I took myself off it. He did ask me if I needed more but he was really enthusiastic when I told him I don’t take it much. He kept everything the same. He asked me about my summer plans, and was genuinely enthusiastic about my vacation plans.

I think this is going to work out.

[downandlonely]

Sounds good Boz. Good for you for not taking too much Ativan, and it sounds like you've made a lot of progress.