Survivors of Unethical Therapy

Absolutely not a stupid question!

It depends on many factors. For myself, it took a negative counter-transference from a therapist in order to start it all. That was after around 5 - 6 months of working with that therapist. Had she simply clarified with me what the problem was, it probably could have been prevented, but instead she decided to assume and that led to a breakdown of trust and communication and ultimately to years of suffering and immense trauma.

Therapists who are drawn to abuse vulnerable patients usually act after they have instilled an attachment from their client. They prey on those who become attached and work in a covert way to keep them dependent and stuck in a trauma bond so that their abuse can remain hidden and behind closed doors. In my case, I wanted to protect my abusive therapists because I was both attached and without additional supports. Therapists are well aware of these things - which is why they can become so dangerous if they want to be. They are trained to help - but that same exact knowledge can be used to harm with impunity.

But it is a multifaceted issue. I could go on and on but really everyone's trauma story is different. I cannot possibly research all the possible scenarios - but I can point you in the right direction.

therapyabuse.org

This is a great resource, it has many professional research studies on these issues, references to literature, stories from fellow survivors and even professionals. There are countless survivors out there and this issue is for the most part suppressed and not acknowledged because it is far bigger than the catholic church scandal.

I hope this helps, feel free to ask as many questions as you want!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Mopey,

I am so happy that you are taking time to read this stuff. It is extremely hard to read and yes - triggering. Your emotional reaction is absolutely warranted and a sign that you are bothered by the abuse; which means that you care. I have to take breaks from all of this too - it can be re-traumatizing. I welcome you to read another thread that I started before this one about the same topics:

BEWARE - Therapy is DANGEROUS

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Found this on Psych Central,

Why is Institutional Betrayal so Traumatic? | The Impact of Sex Addiction

It is about Institutional Betrayal and the effects it can have on those who experience it.

Here is an excerpt from this amazing article:

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

User Precaryous found an amazing article about the 9 - 12% of therapists that ADMIT to having sexual relations with clients. Here is a link to the thread:

Nine to 12 percent of mental health professionals have had sexual contact w patients

And here is a link to the article found on Precaryous' thread.

Nine to 12 percent of mental health professionals have had sexual contact with patients - The Boston Globe

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

This was addressed to HD but I will answer, too:

I had been in treatment with the abusing PDoc for some time, maybe over a year, before sessions definitely turned into something else.

Now, looking back, I can see there was a grooming process where he gained my trust, raised my self-esteem and gradually sexualized therapy.

He had to do this gradually; If he had initially suggested we engage in sexual intimacies as part of therapy at our first appointment as my psychiatrist, I like to believe I would have dashed out and never returned.

But I thought he cared about me, I thought he wanted to help me, he made me believe I was intelligent, reasonable and special.

I was very wrong. He used our sessions to learn I was gullible and unworldly.
Quite frankly, looking back, I think he viewed me as a ‘mark.’ And I was.

At the time, I didn’t know intimacies with a psychiatrist was a felony in our state. I didn’t know it was viewed as unethical. He did tell me our relationship could be ‘frowned upon’ and to keep it to myself. I didn’t know how our relationship could hurt me. Also, I thought he was honestly wanting to help me with a financial situation but I couldn’t have been more wrong!

Now, looking back, I realize I was emotionally, sexually, financially and psychologically exploited by this man. But by the time I started having questions about his conduct, I wanted to believe- perhaps he was a good man who made a bad mistake with me.

He had even treated me horribly in the end when I started to ask too many questions. He wanted to end the physical relationship (I guess) and at the end he told me he had really been intimate with me because he felt sorry for me...like he felt sorry for ‘street people.’ He tried to make it all my fault by saying, ‘You promised you could handle this...Why cant you handle this!’ He lied and told police and lawyers that I was a ‘known prostitute.’ This was the man, the psychiatrist, that I cared about and believed he cared about me.

He had raised my trust and self-esteem and trampled all over it...an ultimate betrayal. He was my doctor! But I wasn’t quite convinced, not yet. I was so foolish!

Then, one year after our intimacies ended (but he was still my psychiatrist !) an article appeared in our local newspaper that he had been arrested for keeping a female patient in his motel room against her will, administering drugs to her and being intimate with her.

That’s when I realized what had happened between us was not a mistake, that I had been a victim, and that there was at least one other victim.

ShouldHaveWalked, this occurred years ago and I’m still trying to figure things out, too.

You are not alone.

This is always framed as an issue with unethical or out of control therapists.

Surely much of this has to do with therapy itself... two people locked in a room, discussing various intimacies, one person in a vulnerable position the other in a powerful position, whole thing shrouded in secrecy.

Everything came tumbling down after I read this:

I agree 110% with you about this!

It is the inherent power imbalance found in therapy

The inherent (potential for ) power imbalance may not affect every client, but I was a "mark" for it, it seems. It's there, for those who are susceptible. Some therapists may not, but there are many therapists who use the therapist-client situation for their own narcissistic and dominance gratification. It may not be as overt as sexual exploitation, but it's there.

Absolutely. That is what I meant.

