[Yzen]

At my last session, I opened up to my T about a fear that I find difficult to talk about. I don't feel she really understood my fear as I explained it several ways to her. I felt frustrated. She noticed the time, so she ended the session by advising me that I need to push through that fear, hurried me out of her office, and told me that she would contact me to schedule the next appointment because she had to get somewhere. I left feeling like she didn't care about me.

Days later, she still hasn't contacted me about setting up that next appointment. I would not be surprised if I don't hear from her for weeks. I could call and make the appointment myself, but I seem to want to prove to myself that she doesn't care about me as a patient and I need a new T. I don't know if I am overreacting.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I would be upset too if my T told me he wouldn't have time to schedule something before getting me out of the room... of course at some time your T has to end the session. Some clients wait til the last 5 minutes to open up about something. Then the T can't just extend the session time, you will have to maybe delay talking about it for a week. But it's the Ts job to keep the time in mind, and when to end so that you can still pay, schedule, or maybe collect yourself for a minute or two.

I'd also be upset if my T didn't text me within about a day for an appointment if he said he'd contact me. To me this is not overreacting.

Whether you should contact her yourself or not, I can't tell you. If you feel that this is a one time slip up, maybe work it out? If she upsets you all the time, maybe it's better to find somebody who is a better fit.

[SalingerEsme]

Intellectually, we know your T might have had an emergency ranging from her dog having puppies to someone in a car accident or a doctors appointment. Feelings-wise, it hurts and feels personal. I do think Ts are charged with evaluating their own readiness to be present in a session for which they are being paid and trusted. Checking in with themselves is part of their jobs. I feel for you, and would react the same way.

[maybeblue]

That would bother me too, and particularly the part about not wanting to schedule again. Other than this one session has she been helpful/present when you see her? I guess that would make a huge difference to me in deciding to see her again.

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

Other than this one session has she been helpful/present when you see her?

She has been helpful at times, but I often feel empty when I finish sessions with her. I feel she isn't too skilled at ending sessions. I had another T a couple years ago and she had a way of ramping down the conversation to where it felt natural to end. I realize therapists have to watch the clock and have other clients. But when this last session ended and she didn't even have time to schedule my next appointment, it made me feel like she didn't see me as important. Every day that she doesn't contact me to schedule (which she said she would), makes me feel even worse.

I think it is partially an overreaction and partially a sense that I need to explore the idea of finding someone else.

[stopchewinggum]

I would call her, and tell her you've been waiting for her phone call. Then ask why she didn't follow with the phone call for the appointment like she said would. She might have a good reason. She might not, but if you continue waiting, it sounds like you are going to continue to feel worse about the situation.

[cool09]

I think it was insensitive of her telling you to "push thru" the fear. My psych nurse told me to push thru my constant severe irritability and I told him I couldn't do it. I think less of him now.

[Yzen]

Here's an update: My T never called me or emailed me to set up my next appointment, so I sent an email to my T at the beginning of this week to both get a receipt to file with my insurance and see about scheduling the next session. It's been a couple days and I've heard nothing. I could call her but I always get her voicemail and I don't feel I should have to leave messages everywhere to get her to respond.

She has been slow to get back to me in the past. I am fairly certain she will eventually answer my email. I may give it until the end of the week before calling. Anyway, I am going to take this time to consider another therapist. It might be time-- especially since I haven't been getting as much out of the sessions.

[maybeblue]

That does seem inconsiderate. It sounds like she has something else going on in her life that is interfering with her being able to do her job. I can really understand wanting to look for a new therapist.

[fille_folle]

I'm sorry to hear your T is being such a flake. It sounds like a good idea to start checking out other therapists, particularly since you haven't been getting much out of sessions.

[stopdog]

I always think it is good to try out new ones. I am not all that much of a believer in therapist monogamy in general and I think trying out new ones every so often can help clarify and regroup.

[Yzen]

I finally heard back from her. She emailed me a receipt and informed me that she is dropping my insurance provider and raising her rates. Wow....and she didn't even mention scheduling my next appointment. I guess she thinks it is already on her schedule or she doesn't care about keeping me as a client.

I'm done. I've started looking for a new therapist.