[kkrrhh]

In all my years of trying therapy, I feel like I can never find a therapist who's actually equipped to handle my issues. It feels like they're made more for patients with like, a mild case of anxiety or moderate depression or something like that. I don't exactly have any of the main diagnoses that might first pop to mind when someone mentions "severe" mental illness, but I'm pretty much a mess. I don't even know what my diagnoses are at this point (other than depression, social anxiety, and GAD for sure), but I feel like if the word "neurotic" was still used it'd be fitting.
To sort of explain what I'm talking about... I don't have DID, though I do have dissociation issues, but when I hear about intensive therapy people have to integrate, I can't imagine any of the therapists I've ever seen doing therapy that in-depth.
I feel like there has to be somewhere I can get better therapy along those lines, rather than therapist after therapist just pushing CBT when it almost seems comically hopeless, or just endless sort of superficial talk therapy.

I don't know whether I'm just imagining some magical therapist that doesn't exist, but I just feel like there has to be something that can somehow make some lasting change. I'm feeling more and more hopeless, and at this point I don't see myself making it in life with the tiny band-aid that therapy can put on while meanwhile it feels I'm practically mentally and emotionally deteriorating.

And on a slighty-related side note, if I could find a therapist who seemed really good but was expensive, would it be completely ridiculous to send an email partly explaining my situation and practically begging to see if they ever do free patients or something like that? Is it even possible that one might take pity and help out, or would I just seem legitimately crazy (for lack of better way to put it)? At different points I've almost considered doing that, but figured it'd be a bit weird or ridiculous.

[MoxieDoxie]

You need to search for a trauma therapist that does ego state therapy and EMDR. They will actually bring about change and work will get done in therapy. I started with a therapist who's profile said his specialty was PTSD and Borderline PD but I swear he is only good for shooting the breeze with. I had to start looking for a more serious therapist if I was ever going to progress and get better. I kept looking and after 4 months found one. I see both of them still. T1 for discussing weekly events and talking things out and then T2 for the real work.

[ElectricManatee]

I'm not totally sure what your perfect match of a therapist would look like, but you can find therapists who are willing and capable to work in-depth. You might just need to talk to many of them and be specific about what you are looking for before you can find somebody whose personality and way of working meets your needs.

I wouldn't categorize myself as having a severe mental illness, but I have had issues with depression and anxiety for two decades that have impacted my life functioning to various degrees that whole time. Previous stints in therapy helped a little with managing my life but didn't really solve the problem. My current time in therapy has been mostly twice-weekly appointments for a little over two years. It's exhausting, painstaking work, but it's actually starting to change my distorted view of myself on a deep level, which is clearing up my depression and anxiety symptoms. My therapist is a trauma therapist and does a lot of relational therapy. She has told me before that she is passionate about doing longer-term, deep work with clients who want to do that, even though she is also trained in CBT and works with plenty of people who are more interested in shorter, quicker therapy.

As for the cost, it seems somewhat unlikely that a therapist would agree to take on a new client for free. That's just not a good business model. Some of them will have a limited number of discounted sliding scale spots for clients with financial need, but you're going to have to pay something. You could also try a local counseling/psychology clinic that works with the public at a discount, although those are usually training programs with student therapists, and they would not be suitable for deeper, longer-term therapy.

[feralkittymom]

If you don't have a proper diagnosis, it would seem that's the place to begin. Call the best local hospital's psychiatry department for a consultation. The social services coordinator should be able to work with you on possible referrals.

[fille_folle]

If you've only ever received CBT, and it hasn't been effective, that alone could be the issue. I know CBT doesn't work at all well for me, although I know it works well for many people. For the record, I don't get much from EMDR, either. Anyway, not gaining much from CBT doesn't necessarily mean you have some sort of extra severe mental illness (not saying either way, obviously, I don't know you and I'm not a clinician, anyway). All it means is that CBT as a modality doesn't work for you. That is a legitimate problem. Look for a therapist who practices a different modality. Most other modalities go deeper than CBT. You could try psychodynamic, for example (if you are able to talk and can handle silence sometimes).

[marcoleap]

There are many kinds of therapists that do deeper work than CBT--and by deeper I mean they look to change emotional experience and help the client heal from relational trauma, attachment injuries, etc. The term "psychodynamic" covers a range of therapies that discuss childhood experiences, work with emotion, and use the relationship between client and therapist as an important part of the healing. In other words, they do more than just look to change your thinking, although that may also be part of their broader approach. My therapist specializes in an approach called Internal Family Systems, and it operates on a deeper level than the CBT therapists I've seen in the past.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by kkrrhh

In all my years of trying therapy, I feel like I can never find a therapist who's actually equipped to handle my issues. It feels like they're made more for patients with like, a mild case of anxiety or moderate depression or something like that. I don't exactly have any of the main diagnoses that might first pop to mind when someone mentions "severe" mental illness, but I'm pretty much a mess. I don't even know what my diagnoses are at this point (other than depression, social anxiety, and GAD for sure), but I feel like if the word "neurotic" was still used it'd be fitting.
To sort of explain what I'm talking about... I don't have DID, though I do have dissociation issues, but when I hear about intensive therapy people have to integrate, I can't imagine any of the therapists I've ever seen doing therapy that in-depth.
I feel like there has to be somewhere I can get better therapy along those lines, rather than therapist after therapist just pushing CBT when it almost seems comically hopeless, or just endless sort of superficial talk therapy.

I don't know whether I'm just imagining some magical therapist that doesn't exist, but I just feel like there has to be something that can somehow make some lasting change. I'm feeling more and more hopeless, and at this point I don't see myself making it in life with the tiny band-aid that therapy can put on while meanwhile it feels I'm practically mentally and emotionally deteriorating.

And on a slighty-related side note, if I could find a therapist who seemed really good but was expensive, would it be completely ridiculous to send an email partly explaining my situation and practically begging to see if they ever do free patients or something like that? Is it even possible that one might take pity and help out, or would I just seem legitimately crazy (for lack of better way to put it)? At different points I've almost considered doing that, but figured it'd be a bit weird or ridiculous.

Maybe consider seeing a psychiatrist who also does psychotherapy?