Hi,

I am putting a problem I had with therapy into words - limitation of power.
One of the topics to put me down is - how strong can I ever be?
I seek to fulfill my upmost potential, yet I’ve been disappointed with the disempowerment therapy would provide

[here today]

A good statement of a problem, seems to me, which is rarely put in words. Rarely, that is, in words that are direct and close to experience, and not embedded in abstract psychoanalytic theory.

I can kind of translate it into abstract theory. But translating from the theory back into something useful/helpful seems to have been a challenge for psychology for a long time. Which speaks to me of a limitation of the accuracy and power of the theory. Even though it can be somewhat descriptive at times.

So . . .can you elaborate on this problem, in your own words? You seek to fulfill this potential, yet have been disappointed. Sounds as if you have a sense or image of this potential and that -- as a result of therapy? -- you question how strong you can ever be, whether this potential can be realized. Is that right?

And then, if it can't. . .the disappointment is. . .overwhelming?

[missbella]

I've been surprised in two directions. I ultimately found therapy extremely enfeebling, though I didn't realize its consequences at the time. The structure being a supplicant to an assumed all-knowing authority figure (for that's how they presented themselves) habituated my helplessness and sense of victimhood.

But then I've been surprised at who I am and what I've been able to accomplish professionally, in my artistic pursuits and making a difference in family and community. I found the real power, and discovering myself, comes in the living, and there is no shortcut for that.

[Fernwehxx]

Originally Posted by missbella

I've been surprised in two directions. I ultimately found therapy extremely enfeebling, though I didn't realize its consequences at the time. The structure being a supplicant to an assumed all-knowing authority figure (for that's how they presented themselves) habituated my helplessness and sense of victimhood.
.

OMG, thats a horrible way for a counselor or therapist to present themselves.

If you feel this way, you may want to think about finding someone who focuses on working together with client. It should be the focus of every licensed counselor.

[Deejay14]

Therapy should encourage empowerment.

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Therapy should encourage empowerment.

Tell that to my ex therapist who preyed on my soul for money

[missbella]

Originally Posted by Fernwehxx

OMG, thats a horrible way for a counselor or therapist to present themselves.

If you feel this way, you may want to think about finding someone who focuses on working together with client. It should be the focus of every licensed counselor.

Thanks, at this point that ship has sailed. I'm extremely attuned to the subtle signals of social hierarchy, and based on several experiences no therapist was even close to regarding me as equal.

There are subtle signs of contempt at times. It's important to notice them as soon as possible
So anyway, I am personally disappointed in life, as it seems therapy wouldn't make me into the successful person I ever wanted to be. The scars from my previous therapy don't heal and I have no idea how to ever heal them, and I worry what could happen in future therapies so I don't bother going

[missbella]

I found my therapy merely triangulated and added more burdens. Though therapy was detrimental, I continued and continue moving forward without it.

Originally Posted by missbella

I found my therapy merely triangulated and added more burdens. Though therapy was detrimental, I continued and continue moving forward without it.

How?
I know it's off-topic but I'm curious to know

[missbella]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

How?
I know it's off-topic but I'm curious to know

VO~ I'll guess that you're asking about the moving on part of the sentence rather than the triangulation part.

I came to therapy with the unrealistic expectation it would make me a different person, a fantasy that therapists fed actively and passively. (One therapist even sent me for a beauty make-over to go with what she thought was a reborn personality.) I was very timid, deferential and intimidated by any stronger personality, which was most people.

I've spent a great deal of time de-throning the gurus that therapists pretended to be. They had no magic; they couldn't possibly know what they feign. They were no more than people who took classes, had classmates, teachers and lunch like everyone else at schools that granted no special powers or wisdom. That process helped me to be less intimidated by everyone else with a "good act" as I understand the reason for it.

I had and still have strong goals for myself; to do interesting work with interesting, talented people. I eventually moved to a new city and got a better job. My artistic work takes me places. I've become less anxious just through growing older. I've also proven my own competence to myself, again helping me with that intimidation factor. I'm better at both dealing with bullies and seeing the root of their behavior. I also calm myself with fitness, and prior to knee problems, yoga and walks.

I'm convinced that I never would have made many changes thinking about my mother in a room. My changes needed to be out in the world.