[nottrustin]

I have read here about feeling like t feeling like a parent in session. Not from parental transference but some they say triggers a reaction. Never in a million years did I think it would happen because I only have happy memories of my mom.

But it happened this week and is awful. She had gone to a conference this week with the intention of learning to help me more. So she told me briefly what she learned and the technique and purpose. It included challenging me when I turned something positive into a negative. So she kept repeating the positives and asking "why can't you just leave it at my the positive why do you need to go to a negative space" over and over. After a couple of times of her saying this I felt like it was my mom sitting there angry hollering at me for doing or saying something. With my mom if I responded she would even angrier. So I leaned to not talk or cry or respond in any way. I wanted to say stop to T but I couldn't. I was also trying the keep focus on the fact that this was T and she wasn't angry. But no matter how much I tried to to stay in the present I felt like I was in trouble and needed to just shut up and take it. At the end of our session when T hugged me as she always does it reinforced that she was not mad...but again feeling like I was hugging my mom and wishing I was.

I emailed her after to tell her what happened. Told her I don't want to discuss it through email but wanted to touch base.

So many mixed emotions

[unaluna]

Its like catching a butterfly, being in that moment, and trying to step out of it by talking, but not wanting to lose it at the same time.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Its like catching a butterfly, being in that moment, and trying to step out of it by talking, but not wanting to lose it at the same time.

Exactly....if I could see my mom one more time I would be okay with her being mad

Jeez, that sounds awful. I am not sure that by telling someone to see positives is very helpful at all and actually all of this positive psychology and thinking positive has been proven to be counter productive because inherently it is invalidating our feelings and ignoring them.
I am sorry, it must have been very hurtful to experience this part of your t. I am glad you emailed her about it afterwards. It sounds like her counter transference got the better of her.

This has happened with my t a number of times and she actually said I am fed up with you projecting your mother onto me but I don’t think that’s what happened, something similar to what happened in your session. She said or did something that reminded me of my mother and it evoked a strong reaction in me and t reacted back by getting angry. I know you said your t wasn’t angry but it does sound like she was irritated.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Jeez, that sounds awful. I am not sure that by telling someone to see positives is very helpful at all and actually all of this positive psychology and thinking positive has been proven to be counter productive because inherently it is invalidating our feelings and ignoring them.
I am sorry, it must have been very hurtful to experience this part of your t. I am glad you emailed her about it afterwards. It sounds like her counter transference got the better of her.

This has happened with my t a number of times and she actually said I am fed up with you projecting your mother onto me but I don’t think that’s what happened, something similar to what happened in your session. She said or did something that reminded me of my mother and it evoked a strong reaction in me and t reacted back by getting angry. I know you said your t wasn’t angry but it does sound like she was irritated.

Nothing like this has happened to me before. I suspect you could be right. She knows this time of year is very painful because of mothers day and my mom's birthday. When she hugged me at the end and said goodbye she had her "I feel like crying but need to hold back". I know she struggles when I am in pain over my mom or abuse.