[Fuzzybear]

I’m wondering what you do or say when you have a misunderstanding in therapy (or with other people for that matter, especially people you don’t know well)

I’m not a “child” (obviously, as I’ve been here so freakin long ) but I’ve had to learn so many things the hard way ... childhood abuse and neglect.

Also I’ve been dxd with “Avoidant pd” amongst other things. Sometimes I’m “socially awkward” ... I, personally, am not a fan of labels although I’m sure they have their uses.

Right now I’m feeling ....

I’ll probably go back to lurking ...

I am not intending to cause offence to anyone. I kind of jumped into this forum recently without reading much... I usually post in a different forum.

I’m still learning.. and make many mistakes.

Peace...

[kecanoe]

I have Mixed PD w/avoindant traits, so kind of similar.

When I have a misunderstanding in therapy I make myself talk about it. Sometimes I journal about it and take the journal in (T1 reads my journaling out loud, sometimes we talk about it). Sometimes I just blurt it out, or say that I was uncomfortable after the last session due to ...


My Ts have all dealt with that skillfully and it has helped.

[unaluna]

I found it really really hard my first few years probably on PC. At least my first year. I was always getting huffy with people. To take into consideration, it was my first real time participating on a website. But i kept picturing myself being in first and second grade, we had separate playgrounds by grades, ours had swings and slides, and i was so shy. I wanted to swing, but no one would get off the swing just to let me on. The room mother advised me to ask, but no way i could do that!

I did better when we got to 4th grade and played movie stars - someone would say initials and you had to guess what movie star.

Anyway, some of the best experiences i had on here in early times was answering newbies.

I dont know what im saying. Just being yourself works here.

when t and i have a misunderstanding in therapy and it's happened often enough i have found that talking through it has been the best thing to do. one time it was pretty bad and i even quit in an angry email but we were able to talk through that one as well. it's harder on an online forum like PC because it removes that in-person element or whatever.

[ruh roh]

Hi Fuzzybear, you might like the couch. It's more laid back and chatty than topic threads where it's harder to predict what might flare up.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks everyone

A “trauma bond” :-(

Can anyone relate to this? :-(

(Edited)

I’m just rambling.... walking on eggshells, I ............

I think my physical health stuff makes me “unendearing” - that rash, it sounds trivial but it isn’t..

...... maybe I’ll find a “better” or more
“endearing” way to explain things..

Btw I was jumped on the first time I spoke in a “therapy group”. (In “real” life) ..... is this supposed to be “part of the process”?

I was trying to explain something very painful in the family of origin....... I don’t think I’ve ever shared it on pc (or any forum)

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

A “trauma bond” :-(

Can anyone relate to this? :-(

yeah...unfortunately i do. i never heard of this term until i started trying to figure out and learn why therapy at that time and the relationship with my ex-T often felt like a complete 'mind f*&k'.

[stopchewinggum]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

I have Mixed PD w/avoindant traits, so kind of similar.

When I have a misunderstanding in therapy I make myself talk about it. Sometimes I journal about it and take the journal in (T1 reads my journaling out loud, sometimes we talk about it). Sometimes I just blurt it out, or say that I was uncomfortable after the last session due to ...


My Ts have all dealt with that skillfully and it has helped.

I like the journaling idea. Perhaps, fuzzybear could journal, and then, have their T read it in the next session. It might feel more comfortable.

[Lemoncake]

This morning I sent my T an angry email telling him why I was mad at him instead of acting out and skipping sessions like I normally used to do.

His reply back was thoughtful and kind. So that's that over but I feel like they have to be willing to meet you half way.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I’m wondering what you do or say when you have a misunderstanding in therapy (or with other people for that matter, especially people you don’t know well)

I’m not a “child” (obviously, as I’ve been here so freakin long ) but I’ve had to learn so many things the hard way ... childhood abuse and neglect.

Also I’ve been dxd with “Avoidant pd” amongst other things. Sometimes I’m “socially awkward” ... I, personally, am not a fan of labels although I’m sure they have their uses.

Right now I’m feeling ....

I’ll probably go back to lurking ...

I am not intending to cause offence to anyone. I kind of jumped into this forum recently without reading much... I usually post in a different forum.

I’m still learning.. and make many mistakes.

Peace...

It is a part of life, and therapy. After many years of therapy it still happens, because it is a part of life and because of my inclination towards wanting my therapist to be perfect (good mother only please!). I understand this but it still doesn't feel good when it happens.

I just keep showing up, and talking about it. Also not easy because pain is not easy, being honest about my wishes isn't easy, acknowledging my fears is not easy. What's easy is avoidance, denial, dismissiveness, etc, although those things aren't comforting or relieving and don't allow exploration for understanding and growth. But a good therapist will help this vicious cycle by revisiting it every time it happens, and each revisiting is an opportunity for relief and comfort.

I felt 100% child at the beginning of therapy, and now still feel to a degree and depending on my needs at the moment. I used to think all emotional needs were childish and I have learned to recognize the same needs as adults experience them.

[dlantern]

Usually folks like this get the bad end of the stick it never their fault it is a lot of oppoosing apathy to say the least. Just way it is in the world like Theo in the episode of Cosby will change it up in a minute to allow you learn that we can't see the point just like a hospital and the mental faciilities you got to shop around . Learn not to get on their bad side see what they deal with...then you can safely tell them about themselves but mostly it is a suservent way to seek help and get any in return.