I can’t stop watching the clock

I know this is a dumb little thing, but I’m having some trouble not fixating on the clock, and I’m wondering if anyone else struggles with this. From where I sit on the couch, I can see 2 clocks. One day, I noticed that they were off by about one minute and I sort of panicked because I was thinking to myself that I didn’t want to stay too long, but I also don’t want to leave too early and I didn’t know which clock was right. There is a third clock behind my head that T can see and I started to worry about what time that clock said.

Anyway, I mentioned to my T that it sort of stressed me out. I feel like I need to be the one watching the clock. I’m independent and not used to relying on others for things, so maybe that’s part of it. When our time is up sometimes I mention it to T or sometimes I wait for him to say something, but I’m always very aware that time is up. He is very subtle about it though and never says “time’s up” or anything like that and I do worry about feeling hurt if he says that to me. He said that he will be in charge of the time, but I don’t know if I want that. I don’t want to feel like the ending is abrupt and I don’t know that I want to hear him tell me it’s time to go. I guess I’d rather be the one to make that decision. I think I’d just rather be in control of that. But since he is so subtle about how he ends our sessions, I’m worried I might miss his cues if I’m in the middle of talking about something. Today he said he almost covered the clocks, but I’m glad he didn’t. As we were ending I said “I think it’s time,” and he said, “We still have 26 seconds.” So I guess he was sort of in charge, but not really.

Does anyone know what this is all about? Do you have any clock “issues”?

I have an alarm on my watch that goes off 15 mins before my hour is up and again at 5 mins before my hour is up. My T goes the full 50-60 mins, close to the 60 min mark with pretty much everyone, it seems. When I first started seeing her, she wore a watch that I would use to see what time it was and monitor the time. She wondered for the longest time how I knew. Then she got a different watch that didn't show the time until you turned it to you. That's when I set an alarm. Obsessed? Well maybe. For me the abrupt endings are bad, so it's better if I'm aware of the time and can work a transition into things.

My clock issue is that I used to always look at the clock to see how much time was left. I was distracting myself and it made me anxious! T solved the problem. She never fails to turn the clock around so I can't see it! There's another clock but only she can see it. She will tell me when we only have a few minutes left or when I ask.

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I am definitely a clock watcher! When I had no insurance it would really be an annoyance as I'd have thoughts like, well that minute of silence just cost me $2. Now I have insurance I still watch the clock because, as Lrad said, being told 'time is up' would be really disturbing, as if she had yelled, 'get out of my sight.' I'd feel like I'd done something wrong.

Lrad, what about Rainbow's approach of having the t turn the clock around?

I have insisted for quite a while that T gives me a 5 minute warning. I can see the clock from where I sit, but I often move around on the couch and am not facing the clock. He is now pretty good with the 5 min warning, which calms me down.

Yeah, my T mentioned that he could turn the clocks around. Somehow I don’t love the idea. I just really like to know what time it is. Maybe I could do it if I got a 10 min warning.