There's a journal article I found interesting that's kind of about this, but in the context of the relationship between supervisor and the therapist in supervision. It talks a bit about how the nature of therapy can lead to confusing feelings about sex/romantic attraction. It's written in accessible everyday language, not niche subfield academic jargon.

Sex, Supervision, and Boundary Violations:
Pressing Challenges and Possible Solutions
I think it's behind a paywall but I shared it to google drive if anyone wants the pdf link

I've just read another " call out " review for the place I had such a bad experience. The lack of integrity is sickening , people will just not trust if this sort of thing is allowed to continue.

Thanks for sharing this... My heart goes out to you.

Was it in the news? What is a call out review?

I imagine this is causing mixed emotions, on one hand it is triggering and on the other hand it is validating in that its proof you are not alone. I am angry hearing about this.

How have you been coping?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thanks HD , exactly , very mixed emotions I'm trying to deal with. A " call out " is saying something bluntly , telling it exactly like it is , so leaving a review to that effect. It's brought a lot of feelings up again. I'm coping by more processing I guess , like you do from a trigger , but it's no fun while it's ongoing. And it all should be reported.

But will they ever care? From this recent article;

A Deeper Dive into System Change in the Mental Health Paradigm - Mad In America

So very, very sucks. We get "well" enough to experience the justifiable anger, and then are dismissed because of that very thing! We just have to get "weller" than them. . . somehow. . .But as difficult as it seems, accepting that reality kind of helps, in a way.

From IDidItMyWay.

"The tale that I know with the same message is much shorter ."

A guy walks by the swamp and sees someone drowning. He rushes to help them and manages to pull them out of the swamp. The guy whose life he just saved seems unhappy. He definitely has no intention of thanking his rescuer. Our heroic rescuer is stunned by such ungratefulness. He asks the other guy "Why aren't you happy that I saved your life? Why aren't you expressing any gratitude?" The guy responded: "That swamp was my home."

I too used to be that heroic rescuer who tried to pull people out of the **** they were in until I realized that they were actually pretty comfortable being there and had no desire to change anything or to be "rescued" so to speak. Since then I stopped trying to rescue anyone. I have compassion for those who are in harmful situations, but, in terms of helping them, I only go as far as giving them information on how they could help themselves. Once I've done it I take no responsibility for what they do with it. Not my circus, not my monkeys."

First let me say that I've been slowly making my way through this extremely lengthy, thought-provoking thread about unethical therapy for a while now and have only just gotten to this entry, #91. (People's experiences here can be pretty gut-wrenching to read). So it may be that by the time I get to the end of the thread I'll find that a number of people have responded to this particular entry in one way or another. But I just had to stop now and respond to it myself, because this little story stopped me right in my tracks. I think because it's an issue in my own life right now. And in whose isn't it, really?

I kept thinking it over, and finally realized that my own mind was catching on it because something was left out. Namely, what about the part at the beginning where the swamp dweller cries out piteously for help? They write, say, to a forum like this, and report that they are terribly depressed, so miserable they want to die, life is horrible, etc, etc. (And I hasten to add that these are generic complaints, unspecific to any party here, though the general idea will be familiar to anyone who frequents this forum).

So I ask you, why are they doing this? Why, if at some level, however deep, they don't actually want help? If at some level, with some tiny part of themselves, they don't actually want to feel better?

Which leads to another thing about these cries for help -- they tend to hook those who want to help and will try hard to help. This is a trap which is extremely difficult to get out of. If you don't respond to the cry for help you are a cold, unfeeling brute. If you do respond, you may end up being used for all sorts of purposes by the person crying. The deep hooks are emotional, not rational.

Really good post, though, Ididit. I'm still thinking it over.

This is precisely why I do not trust counselors - but have learned to "use" rather than place any sort of "dependance in" them.

I would say that there is often a disconnect between the person who wants help and the type of help a self declared rescuer tries to provide. First, wanting help does not equate wanting to be rescued. Second, rescuers who rush in and impose their version of help can be quite annoying and off base. Third, self declared dogooders can be very scary people who are responding out of their own needs, not that of the person seeking assistance. There are other reasons as well.

All very true, Stopdog. And of course, each case, each situation, is unique.

Posted by Crypts:
This is precisely why I do not trust counselors - but have learned to "use" rather than place any sort of "dependance in" them.

Can you clarify for me, Crypts? Am I understanding you don't trust counselors because they may end up abandoning you?

Hi All,

I am new to this forum so just getting use to the layout.

I’ve read some of the posts (apologies I have not got through all of them yet).

I am very sorry to hear of so many damaging stories in therapy. Wishing you a brighter future.

I have had experience of a very difficult ending of long-term therapy which has led me to question the ethics around endings.

I am looking to connect with other clients based in the U.K. that have had a similar experience.

If this relates to any of you and you would like to talk further please feel free to get in touch

But isn't this similar to the "resistant client" concept so popular with therapists these days?

You know, Budfox, reading this section of my post over, I may have worded it backwards. What I meant to say was that with some part of themselves, those who reached out for help must truly have WANTED it. Or at least have been in such pain that they thought they wanted it. (Does that make sense? Not sure...)

But surely wanting some help is not the same as wanting any help no matter what. The help may be the wrong kind of help for that person.

Yes, agreed. But who figures out what kind of help is needed? If any?