[LovelyRose]

My T is a very nice and fun person but I don't really see therapy going that far. I've been seeing her for probably about 6 months. In this time she hardly knows anything about me. She continues to talk about the same things repeatedly which are just school, a bit of family stuff, and a bit about mood. She basically has insisted I just have anxiety and depression which I don't agree with much. She has helped me a little bit but I don't see it going very far. I guess I'm mainly just afraid of switching and not being able to find another decent T and wasting the work and chance I already had with her. Especially since I've had bad experiences with T's in the past.

[Lemoncake]

I would listen to my gut feeling and try to find someone else. Personally I don't think you lose any of the personal growth you gain in therapy.

[maybeblue]

Have you tried to bring up other topics with her and she has refused to discuss them? Or are you hoping that she will ask you something in particular? It sounds like you don't agree with her diagnosis. Have you brought that up to her?

Finding another therapist is always an option, but it is kind of a pain. I guess I'm wondering how directly you have tried to discuss things with her.

I've been to way too many therapists in my life, and I find they come in two sorts...the kind that will adapt to the way I need them to respond to and work with me, and the kind that won't. But none of them were all that helpful until I figured out how to ask for what I need.

[Wonderfalls]

Mine doesn't seem interested in my past or my emotions.She likes to talk about politics and last time we talked about religion (in general). We agree about those things and she is interested in my opinion, but it certainly doesn't feel like therapy. She's the third one I've tried since my old one retired and we seem to like each other (though she ignores my advice about how easy it would be to make her office at least somewhat less clinical). I'd rather not change again. Are there questions I could ask her?

[Teddy Bear]

Try asking if you could talk about something else

[stopdog]

I always enjoyed interviewing new ones. It was always an interesting experiment for me

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

Mine doesn't seem interested in my past or my emotions.She likes to talk about politics and last time we talked about religion (in general). We agree about those things and she is interested in my opinion, but it certainly doesn't feel like therapy. She's the third one I've tried since my old one retired and we seem to like each other (though she ignores my advice about how easy it would be to make her office at least somewhat less clinical). I'd rather not change again. Are there questions I could ask her?

What are your goals for therapy? I would very directly say "While I enjoy finding someone who agrees with me on politics, I don't feel like I've made very much progress on my depression(or whatever you are there for). Do you think we could talk about that for awhile?" I always make at least a mental and sometimes a physical list for what I want to talk about for each session. Otherwise I find therapy useless and it's pretty expensive for me. I think therapists mostly appreciate an agenda.

[Erebos]

A T that wants paid for talking about their own likes and interests? Hardly Therapy.
That's you paying for an hour of socialising, and an expensive hour at that.
I'd be having words.
I don't need a friend, or a buddy. I certainly don't need to pay for one.
But that's just my perspective.

[bobcat21]

I know from my experience ( again only my experience) you could try and see how it goes with this T and if and only if you decide well I really don’t think this is working first find a new T and yes it is hard finding a new one. Test the waters with the new T and see how it goes and if and only if your feel like you like the new T you can stop seeing the current T.

[Ididitmyway]

Whatever benefit you have received from this therapist is not going to be lost or wasted. It looks like what you've been getting for a while is not therapy. At least, at this time it doesn't look like a therapy experience, so you are essentially wasting time and money now.

I understand the fear of not being able to find a good T for a while, the one you can feel comfortable with, especially when you've had a bad experience with Ts previously. But you won't be able even to start the search as long as you are seeing this T. I mean, of course, you can start "shopping around" now and not inform your current T about it, but you are not going to be completely present with any prospective therapist because you won't have closed the door on this one and a big part of your energy will be attached to the comfort of seeing your current T. We, humans, are creatures of habit. Even if something is not working for us we are very reluctant to let go of it because there is always a certain comfort around the status quo and we are too attached to comfort to let go of it. As long as you keep seeing the current T, no new T would feel comfortable, because ANY new experience is uncomfortable. Only ending the current "therapy" will open your mind to new opportunities.

All of the above is not to say that you should leave your current T. I have just described the reality of your situation, as I see it. What you do with it is certainly up to you.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I always enjoyed interviewing new ones. It was always an interesting experiment for me

A successful experiment, I hope?

I just don’t have the brains to experiment when interviewing for a new therapist. I tend to go with recommendations. I’ve found that shrinks that come highly recommended tend to be good. More ‘word of mouth’ than internet rating sites.

That’s just me.