[Marsfx]

I haven't been in that great a place, now it's outside forces making it worse.
I realized in trying to connect with friends, that didn't even come close to decent listeners that I should probably go back to therapy.
I've come to value the somewhat unnatural and unbalanced therapist/client relationship. I've found that friends will say "oh, yeah me too" before even hearing me out and realizing we're not dealing with the same stuff and it makes me feel completely invalidated. Or they just want to talk about their problems completely, or maybe it's just my friends.

The thing is I'm hesitant about the steps to go back. The thing I liked most about her was that she was adaptable for the most part, so I feel like I should give therapy with her another chance. Seeing how I feel like I can better outline what would be helpful for me.
On the other hand I do want to see if maybe someone else is another fit. Not because of the lack of connection, but because I've learned of therapists that take things off the couch and have physical stuff incorporated. I think I'd benefit from something if I didn't have to feel so restricted to sitting in one place the entire time. I do have ADHD, but manage my hyperactivity pretty well, however I think when I'm trying to open up it's incredible hard to keep that part of me from fidgeting. Toys, spinners, and such don't help much here.

Even prior to learning about these therapies, I kept thinking I didn't want to get off the couch. When I was still in therapy I thought about sitting on the floor a lot, and once I quit I kept trying to figure out how it'd be to return and kept seeing myself sit in the rolling chair across the room.
I'm sure someone can link the feeling of not sitting on the couch to anxiety, or something. But I realized I rarely sit on couches in general. In the waiting room I choose the chair, at people homes I'll stand, choose a chair, sit on the floor, squat. I'd only sit on the couch if I were talking to someone who was sitting on the couch and needed to be closer to hear or concentrate.

Sooo, should I check out other therapist first? Or see my therapist for one session then see others. Part of me wants to see her first to refresh what she was like before seeing others, and the other wants to see others first to see what I like about their approaches and ifs anything within her skill set. And a huge part of me, doesn't want to go over background and getting to know someone new. Also afraid of feeling worse if I don't fit well with new therapist, even if I know it's not my fault. I'll feel like a difficult person anyways.

[growlycat]

I can understand the friend situation. I have felt like friends either talk all about themselves or they are uncomfortable with my darker issues. I feel like I have to censor who I am with people. Therapy is one of the few places where I don’t have to do that.

My therapist and I were talking about maybe going for a walk during session. If you go back to therapy maybe something like that could work for you?

[Marsfx]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I can understand the friend situation. I have felt like friends either talk all about themselves or they are uncomfortable with my darker issues. I feel like I have to censor who I am with people. Therapy is one of the few places where I don’t have to do that.

My therapist and I were talking about maybe going for a walk during session. If you go back to therapy maybe something like that could work for you?

I feel like she might, but I'm not certain... I also thought of doing 90min sessions and maybe if thats a thing she will.

Can I ask why the idea of walking came up? Is it because of stuck feeling, tired of the room, or high energy or anything?

I get the friends thing.
I can't say what you should or shouldn't do.
I hate the sofa. I talk about hating the sofa. The sofa ties into one of my traumatic experiences. They doesn't mean I avoid it. Therapy for me is doing what triggers me.
I tend to fidget finger and feet wise a lot.
Is a way of getting to inner soothe my inner states when I talk.
But I hear u on the friends. It's when I feel grateful I have a T to talk to. Not blaming friends at all. But you know how it is.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Marsfx

I feel like she might, but I'm not certain... I also thought of doing 90min sessions and maybe if thats a thing she will.

Can I ask why the idea of walking came up? Is it because of stuck feeling, tired of the room, or high energy or anything?

I have a hard time dissipating anxiety. Walking helps and it had in the past with another t I used to have

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I can understand the friend situation. I have felt like friends either talk all about themselves or they are uncomfortable with my darker issues. I feel like I have to censor who I am with people. Therapy is one of the few places where I don’t have to do that.

My therapist and I were talking about maybe going for a walk during session. If you go back to therapy maybe something like that could work for you?

Oh yay i hope you do. I walk every time. Super helpful.
I also agree on the friends thing which is why I don't get why t's want you to replace them with other ppl. I'm not gonna be open ans deep with others so...

Anyway good luck op if you go. Its very tough at times but hopefilly worth it