Has therapy helped or not helped (incl.harm from therapy)

Helped.
Therapy helped me to recognize abusive behavior, set boundaries, navigate the choices I needed to make, gives me a safe place to talk about it.

Alternatives: Yoga and massage therapy have been helpful in conjunction with regular therapy. They helped with trauma processing in a way that sitting around talking about it couldn't; therapy gave me a place to reframe and process things that came up during yoga or massage.

Therapy (if that's what you want to call it) never helped me with depersonilization, depression and anxiety. Therapists never looked that deep into me.

I've been in therapy for about 8 years on this round and it has been helpful in these ways most importantly:

1) processing a traumatic past and eliminating my PTSD symptoms-- no more nightmares, flashbacks, anxieties, memories that are difficult to deal with; essentially changing my neurology from one that is very fearful/prone to quick panics and other overwhelming feelings to feeling grounded and safe;

2) dealing with the grief of my spouse dying (still an ongoing project, as is the above still), deep work that relates to the other losses in my life;

3) leaving a job that wasn't right for me to work for myself and building my life into something I want.

I haven't felt harmed but I did see a bad therapist for six months or so many years ago.

I have never relied on therapy alone and have found massage therapy, tai chi, st. john's wort, meditation and mindfulness, to be excellent for relieving symptoms and improving my well being. Lately, I've been using CBD oil (full spectrum, no THC) for better mental focus and decreased general, low level anxiety.

Overall definitely very helpful, though therapy has also been harmful at other points in my life when working with terrible/incompetent therapists.

Tangible ways therapy has helped:
1. I'm still alive.
2. I'm much better than I once was at forming close, meaningful, mutual relationships and relying on other people.
3. I know a lot more about myself and my patterns, and can much more readily recognize signs that I'm becoming depressed or otherwise self-destructive.
4. I've been able to make decisions I'm happy with about some major things that I was previously very conflicted about.

I've also had experiences with therapy that were actively harmful, and others that were perhaps neutral at best but also a huge waste of time and money. It's a tough thing to figure out in a lot of cases.

Quite honestly I would have to say both.
Here is the good:
I’m no longer fantasizing about suicide
I am more self aware
I have learned some strategies to keep me focused and not dissociate
I understand why I used to feel shameful about sex
I understand that my parents did the best that they could, even though it wasn’t enough

Here is the bad:
The inconsistencies, that is the most confusing, frustrating, thing ever!!
I do NOT get why and how my therapist is so warm and caring one week then the next she feels so far away. I’m really thinking it is intentional to rouse me and make me angry... but it is cruel. I have learned that she cares but not near as much as I thought. I get that this is her job but how do you get someone to fall into therapy love and then back off in a big way?? She tells me that I need to be vulnerable when in session.. we’ll, I’m afraid if I completely let my guard down then I will be hurt more than I could ever imagine.

Hmm, I've had that experience in and outside of therapy, but I do not interpret it as someone intentionally trying to make me angry. That seems like a leap over several links of a potentially causal chain.

I think my perception of other people in front of me is at least as much about me as it is about them. The more vulnerable I feel, the more searching I am for cues in the other person (and for me, those cues skew to the negative), and thus I tend to see people as colder, more rushed, less present with me.

I also try to remember that I impact the person sitting across from me, even my T. He might be reacting to me. I have felt it at times: the more open I am, the more open he is. Sometimes my perception of the other person is distorted not only because of the lens I'm looking through, but because they are reacting to me.

I think expectations of consistency and more than one person in a room are difficult to achieve. In my experience of my therapist, he engages in certain behaviors, including the way he greets me, sits down, and asks me how I am. But how I feel about each session, including him, is wildly different from week to week. Sometimes it's been a topic of conversation and can be revealing. I wonder if it would be helpful to you to say how you experience things.

Previous T over five years ago:
Not Helped
*I despised my neediness and so did he, called me "childish"
*Had countertransference
*Thought he knew/understood me, but it is obvious now, he didn't.
*He wanted me to be someone else (a perfect patient)
*Was manipulative when trying to terminate, treated me like a piece of garbage, then threw me away. Thank God I got out. It damaged me.

Current T
Helped/and continues to help
*Continues to help me with my social anxiety
*Accepts me for who I am while also helping me become who I want to be
*He treats my so kindly, so caring, so understanding even when I am at my worst. He has a good sense of humor that I like.
*I know some will say this is "idealization", but while he's not perfect as no one is, he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for helping decrease tensions within me, and I highly suspect he is the same with his other patients. I believe he is noticed in the therapy community, but I wish all of them knew how effective he is. I feel so accepted and I don't feel like I am irritating him although I sometimes worry. Yes, I am afraid of leaving because he has helped so much that I am going to hate to not see him again. It makes me sad to think of it. I am thinking about something creative for when (it ends so he will always remember what a huge difference he has made and continues to make in my life. Of course, we re not thinking of stopping anytime soon Not sure what I am going to give him when, well, you know. But whatever it is he will know that h e made a huge difference in my life. And I hope he will always remember me. I have to stop before I cry.

He has changed my life, I am becoming the person I want to be.

Hi, I really appreciate your interest and this has been a very interesting thread. All of your questions are great and very valid. The thing about my own desire of participating in this message board is that I prefer not to bring or provide any professional opinion here. I know that I sometimes kinda cross that boudary but this is a good reminder for me to stay where I should stay. I am here just like any of us... I hope you understand

Thank you for your response. I’ve wondered if my therapist is responding to my behaviors, for lack of a better word. I think she gets annoyed with me sometimes because I am resistant to body work. But at the same time I really feel like the warm to cold stuff is on her. I don’t know if she is experiencing counter transference or if she is just screwing with me. I’m going to do better with discussing what I am feeling.